


Retreat

by pbmolecules



Category: Supernatural
Genre: BusinessCas!, CowboyDean!, Cowboys, Domestic, Family, FamilyCas!, Hiding Relationships, Holiday, Horseback Riding, Horses, John Winchester is a terrible dad, M/M, Resort, Romance, Separation, Utah - Freeform, Vacation, Work, abusive pasts, coming to terms with sexuality, familyDean!, grand canyon - Freeform, shaming, shitty family for Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-20 17:02:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 41,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9501239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pbmolecules/pseuds/pbmolecules
Summary: Destiel AU. Angel's Landing is the resort Cas has chosen for his family's business retreat, geared to improve board member bonding.  With guided hikes reserved and horse trail riding, the vacation was bound to be beautiful.  Even if his counterparts were miserable, malicious bastards.  Dean's family business was slowly drowning him.  Angel's Landing was majestic and he loved the land, but he needed out.  Family responsibility might keep the men from ever being more than just a one night stand.





	1. 1.  Working Vacation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural or any of the characters. I do not own any music, books, lyrics, movies, or TV references.

Chapter 1. Working Vacation

 

Angel's Landing is an upscale resort in the heart of scenic route 12 which runs through the mighty red cliffs and canyons of Utah's Grand Staircase and Bryce Canyon. While the canyons are not as large as the Grand Canyon, only 250 miles away, it is arguably more beautiful and breath taking. The resort is designed for families and work retreats alike, with panoramic views of the Grand Staircase. Trips from the resort are mere minutes down the road and lead to hiking trails that can take amateurs and professional hikers alike.

As Castiel researched vacation retreats for small business groups, the deep red cliffs brought out a longing in him. It was his job, appointed by Luc, to make the accommodations. 

Something in the lonely grandeur called to him. So it was done. The board of directors, including his father, Luc, Raphael, Gabriel and himself and the other seven (not related) board members. This would be board members only. No spouses or children. Not that Castiel had either. 

The retreat was geared to improve board member bonding. With guided hikes reserved and horse trail riding, the vacation was bound to be beautiful. Even if his counterparts were miserable, malicious bastards.

"This is so quaint," Luc grinned, eyes twinkling. 

Castiel grinned tightly at him in the rear view mirror as he steered the rental over the windy highway. He knew better than to take the compliment for what it was. Luc was the oldest Novak child. He was their father's favorite. His approval of matters influenced their father greatly. And if Luc did not approve of this trip, there would be hell to pay.

"It will be less touristy than the Grand Canyon," Castiel said. "And the retreat's meeting room is beautiful."

"Mmm," Luc nodded, grin still wide.

Castiel sighed. There was little he could do now. Either they would hate it or they would like it and just bitch anyway.

The two vans they had rented pulled into a lane off route 12, passing under a large iron gateway with a CW in the center of the arch. They passed pastures dotted with rocky scrub brush and fields of grazing cattle. All around them, red cliffs could be seen with smooth steps and varying layers of earth displayed for all to see.

"This is beautiful," Gabe said from beside him.

Castiel gave his closest brother a sideways grin. Gabe was always there for him. Always backing him up. At least when he was around. Most of the time he was off running another branch of their father's insurance company. Castiel was in the trenches, so to speak, while his other two brothers rarely left their lofty board member perches. 

"I hate retreats," Raphael intoned, deep and droll. "Castiel, this better be worth our time."

Castiel followed a sign reading 'Angel's Landing'. As the van crested a hill, a sweeping resort came into view. It was small in comparison to the lush resorts they had used the past two years. 

"Ah yes. Quaint," Luc said from the back seat, less amusement in his voice than before.

"This place does have electricity, doesn't it?" Raphael glowered.

"Of course," Castiel said, pulling the van up to the entrance area. He got out of the car, thankful for the breathing room. He pulled his attaché case from the back and went inside to check in.

The building was made of deep reddish-brown ponderosa pine logs and grey, granite stones. It looked rustic as if it belonged in the rugged landscape, and yet clean lines and sweeping spaces made it look modern. 

He pulled the door open, noting the Native American tile and stone sculpture that covered a two-story wall. A fireplace sat at the bottom, empty with the summer heat, but looking warm and inviting. The stone and tile sculpture that covered the rest of the wall was of a spirit horse with an angelic looking warrior at a cliff's edge, looking down upon a canyon. 

Castiel froze, looking at the warrior's face. Proud. Determined. Firm. And yet kind. It was marvelous. 

"Impressive, isn't it?" Asked a balding man from behind the counter.

"Yes," Castiel marveled. He tore his eyes from the artwork and headed straight ahead for the counter.

"I'm checking in for the Novak group."

The man grinned slightly and nodded. 

Castiel would not describe him as a warm person. He seemed stern.  
They got through the check in steps easily, Castiel giving him his work credit card, footing the entire bill to their insurance company. 

A kind looking older woman came in from a door behind the counter. 

"Thank you for watching the desk for me Samuel," she said, patting his shoulder.

"Any time, Deana." His grin for her was warmer. "This is Castiel Novak, checking in with the group of 12."

"Wonderful!" Deana grinned, turning her green eyes on him. "We love having groups. Did you reserve any trail rides or hikes?"

"I did," Castiel smiled. She made him feel welcome and at ease.

"We are set for a trail ride tomorrow morning with Angel's Landing Stables and a hike to the Petrified Forest. The next day we are taking a guided tour through Bryce Canyon."

"Wonderful!" She came around the desk, putting her hand gently on his shoulder. "The board room is at your disposal for the three days your group is here." 

Castiel followed her beyond the stone art into double doors that opened into a room with a long, all glass wall overlooking a panoramic view.

"Wow!" Castiel gasped. "I saw the pictures," he said, walking to the windowed wall, "but this is...stunning." Canyon stretched further in either direction than he could see. The dipping crests rolled and jutted in a frozen chaos that pulled his eyes from one rocky formation to another. 

He turned to Deana, "Thank you, this is so lovely."

She beamed, continued, showing him their other amenities. 

 

Castiel returned to the van and escorted the other eleven to their rooms, giving each a copy of their itinerary, which they all had electronically weeks ago, but with service being spotty in the remote location, he wanted to be sure everyone knew when to be where. 

First on the agenda was a quarterly meeting to discuss profits and losses. Then dinner at the resort. Castiel knew most would follow that up with mingling at the bar. He unlocked his own room and dropped his bag onto the bed, the black rectangle of his bag blocking the southwest pattern of the bedspread. A mix of western and Native American decor made the room feel very homey to him. Much more pleasant than the sleek modern decor of most hotel rooms he was used to. 

He could not stop the grin that tipped his lips when he thought of how dissatisfied his brothers Luc and Raphael probably were. Those pricks could just deal with a dose of humble pie for once. The resort was immaculate. But those two were spoiled, wanting every thing around them to be luxurious.

Castiel turned, hearing a quick knock on his door. He opened it, shoulders relaxing a bit when Gabe strutted in.

"So, this is cool!" Gabe said, lollipop dangling from his mouth.

"Yeah? Glad you like it," Castiel said, shutting the door.

"Are you seriously making us go horseback riding in the morning?"

Castiel laughed. "It will be good for all of us. We could use a dose of rugged."

Gabe raised his eyebrows. "What evs. Ready for the meeting?" Gabe flopped onto the bed, shoving the suitcase over a bit.

"Yeah." Cas stood at the window, looking out at the rocky terrain. It was dotted with small green scrub bushes. Off to the left he could see horse corrals. A man stood in the center of a round pen with the horse on a long lead line. The horse was dark brown with even darker mane and tail. It abruptly stopped trotting, turning on the man. The man stepped quickly, one hand raised. The horse stared at him then turned back to the fence and began trotting again. Castiel wondered if maybe he was in over his head here as well. He had ridden horses before, but not out in the open on a trail ride. He hoped the horses were not as frisky as the one the man had his hands full with. 

"Are you gonna bring up the Parker case?" Gabe asked, looking through the resorts amenities book.

"Yes."

"You know that's gonna go over like a fart in church, right?"

Cas turned, looking at Gabe over his shoulder. "Yes. But it has to be discussed. Father acts like he is God. Dishing out life or death decisions. He had no right to deny chemo. They were covered. We have done it for others. And he just...denied them. That little girl is dead, Gabriel. And we could have prevented it."

"I know little bro," Gabe said gently. "It's the twenty fifth time this particular chemo was denied this year. Raphael is becoming ruthless."

"It needs to end. There has to be better insurance coverage for our clients." Castiel sat on the edge of his bed.

"I got your back, bro. I'll do what I can."

"I know, Gabriel. But I know you can only go so far. As well as myself." 

Castiel stood and turned back to the window, leaning one hand heavily onto it, resting his forehead against his forearm. 

The man in the round pen was standing with the horse now. He seemed to just be petting it. He felt Gabe next to him at the window. 

"I'm prepared to go further than you are, brother. Father does not have the leverage on me that he has on you."

The brothers eyes met. Castiel nodded.

 

*********************

 

The meeting had gone smoothly enough so far. Their profits were 2.3 billion for the quarter. Castiel felt it was time to bring up his concerns.

"I would like to discuss something," he said firmly. All eyes which had been on his father averted to him. Castiel swallowed. "I want to bring up the Parker case."

Their father stared, unmoved. Raphael sighed heavily and Luc laughed roughly.

"Of course you do," Luc scoffed. "If Castiel had his way, he would approve every whim these people want."

"April Parker did not get cancer on a whim," Castiel snapped, meeting Luc's gaze full on. "Yes, the chemo she required was costly. But a drop in the bucket when compared to the profits we made just this quarter."

"Every drop counts," Alistair said dryly.

"April died. She could have lived!" Castiel said through gritted teeth.

"Our profits are higher than any of our competitors," Gabe said. "If you continue to deny people what they need, you are going to kill off your own clientele. Not too business savvy, eh, Pops?"

Their father tipped his head slightly, acknowledging the comment but not commenting.

"People die every day!" Azazel whined, looking to Luc for confirmation.

"Too true," Luc said lightly, Dick Roman nodding along.

"This is unacceptable practice," Gabe said. 

That launched an argument that even Castiel had to brook his words for. Gabriel volleyed vehemently against the rest of the board, Castiel occasionally trying to back him up. Gabriel was angry. Mouth tight and eyes narrowed, he listened to their two brothers and several other board members spew a torrent of opinions that made Castiel's heart clench. These people were surely all going to hell no matter how righteous they believed themselves to be.

Gabriel's face was pinched and Castiel felt a cold clench in his stomach. He knew his brother was unhappy in their family business. When their mother had died two years ago, Gabriel and Castiel both had hopes that their father would lead the company into a more humanitarian era. So far he had done little. The retreats were the only positive change their father had begun. And it did nothing to help their clients. 

"Ya know what?" Gabriel snapped loud, stopping everyone. "You bunch of heartless bastards have a price to pay for your lack of humanity. Each and every one of you deserve the hell that awaits you."

Everyone sat silent. Even Luc wore no grin.

"I know enough about this company to sink it. And you all deserve it. You deserve what's coming to you."

"Gabriel," Raphael intoned, "Do not do this."

"Too late, bro. You had your chance."

Gabriel stood up to leave. 

"Gabriel, come on," Luc tried to appease. "We can take the Parker case under review.

"You do that, Luc. Not that that will make me stay. But maybe you won't actually burn in hell if you change your ways."

"Gabriel," Azazel said, "we will be on the phone to an attorney before you make it out the door. Your threats are meaningless."

Gabriel leaned down on the table onto his hands, glaring into Azazel's eyes. "Try me."

"Gabriel," their father said stonily, "if you walk out that door, you will be cut off from the family."

Gabriel nodded. "Lots of love to you too, Pops."

"No!" Castiel shot up from his chair. "Father, don't do this!"

"Sit down, Castiel," Luc said sternly with no humor. "We own you. Don't even try."

"This is wrong," Castiel said, his hopes sunk and his only ally in his entire family leaving.

"Sit, Castiel," their father said.

Castiel sat. Luc's words were true. His family owned him. Quite literally. He gave Gabe an imploring look.

"No worries, baby bro," Gabe grinned sadly. "We'll meet again."

"Not in this world," Luc scoffed.

Gabe winked at Castiel and he was gone. Cas slumped into his seat. He was defeated. Like always. His life was just one long string of defeats. He never felt more alone. 

"Well," Luc smiled at the board, "that little temper tantrum will be dealt with. The family will discuss what we want to do and we will discuss things further tomorrow. Until then, please, let's move this party to the dining room.

Everyone nodded, scooting their chairs back and filing out of the room. 

Castiel sat with his head in his hands. He was trapped. And there were seven board members who chose to be here. "Bunch of fucking lemmings," he said under his breath. Some of them were just as evil as his father and brothers. Some just did anything to stay in their lofty positions. The last one to leave was Bela. She threw Castiel a pouting look to mock him.

He rolled his eyes and stood, staring out at the breathtaking view. The world was full of such beauty. And such ugliness.

"Beautiful view, right?" Came a voice from behind him, making Castiel jump.

"Y-yes," he said. A teenage boy was busy in the room unhooking computer links.

"Do you work here?" Castiel asked, thinking he looked a bit young. He was tall. Taller than himself. Brown hair fringed around his ears and he shoved bangs out of his face, smiling. "Yep. My family owns the place."

"Oh. Family run, huh?"

"Yep." The teen stopped in front of him. "I'm Sam. Welcome to Angel's Landing." He smiled broadly and Castiel returned it.

"Thank you, Sam. It is truly beautiful here."

Castiel gathered his things and noticed Sam still watching him. 

"Hope you don't mind me sayin, but you seem like maybe you could use a walk."

Castiel looked at him, squinting slightly. The thought of going to dinner made him feel ill. He could certainly use a walk. "I do."

"There is a lane leading down to the stables. Can't get lost there. You don't want to try any trails tonight. It'll be dark soon."

"Thank you, Sam. I will do that."

 

Castiel had gone to Gabriel's room, but he was already gone. Most likely he had paid someone a small fortune to drive him out of town. He went to his own room to change out of his suit. He wore cargo shorts, a t-shirt and sneakers. The lane leading to the stables was well marked and he took several deep breaths of the clean, fresh air. It was cleansing. He heard whistling and stopped along a fence to watch two men herd the horses into a smaller corral connected to the stable. It was harmonious to watch. The sun was dipping low and the horses moved easily, neighing and clustering at a door to get into the stable.

One of the men turned, seeing him there, watching. He waved and Castiel waved back. He suddenly felt like he was intruding into someone's personal life. He should be back at the resort. He turned to leave, walking a few steps, catching sight of the resort looming in front of him. He did not want to go back there. He stood still in the middle of the lane. He had no where to go. Gabe was gone. 

"You doin okay there, sir?" Came a voice from beside him, making him jump.

"Y-yes," Castiel said, looking over and then up to an extremely handsome man in full cowboy gear, sitting atop a horse. "Oh my." 'He's average looking! You are NOT attracted to him!'

The man grinned, leaning his forearms down onto the horn of his saddle. The reigns were so loose that the horse had full control, but stood there watching Castiel as well. "You headed to the Landing?"

"No. Yes. I-" Castiel stammered. He looked away from the green eyes of the man talking to him. "I don't know."

The man nodded.

"I did not mean to disturb you. I was just walking," Castiel explained.

"No problem. Rough day?" He asked.

"Very." Castiel began walking toward the resort, the horse walking with him. The cowboy still leaning onto the saddle horn.

"Is everything okay at the Landing?"

Cas looked up at him and smiled. "Angel's Landing is wonderful. Are you related to the people that own it?"

"Yes, I am," he said, looking at the building ahead. If Castiel was not mistaken, there was a heaviness to that admission. "My grandparents on both sides went in together and combined my father's family's farm with my mother's family homestead. They built Angel's Landing."

Castiel nodded. "Is that not what you wish to do? Run this retreat?"

He tipped his chin with an apologetic grin. "Life is good man. Look at that view. It's my home. And always will be. Family business, ya know."

Castiel nodded. "Family business can be..." He shook his head unable to finish the sentence. He stopped walking, unable to bring himself to be any closer to his family. The horse stopped as well.

"I don't mean to interrupt you," Castiel said, glancing up at the real-life cowboy a mere two feet from him.

"It's no problem."

Castiel turned back toward the stable, the horse turning as well. He laughed.

"Ole Chopper likes you," he said, laughing at the horse who was watching Castiel intently.

Castiel stepped up to the fence, the horse putting its head over and allowing him to pet his silky muzzle.

"Well, maybe I will get to ride you tomorrow," Castiel said to Chopper. He glanced up, seeing a raised eyebrow on the tall cowboy. "Oh, I'm going for a trail ride in the morning."

The cowboy nodded, grinning and patting Chopper on his broad neck. "Chopper's not a guest horse. But I'll be sure you get a good one. Are you with the group of 12 I have in the morning?"

"I am." 

"Well, I'll see you in the morning. My name's Dean."

Castiel smiled. "I'm Castiel."

"See you in the morning, Cas."

Castiel stepped back and watched as the cowboy loped away. He had to grin. The cowboy was hot. 'He is NOT hot. He is just doing his job! Oh who am I kidding? Okay, you can have exactly 2 minutes to think about him. Then it's over. Done.' Yeah, he was the hottest man he had ever seen. Cowboy hat, green eyes that were gorgeous, lean, toned body with muscular forearms that held the reigns and commanded horses with ease. And holy shit, the chaps. And a firm denim clad ass in those leather chaps. Boots. Real ones. Broken in and dirty with spurs on them. An easy smile. 

Castiel had to shake himself away from the fence rail. He walked back into the Landing with a dazed expression and a new layer of nervousness about tomorrow. Then he immediately began stuffing the thoughts deep down inside. He was not attracted to men. 'But THAT man, I mean, who could blame him? No, not attracted. Just a friendly guy. Yes. Courteous and friendly.' He went straight to his room, his heart still heavy. He closed his door and leaned against it. Dean the cowboy. Nice guy. Castiel gained a grip on his thoughts and feelings. 'You have other things to worry about.'

 

The next day began with a quick breakfast in the conference room. Having no dinner the night before, Castiel filled up quickly on jelly donuts and coffee. He had slept little, usual for him, with thoughts of Gabriel twisting and turning in his mind. 

His family were not ones to make enemies of. He worried for his brother. He had hoped that Gabe had made plans for a day like today. But knowing Gabe, it had been a spontaneous decision. He would help him however he could. 

"Horseback riding?" Raphael said over his shoulder. "Do you think yourself funny, Castiel?"

"No, not particularly. You always tell me I have a lousy sense of humor, Raphael." Castiel met Raphael's glare equally.

"Don't think for one moment I will not cut your salary if you make a fool of me."

Castiel rolled his eyes. Raphael had cut his salary before. Only guilt and family obligation had him trapped into working for his family's company. 

And both were wearing thin. 

"It'll be fine," Luc grinned. "Worst thing that can happen is you'll fall off and, oh, look like a fool."

"Thanks, Luc," Castiel grimaced.

"Anytime, bro." He clapped Castiel on the shoulder, wearing that evil grin he seemed to be born with.

They made their way down the path toward the stable by 8:30. They clustered around the stable entrance where Dean and another man waited for them. 

“Novak group?” Dean grinned at them all.

“Yes,” Raphael snapped with unneeded bitterness. Dean’s smile barely fluctuated as he waved them into the barn.

Castiel gave him an embarrassed smile. “There will only be ten of us, instead of twelve.”

“No problem,” Dean nodded. His grin was small but sincere and Castiel had to look away before he started blushing. 

Gabriel had not miraculously turned up during the night. And his father had not come for the ride, stating it was not necessary. Castiel would have argued that it was necessary. That this board needed brought back to life. But it would have been in vain.

By the time all ten were mounted, Castiel wished he could run away. His brothers and the other board members were a prudish, stuck up bunch. Castiel could see the exchanged looks between Dean and Bobby, the man helping Dean. Dean was friendly and professional, but much cooler with the others than he was with Castiel. 

Castiel had gotten a stone grey mare with black mane and tail. A beautiful creature. Castiel felt more comfortable than he had expected in the wide western saddle. He wandered with his mare, Jewel, around the paddock, practicing stopping, going and turning. Bela was a natural, proving quite flashy on a sleek black gelding. Luc and Raphael looked uncomfortable, but were holding their own.

"Alright folks," Dean called. "Follow me, stay on the trail, and let's have a fun, safe ride today. I'm taking you to two scenic points today. The first will take about fifteen minutes to get there. The second will take about twenty. We will be back to Angel's Landing in an hour."

They filed out of the paddock, the horses steady and reliable to the novice riders. Castiel watched as the scrub grass terrain quickly turned to reddish rock and dirt. 

As they filed along narrow passes, the path would open up suddenly, revealing a canyon that was deep and held layers of cliffs. His horse was sure and steady, allowing him to watch the scenery easily. 

As the group rode away from the first point, Dean came to walk beside him on Chopper.

"Morning, Cas."

Castiel grinned at the nickname. No one had ever called him that. Gabe called him Cassie when they weren't around their parents.

"Good morning, Dean," Castiel answered.

"Enjoying yourself?"

Castiel marveled at how close Chopper walked with Jewel, making Dean's knee lightly touch his several times.

"Immensely," Castiel grinned, blushing at the close proximity.

"Good. I don't think everyone in your group is having a good time."

"I'm so sorry for their behavior. They are..."

"I get it," Dean grinned. "This isn't a vacation for everyone."

"Oh, but it is so beautiful here."

"Yeah, sure is. My mom used to tell me that little boys play in sand boxes, making castles. And angels played here, making canyons."

Castiel laughed softly. "That's an interesting theory. I like it."

"Where's the stupid leader guy?" They heard Alistair complaining from ahead.

"Guess I better get up there," Dean said, steering away a bit and speeding up to assist Alistair.

At the second point, Castiel sat in wonder, staring down into a cavern of red and brown striated cliffs. Every time he changed angles, it was like a new view. The sight was beautiful. He missed Gabriel. As he looked around at the group, he could tell that they were not as impressed or observant in the raw, rugged beauty around them. Castiel walked his horse over to Dean's. 

"Sorry about my brothers. And the rest of them for that matter. I know they can be a bunch of assholes."

Dean laughed. "Don't worry about it, man. We get people like this from time to time. Just not usually so many at once."

Castiel grinned. Dean always had a way of putting him at ease. 

"Besides," Dean said quietly, "the horses tell me all I need to know. Look at Jewel's ears. They're out to the sides and her eyes are calm. She likes you, therefore, I know you are a decent person. Look at the other horses ears."

Castiel followed his gaze. The other horses ears twitched forward to back, pinning every so often. "What do the horses tell you about them?"

"That they're assholes." Dean winked at him and Castiel laughed.

As the board members finished taking photos, they began to wind their way back to the stables. The ride only took an hour. Castiel was sad to see it end. He had really enjoyed himself. He wondered if he could ever fit horseback riding into his insanely busy schedule back home. Doubtful.  
He was the last one still mounted and the others were heading back to the resort.

"Time to give her back," Dean called from beside him. He was standing on the ground and from Castiel's high perch on Jewel, looking down on him, Castiel wondered at his soft, pink lips. They looked absolutely delicious. 'Stop that. Don't look at his lips!'

Castiel dismounted and handed Dean the reigns. "Thank you, Dean." He glanced over his shoulder. "Thank you for handling the others so well. They are a difficult group."

"No problem." The pair held a gaze for a moment. Then Dean cleared his throat, looking at Jewel. "So, I'm training this new horse. I have to practice trail riding with her. Would you like to come along? I mean, since you had so much fun today."

Castiel could feel his face light up. "Yes! That would be great! When?"

"Tomorrow morning. Really early. Like six?" Dean said taking a few steps from Castiel.

"Okay. I'll be here."

Dean nodded and left with Jewel. Castiel headed for Angel's Landing. He was excited to ride again tomorrow. And to see Dean. 'No, just the horseback riding! You are such an idiot, Castiel!'

When he got to his room, Luc stood waiting at his door. "You are needed for a quick family meeting, little brother," Luc said, grin wide.

Castiel nodded, following Luc back to the meeting room. 

His father sat at the head of the table, Luc took the seat to his right, Raphael on his left. Castiel sat reluctantly next to Luc.

Raphael looked at their father. "All of Gabriel's assets have been frozen. He is no longer legally allowed in either of his homes and all his cars are being repossessed as we speak. Word of his drunken misbehavior at the retreat, resulting in his termination has already spread at the main company."

"Drunken misbehavior? Gabriel was not-"

"You are here to listen," Raphael said coldly.

Castiel sat back. The ruin of Gabriel Novak had begun. The spread of lies and rumors. The financial shut down.

Luc cleared his throat, "All passwords have been changed at work and home. His badges will not work at any location."

"And where has he gone?" Their father asked.

Raphael and Luc exchanged a glance. "No idea yet, father. But we will find him," Luc said firmly.

"Castiel," their father said, "if you know anything about where your brother has gone, it would behoove you to share any and all information."

Castiel squinted in thought. He had felt somewhat hurt that Gabriel took off and had not told him where he was going. Maybe this was why. For as impulsive and flippant as Gabriel could appear, he was extremely smart and cunning.

"I have no idea where Gabe is. But father, please be kind. He left because he, like me, want better health insurance coverage for our clients."

"YOU DO NOT RUN THIS COMPANY AND NEVER WILL!" Roared Raphael.

Castiel felt himself shrink into his chair.

Luc put an arm around Castiel's shoulders, leaning into his ear, making Castiel close his eyes and grit his teeth. He could feel the heat of Luc's breath into his ear as he said, "Behave now, little brother. You know you need to tell us all you know."

"I don't know anything!" Castiel said low.

"Nothing?"

"No."

Luc reached over and toyed with Castiel's earlobe. "If we find out you are protecting Gabriel -"

"I'm not."

"Or helping him,"

"I won't."

"Then you know what happens. Our youngest brother gets put up for closed adoption."

"I'm not helping him, Luc!" Castiel waved Luc's hand away from his ear and stood up. 

"If you help him in any way or do not report seeing or being contacted by him, little Jimmy goes away. And you will never find him, Castiel."

Castiel sat back down. He smoothed his face into a cold look. "Threaten all you want. I am not helping Gabriel."

All three men stared at him coldly.

"Are we done?" Castiel stood, his gaze locked on a random craggy cliff out the window.

"We're done," Luc said smoothly.

Castiel left the room, striding quickly out of the resort and down the lane toward the stable. How many times could they threaten to send Jimmy away? How long could they hold his little brother over his head? And they already worked so hard to turn him against Castiel. Not that it worked. 

He strode past the stables and back a lane that was hilly. He felt sick. Light headed even. He was glad for Gabriel's escape from their family, but now they had Castiel even tighter under their thumb. Defeated. Again.

"Hey there," came a woman's voice.

Castiel turned to see a red pick up truck sitting next to him in the lane. He had not even heard it approach.

"Y-yes?" He said.

"Need a lift son? This is private property back here. Hiking trail starts at the bottom of the lane." 

She was a beautiful blonde. She looked relaxed and not angry at Castiel for being where he should not be.

"I am so sorry. I just started walking..." Castiel began.

"No problem, hon. Can I give you a lift back?"

Castiel nodded and got into the truck.

"I'm Mary. My family runs this place."

"Nice to meet you, Mary. Is Sam your son then? I met him yesterday."

"Yep. That's my boy."

"He is very mature. He was the one who told me to walk back here. Sorry, I guess I got carried away."

"Those red cliffs will draw you in. Mind your feet when walking out here."   
Castiel smiled and nodded.

"You here with the business group?" She asked.

"Yes." Castiel grimaced at the disgust so easily heard in that one word. 'Pin your smile on, Castiel. They own you.' 

"Do you like the meeting room?" She asked softly.

"Oh yes. The view is amazing."

"I'm glad. Oh, I need to stop here a second," she said off handed, pulling over at the stable.

She rolled her window down and hollered, "Hey John, where's Dean?"  
A man with sharp eyes pointed to the stable.

She turned back to Castiel. "Want to come in the stable with me? I just need to give my son a message."

"Sure," Castiel said.

He followed her through a large sliding door that stood open at the end of the stable. The smell of sweet hay, horse, and leather filled Castiel's nose. 

The first six stalls on either side stood empty. They were clean and neat. The next ten on either side held horses. Some doors were closed, but most only had a rope across the door.

Castiel felt his heart flutter as Dean stepped out of a stall, small pitch fork in hand.

"Hey, Mom," Dean said, then catching sight of Castiel, his grin widened. "Hey, Cas."

"Hello, Dean," Castiel smiled back.

"The vet called. He will be here around 2:00 to look at Macey and the foals."

"Alright. Then tell Sam he needs to take the 1:00 group out."

"Will do."

"So, whatcha doin with Cas?" Dean asked.

"Oh," she smiled, "I found him walking back our lane."

Dean shook his head, grin playing across his mouth. "I take it your business retreat is still not going well."

"No," Castiel said, looking down the stable aisle to try to hide just how terribly it was going.

"Wanna help run feed for the cattle?" Dean asked, eyes the greenest Castiel had ever seen.

"Uh, sure, but I don't want to be any trouble."

"S no trouble. Glad for the company," Dean grinned.

"Well, you boys have fun!" Mary grinned, kissing Dean's cheek. "I'm off to Tropic for groceries."

Castiel watched as Mary left. "Your mother is very kind."

"Yeah," Dean said, busy scooping the last of the manure from the stall he was in.

Castiel edged closer to the stall door. "And I guess I met your brother yesterday. Sam?"

"Oh yeah? Nerdy kid, right?" Dean laughed good-naturedly.

"Very helpful kid," Castiel grinned.

Dean ducked the rope, coming out of the stall. He put the pitch fork away and wheeled the wheel barrow out into the aisle.

Castiel worried his hands, worrying that he was being a nuisance.

"Wait right there," Dean called, ducking into a doorway. He returned almost immediately, holding up a set of keys.

"Come on, Cas. Let's go feed some cattle."

Castiel could feel himself grinning. He followed Dean to a large white truck with hay piled in the bed.

The two men climbed inside the truck, Dean starting the engine. "So, I met your mom and your brother," Cas said, nerves easing a bit at Dean's relaxed posture and easy grin.

"My dad is John, ya probably passed him on your way into the stable, he was fixing a tractor. I have another brother, Adam. He's bringing cattle in from the western field. My mom's parents, Samuel and Deana run the resort."

"I met them too!" Cas grinned.

Dean nodded. "Then you know my whole family. Oh, you met my uncle Bobby. He runs the stables and I do all the work." He laughed and threw Castiel a wink.

"So, the only ones you haven't met are Adam and my aunt Ellen, Bobby's wife. You'll meet her if you go...well, hell, I might as well take you to meet her. Full package deal."

"No really," Castiel blushed, "I am being a total pain in your ass, I'm sure."

"No, no. Trust me. Ellen is pure gold. And you give me an excuse to take a break at lunch time."

Dean stopped the truck at a gate, hopping out. Castiel followed him.

"If you show me what to do, I can help," he offered.  
"You're all right, Cas." Dean showed him how to unlock the chain lock and swing the gate open. 

Dean moved the truck through and stopped, waiting for Castiel to jump back in the truck after shutting and relocking the gate.

"Man, I'm gonna get spoiled," Dean laughed.

"This is fun!" Castiel laughed.

Castiel opened three more gates along the way. Dean taught him how to throw hay bails into the fields getting the cows their meal. 

Last bail thrown and last gate locked, Castiel ran his forearm across his sweaty forehead. "You do this every day?" Castiel asked.

"Every day. Not so far out in winter."

Castiel pulled the leather work gloves off and laid them on the seat in between them. Dean pulled a red bandana out of his shirt pocket, handing it to Castiel.

"Thanks." He mopped his forehead and back around his neck. He was sure his unruly hair was everywhere. He huffed a laugh. "That was awesome!"

Dean grinned as the truck rumbled down route 12. "Did you good, I think. You look a lot better. I mean, more relaxed."

Dean turned into a small building Castiel never would have noticed along the road.

The sign above read, 'Harvelle's Roadhouse'.

"This is Ellen's bar. Been in her family for years. Come on in."

It was dim inside and cool. Music played softly in the background. Waylon Jennings, if Castiel had to guess.

"Hey, Ellen," Dean called to the lady standing behind the bar.

"Dean," she smiled.

Bobby came out from the back. "Hey, boy, what you doin loafin off in the middle of the day?"

"You leave that poor boy be," Ellen sassed him.

 

"Poor boy, my ass," Bobby grinned, slapping Dean on the back. They were gruff people, Ellen, Bobby and John. Castiel could see he got a bit of that from that family and the kind grin from his mother and those green eyes from his grandmother, Deana. Whom he must be named after. 

"Bobby, you remember Cas from this morning’s ride. Ellen, this is Cas."

"Nice to meet you, Cas." Ellen gave Dean a look. "You been workin’ the guests, Dean?" She said with an edge to it.

"Hey, Cas here is wound up tighter than a nine day clock. He offered, I took him along to feed cattle."

"Really," Cas defended quickly, "I had more fun today than I've had in years!"

Ellen nodded. "Alright then, what can I get ya?"

"Beer," Cas said.

"Same," Dean grinned.

Ellen poured two glasses and stepped away.

"She's a bit intimidating," Cas leaned over and whispered.

Dean chuckled. "Abso-friggin-lutely."

Castiel practically guzzled his beer sitting the glass down for more.  
"How old are you?" Dean asked.

"24. You?"

"21."

Castiel nodded. Ellen refilled his beer. "Any food, hon?"

"Best burgers anywhere," Dean whispered loudly.

"Burgers it is," Castiel grinned.

Ellen nodded, a lingering grin playing on her lips. "Comin’ up."

"So, you're the oldest of your brothers?" Cas asked.

"Yep. Sam is 17, leaving for college in a few weeks, and Adam is 13. I feel like you know my whole life story and I know nothin’ ‘bout you." Dean's green eyes ran down Castiel's neck and chest, returning to his eyes, one corner of his mouth lifting in a small grin. Castiel could not stop himself from doing the same. 

"My father runs the biggest health insurance company in the United States. My...I have three older brothers, Luc, Raphael, and Gabriel. I have one younger brother named Jimmy. He's only two."

"Huh, sounds like Jimmy was a surprise," Dean grinned.

"Yeah," Castiel said dryly. "We're all adopted. 'Bred for failure, raised to succeed', or so mother liked to say."

They sat quietly a moment, Ellen bringing their burgers and fries. 

"Your family sounds complicated," Dean said quietly.

"Yes. Very. So what's it like here during winter?" Castiel asked, relieved when Dean let the subject of his family drop and talked about how he had a small apartment in Arizona he lived in during winter months. Bobby ran the stables mostly then. All too soon, their burgers were gone. 

They waved goodbye to Ellen and Bobby as they left. The ride back was quiet but peaceful. Dean dropped Castiel off at the hotel in time for him to join the group hike. 

 

Two hours later, Castiel took a deep breath, slowing his breathing from a steep section of trail. The sun blazed and the heat felt heavy and dry. He could feel the effects of being at a high altitude in the mountainous area. He was currently overlooking a magnificent view. Only five other board members made it as far as he did.

"Came by your room earlier today," Bela said quietly next to him. "You were nowhere to be found."

Castiel took a small step away from her, which she quickly corrected. "I was busy. What did you need?"

"I was concerned for you," she grinned sticky, sickeningly sweet.

"No. You were not," Castiel said, making brief eye contact. "You wanted to know what was said at the meeting with my family."

She glanced at the canyon. "Did they talk about who they will replace Gabe with?"

Castiel shook his head. "Go away, Bela."

He took a last glance of the lonely beauty of the canyon and headed back down the trail. This section of canyon was at a lower elevation and a thin-treed forest covered the slopes. The petrified wood looked like trees frozen in time. Their brown bark hard as rock. He read the plaques explaining the phenomenon.

He zoned out the complaints and work talk, taking in the dried wood, cactus, wildlife, and the never ending colors. He ended the trail, sweating and exhausted. 

After a twenty minute ride in the van, where Castiel kept earbuds in and music playing to drown out his coworkers, he felt he had successfully dodged his brothers and coworkers.

Back at Angel's Landing, Castiel made his way to his room for a much needed shower. He dropped into bed that night, excited to see Dean in the morning. 'No, you're excited to go horseback riding! Dean has nothing to do with it.'

 

******************************************

 

The next morning, Dean made sure his saddle was clean and Chopper was brushed smooth until his coat shone. He wasn't sure why he liked this Cas guy so much. He was obviously a city boy. He wore sneakers to ride horses, dead giveaway you don't know shit about what you're doin. But hey, guests were guests. But after he saw the group of people Cas was with, he wanted to help the guy. It was like watching a lamb graze in a field of coyotes. And he was funny. And his eyes...'wait, what the fuck was that? His eyes! Okay, he had like crazy blue eyes or something. Whatever.'

Chopper tossed his head and whinnied. Dean turned to see Cas coming his way. Hair dark brown, almost black, jeans that hugged him just right. 

"Mornin, Cas," Dean called, drowning out his own thoughts.

"Hello, Dean," he said in a gravely voice that made Dean want to fuckin purr. Fuck. One look at him and Dean had to mentally kick himself to shut his thoughts down.

"I got Chopper all ready for you."  
"Oh, he's so...big! I hope I can handle him," Cas said looking at the horse in wonder. 

Dean had to stifle a slew of dirty jokes. 

"You'll do just fine, Cas. Chopper is the best. I, on the other hand, will be riding Trigger, who is new at trail riding. Things should be fine, but I like to have an extra pair of eyes in case things go sideways."

He chuckled at the nervous look on Cas' face. He had to chuckle. He was adorable. 'What the fuck? Adorable? Pull it together Winchester!'

"I thought Chopper wasn't for guests," Cas said, looking up at the saddle nervously.

"Well, guess you're a friend then," Dean grinned. Cas gave him a boyish smile that must have driven all the girls he went to school with crazy. 'Horses, Dean, think horses. Fuck.' "Chopper will take good care of you. Don't worry."

He gave Cas a leg up. He could have used a mounting block, but this way he got to touch him. He mentally scolded himself for his lingering grip on Cas' calf, but he did it anyway.

Dean focused on Trigger. His sleek dark brown coat shone glossy and smooth. He was in a good mood and Dean swung up to the saddle easily. At least he didn't look like an ass trying and failing to get on. Horses could do that to ya. 

They made their way down the trail by the lane. "You take the lead, Cas. Chopper knows where to go."

"Alright," Cas grinned.

Dean watched Cas in front of him. He was relaxed, letting his body move with the horse. "You're a natural rider, Cas," he called.

Cas turned his head and grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. 

Chopper lead them several miles before Trigger had had enough. He started to pull and kept stopping. This short piece of the trail was narrow, scaring the skittish young horse.

"Keep goin, Cas. Chopper is showing Trigger the trail is safe."

"Okay," Cas called, still turning to watch the battle of wills between Dean and Trigger. 

With coaxing, Trigger settled down and hurried through the narrow section catching up to Cas. The horse was huffing and sweating from his exertions so the pair stood there waiting for him to relax again.

"This is dangerous work," Cas said, worry twinging his brow. "It's an awful lot of responsibility for someone so young."

"Ha!" Dean laughed. "Tell that to my dad. If you ain't huntin’ and herdin’ on your own by the time you're ten, then there's something wrong with ya."

Cas shook his head, eyes moving out to the canyon view in front of them. It was craggy and sharp, with stone formations coming up from the canyon floor and walls that looked like spikes.

"This is Perdition. Legend says Indians would bring people here for punishment and pitch ‘em over."

"Nasty," Cas said.

Dean caught movement out of the corner of his eye and saw the snake before either horse had. He reached over, taking Chopper's reign. Cas gave him a startled look. "We gotta -"

Too late. Trigger saw it and began rearing and spinning. Chopper simply backed up closer toward the mountain and stood still, thank God. But Trigger was spooked good. "Whoa, boy! Easy, easy," he said as calmly as he could. He stopped rearing, huffing hard. Dean turned to see a wide eyed look of terror on Cas' face.

"Dean!"

"Are you okay, Cas?"

Trigger gave a mighty buck. With Dean twisted in the saddle, his balance and grip were not good enough. He went over Trigger's head, hitting the dirt hard.

"Dean!"

He scrambled in the loose sandstone and slid over the side of the cliff.

"Dean!" Cas screamed again.  
Dean scrambled to grasp anything he could on his slide down the cliff face. The brittle rock broke away letting him free fall for a few seconds before he landed on his back over several of the skewer-like rock formations of a ledge. He blinked his eyes hard, tasting blood in his mouth.

"Dean! Don't move! I'm coming!" Cas called.

"No!" Dean whispered, afraid breathing any harder might crack one of the skewers painfully holding him up.

He watched as Cas climbed down over the side, his feet finding purchase on a rim of stone. He wound his way down, rope in hands.

As Cas neared him, Dean whispered, " Cas what are you doing?"

"I tied this rope to Chopper's saddle. I'm going to tie it around you and have him pull you up."

"Okay," Dean whispered, desperate for anything to work.

Near enough finally, Cas tested his weight on one of the spindles. "Cas, don't get hurt, don't! Go back up!"

Cas frowned. "Like hell."

"This is hell. It is. Don't fall, Cas!"

Dean felt Cas' hands working under his back. Flipping the rope to loop around his torso.

"Is your back okay, Dean?"

"I'm such an idiot for bringing you here."

"Dean," Cas put his hand firmly on Dean's upper arm, do you think you have a back injury?"

Dean looked into Cas' calm blue eyes. "No, I don't think so."

"Okay," his hand squeezed a bit tighter. "I have you. Dean, look at me."

The command in Cas' voice made Dean snap his eyes to Cas' immediately.  
"I have you."

"Okay," Dean barely whispered. 

Cas tied the rope just under Dean's arms, knotting it.

"Okay," Dean said softly, "moment of truth." 

Dean grasped the rope with two hands, yanked it and yelled, "Walk on!"  
He sat up as the rope pulled from the unseen horse over the cliff. 

Cas' grip on his upper arm was iron clad. He maneuvered himself back off the spire he was holding and onto the rim, guiding Dean's now suspended body toward him. Cas latched onto him with both arms, pulling him flush against him onto the rim of the cliff, the rope still suspending him just over the rim Cas stood on.

"Personal space, Cas," Dean laughed weakly as he gripped ahold of Cas' shoulders.

"You want some space?" Cas laughed back, eyebrows raising.

"No, no. This is good man, I was kiddin'."

Cas put both arms more comfortable around Dean's middle, hands pressing his back into him. Dean could feel every bit of the front side of Cas' body. Try as he might, he still could not catch his toes on the ledge to help the slow journey up the thin rim. 

"Gotta say," Dean laughed, "last time I was this close to someone, I got laid." 'Damn my stupid sense of humor! Who says that? At a time like this? I'll be lucky if he doesn't shove me overboard right now!'

Dean watched as Cas flushed and for the first time since all this happened, broke out into a sweat. 

"Days not over yet," he grinned. 

Dean laughed it off, but their mouths were close enough to kiss. He could feel the smooth skin of his freshly shaven face.

Chopper took steps every so often, inching them further and further along the rim. They stopped at one point, both men huffing from exertion.   
Dean could not even help it, he leaned his head down onto Cas' shoulder, slumping slightly into him.

"Dean?" Cas whispered, his hand coming up, fingers running into his hair. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," he said faintly, wanting to freeze this moment forever. Soaking in the feeling of someone holding him tight. He realized that the grip felt more like an embrace than a desperate hold. 

"We're almost there," Cas said with such gentle kindness, his hand sliding down the back of his head again.

"I'm good," Dean said, taking a deep breath and feeling the rope pull again.  
Back to the cliff edge where Dean had slid off the edge, the rope disappeared over the top. Finding hand-holds, Dean climbed as Chopper pulled, finally cresting the edge back onto the trail. He stayed on his knees, throwing the rope down to Cas.

He climbed up easily, crawling over the edge. On hands and knees, the pair eyed each other.

"Damn, that was close," Dean said.

"Yeah. You scared the shit outta me," Cas said. 

Adrenalin fading, heart beats slowing, Cas sat hard on his butt, slumping against a boulder. Dean sat heavily where he was. Both heaved in a breath of air, glancing at each other.

"You okay?" Cas asked, his voice catching and his eyes looking red and watery. 'Oh, Jesus, don't cry dude. I'm gonna lose my shit if you cry.'

"M ok," he nodded vigorously. "M good."

He slid back against the boulder, tight against Cas, still feeling the pull of the cavernous space mere inches away.

Cas slid his hand into Dean's, squeezing it tight. "I thought..." 

"I'm good," Dean said, it coming out breathy.

"It all happened so fast," Cas all but whispered.

"You thought fast. You saved my life," Dean said, squeezing his hand back. "You did good." 'I'm holding a dudes hand. Handholding is a natural reaction, right? I mean, I just almost died! I'm just comforting him.'

Their eyes locked, Dean recognized a look of plea in his eyes. He was holding a dudes hand. Aw, shit.

Cas blinked first, dropping his gaze and his chin. He squeezed his hand once more and let it go. 

They both turned, hearing slow clopping noises of a horse. Chopper rounded the bend, riderless and the rope still tied to the horn of his saddle.

"That is one good horse," Cas grinned, laughing softly.

"Best fucking horse in the world," Dean laughed.

They both put their heads back against the Boulder until their laughs died off.

"Dean," Cas said softly. "Let me see your back. I know you're bleeding somewhere."  
"Yeah," Dean winced, taking in three particularly sore spots on his back. Warm stickiness soaked a section of his shirt. He pulled the button-down off gingerly, taking in the bloody handprint Cas left on the arm of one sleeve. 

Shirt off, he scooted forward. "How bad is it?"

"Not as bad as I feared," Cas said. "These two," Dean felt the softest touches from Cas' fingers near two of the sore spots, "are going to bruise pretty bad. This one is bleeding still."

"I'll live," Dean said, picking up his shirt to put it back on.

"Wait," Cas said, stopping him. "I can at least clean it. Do you have a first aid kit?"

"Saddle bag," Dean said, choking on the word with Cas being so close, touching him. 

He watched as Cas got to his feet and walked over to Chopper, praising him with pats and gentle talk that made Chopper toss his head. He got the kit and came back, kneeling down behind him. 

Cas got to work with his own bandana, wiping the blood away. One hand grasped Dean's upper arm while the other worked tenderly to wipe away the mess.

"This might sting," he said in that gravely voice that dropped every now and then. Dean bit down a wince as an antiseptic wipe lightly grazed an area the size of a tennis ball. He listened as Cas began to open gauze and tape the area.

'What a fucking mess. Dad would kill me if he knew I put a guest through this kind of shit. It coulda been Cas. He coulda fallen. He coulda died. And fuck...his hands feel so good.'

Dean dropped his chin down to his chest, clenching dirt in his fists, trying to shut his thoughts out.

"Dean," Cas whispered. "You're okay." Cas was beside him, still on his knees, one hand still hot as a poker grasping his upper arm.

Dean opened his eyes. For years he had thoughts of moments like this. The right guy at the right time. No one around. No one would see. No one would know.

He turned his head to the side, opening his eyes slowly, catching Cas' blue eyes blazing in the morning sun. Concern slid away the longer their gaze held.

"You coulda got hurt, Cas. I'm so sorry."

Cas grinned, looking away for only a second. "I'm sure you planned for a snake to scare the shit out of your horse and throw you into Perdition."

"No," Dean whispered.

Cas held his gaze again. "I'm just glad we're alright."

Dean watched with growing heat in his loins as Cas' pupils dilated. Their breaths synced and grew a bit faster. 'God, I wanna kiss him. I wanna kiss him so bad. Those lips. I could. No one would know. No one but Cas. And -'

Cas broke the gaze again, reaching for Dean's hand. Dean looked down. He was still squeezing a fist full of dirt, his palm cut open slightly from small rocks in the sandy ground. 

"Dean," Cas said, pulling his hand up and opening it, brushing out the dirt and squinting in thought. He looked back up at Dean. Dean instinctually released his other death grip of rock and sand, wiping it on his thigh.

"It's okay," he half grinned at Cas.

"I know," Cas said. He leaned in, closing the few inches of space between the two. His lips pushed onto Dean's, warm and salty.

Dean pulled back. 'Fuck! I really did it. I just kissed a dude. I...'

Dean saw the immediate trepidation on Cas' face. 

"Sorry," Cas said so small. 

"Naw," Dean whispered. When Cas' eyes flicked back to his, Dean was lost in them. Gone. 

With one dirty, bloody hand, Dean cupped the back of Cas' head, pulling him in. This time he was ready. He kissed him slow. Cas slid closer, kissing harder, pushing those soft lips into his even firmer. Dean pulled him in tighter, wrapping his other arm around his back. Cas complied so willingly. Dean could feel his dick firming in his pants. He moved slightly to make room for the expansion and gasped when Cas wrapped a leg around him, straddling his lap.

"Damn," Dean gasped.

Cas pulled back, almost all the blue gone from his eyes, lips wet and parted as he breathed just as heavy as Dean.

Without a word, Cas leaned back in, running both his hands into Dean's hair and kissing him harder still. Dean turned his head, angling better and opened his mouth, letting Cas in. 

Every pent up emotion in Dean let loose. He grabbed Cas' hips, pulling him down harder on top of him. He fought his way into Cas' mouth, needing more. Needing everything. 

"You fuckin’ scared me," Cas said, lunging back into Dean.

"You fuckin’ scared me too," Dean said.

Cas pulled away from Dean's mouth, sliding down his chin and onto his neck.

"Cas," Dean moaned.

"Mmmm," was all he got in response with biting, kissing reverence.

Biting?

Dean abruptly pulled Cas back. Startled blue eyes met his. "You can't leave any marks on me, man. No one can know."

A look of shame crossed Cas' face. "Okay. You're right. Sorry."

"I'm sorry. It's just...no one here can know." Dean dropped his chin.  
Cas tipped his chin up to meet his gaze. "My family can't know either. I'll be kicked out this time."

"This time?" Dean quirked.

Cas blushed. "When I was seventeen, I got caught making out with a guy in my car. Luc caught me. It was pure hell for awhile. My parents are very religious."

Dean grimaced just thinking about Cas being in any kind of negative situation. "Your family are assholes," he said, running his hands up Cas' sides.

Cas grinned. "Yours too?"

"Just my dad. My grandfather too," Dean said, feeling Cas' taut frame on top of him, his growing bulge pressing into Cas', making it terribly hard to think. "Dad caught me staring at this guy...a guest...and beat the shit out of me for 'thinkin’ ‘bout it'. Said I was...a lot of things."

"You are a lot of things," Cas said, practically panting. "You are so fuckin’ hot."

Dean felt his whole body spasm at the compliment. He gave Cas a suspicious look. 'Is he messin with me? Did Dad set up a trap?'

Cas gave him a quizzical look that quickly heated. He put his hands on Dean's bare chest, making him gasp slightly. "Cas."

"You're a freakin’ cowboy. Hat, horse, chaps," each word was followed by a kisses that grew in intensity, "boots, Spurs, did I say chaps?"

Dean laughed as Cas ran kisses back his neck, making him grab Cas tight to stop tickling him.

"Dean," Cas said, "is there any way we can meet later? I just..."

Their mouths drew together again. They kissed hard, hands feeling each other.

'He wants to meet later! Where? How? I should say no. I should stop this now. We just kissed. I could still walk away from this. I can still be straight. Dad never has to know about this.'

Cas' hand slid down his thigh and back up. The weight of him on his lap, pressing down on him. Fuck it. This feels better than anything I've ever done. I want him more than I've ever wanted someone before.'

"Yeah, meet me at the stable at 9:00 tonight," he said.

They kissed again and pulled apart, Cas getting to his feet and pulling Dean up.

"You might wanna," Cas said, voice cracking, "put your shirt back on."

Dean smiled at him smugly. This dude thought he was hot. He looked at wrecked as Dean felt inside. So, the cowboy thing really did work. Not just on chicks anyway. 

Chopper stood patiently waiting. Cas hoisted himself up, and held a hand out to Dean. Dean grinned again. Trigger was no where to be seen and Dean was already feeling sore. He gently pulled Cas' foot out of the stirrup, putting his leg ahead of it so Dean could shove his own booted foot in and hoist himself atop. He settled behind the saddle, wishing with all his might they had ridden bareback so he could sit tight against Cas. Better not though. His hands rested lightly on Cas' hips and he could see the blush still spread on Cas' cheeks. "Lead the way," Dean said, his voice coming out low and scratchy.

Cas put the reigns into one hand and let his other hand drift down to settle over Dean's hand. 

They found Trigger waiting just before a section of narrow trail.

Dean squeezed Cas' hips lightly and he dismounted. He did not miss the frown on Cas' face.

"Atta boy, Trigger, you're gonna be alright," Dean laughed, swinging up.  
"Lead us back, Cas!" Dean called.

Cas grinned, taking the trail ahead of him.

Dean could not believe that he had kissed him. Had his hands on that body. And Cas wanted him. Wanted him pretty bad, if the bulge in his pants earlier was not a friggin’ Magnum flashlight. 'What are ya doin Winchester? You gonna actually do something about this guy? Like...do this guy? You don't even know what the hell you're doin.'   
The memory of a disgusted look on his father's face loomed in his mind. 

Dean sighed heavily. He was an adult. Maybe it was time to let himself have what he wanted, rather than what his family wanted for him.

 

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

Castiel kept his head down and his opinions to himself through the meeting that morning. He had been late, which got him enough scathing looks to make his morning glow die down. But as he settled behind his laptop, Raphael going on and on about some medicine that would no longer be covered by their insurance, Castiel relived the mornings events over and over. Only the good parts. Like Dean's green eyes, his rough, calloused hands, his mouth. He had been almost timid. But once he had taken a step, Dean had reciprocated even stronger. 

"Would you agree?" Raphael's question rung loudly through the room.  
Castiel jerked his head up. "Yes," he answered, having no clue what he was agreeing to.

"Really," contemplated Luc, eying him.

"Would it matter if I did not agree?" Asked Castiel, giving Luc a hollow look.

"Mmm," Luc contemplated.

The meeting wrapped up with events strung throughout the day.   
By 9:00, Castiel was squirming to get away from the group. Finally, he made his break for it. He slipped out the side door of the resort and walked as quickly as he could up the lane toward the stable. It was dark out. The wind blowing was hot and dry. Castiel's hopes sank when he saw the stable was dark and locked up. He looked at his phone to see the time. 9:21. Shit!

Hearing a whistle from nearby, he saw Dean was sitting in a truck. He went straight for him, approaching the open driver's window.

"Sorry, I had trouble getting away."

"No problem," Dean grinned a bit tighter than his usual easy smile. "Hop in."

A thrill of anticipation raced up Castiel’s spine as he rounded the truck. He tried not to let his excitement show who readily. Part of him was a mite apprehensive to leave in a truck with a man he really didn’t know. It was all so out of the norm for him. 

As they left Angel's Landing property, passing under the gateway with the CW, Cas asked, "What does the CW stand for?"

"Campbell, Winchester. My mother's parents, Deana and Samuel are the Campbell's. My dad's parents were the Winchesters. They went together when my parents were just kids and started the construction for what is now Angel's Landing, the stables and the cattle ranch."

Cas grinned.

"What's got you grinnin’ like that?" Dean asked, smiling slightly.

"Nothing," Cas grinned wider. "Well, your name. It's Dean Winchester. It's just so...cowboy. So...it's a great name."

Dean snickered. "Well, there's a new one. Never been complimented on my name before."

"Really? Well, it's quite rugged. I like it."

They exchanged blushing smiles, Dean relaxing a bit. "So, what's your first name again?"

"Castiel. It's an angel name. My parents are, were religious nuts. My brothers all have angel names. Lucifer, Raphael, Gabriel, and me."

"Well, I like Castiel. It's different. And now that I know I'm dealing with an angel, I feel a little safer. Or...dirtier, I'm not sure." They both laughed. "What about the little one? Jimmy?"

"Mm, James. He...his mother named him that. It stayed even with the adoption. My mother was not pleased."

Dean gave him a slightly quizzical look, but asked no more.

Twenty minutes down the road, silence growing between them, Castiel worked up the nerve to ask, "Where are we going?"

"Just up the road to a quiet spot I like."

"I...are you okay with this? With hanging out with me again? Please don't feel obligated."

Dean threw him a raised eyebrow. "Cas, I don't do anything like this for other guests. I want you to know that." He turned off route 12 and headed up a windy narrow lane. "In fact, I don't really know what the hell I'm doin. I mean...I don't..."

"Make out with guests," Cas offered.

"Well," Dean stammered, pulling the truck to a halt at a small stone building.

"Make out with guys," Cas supplied.

"Right."

Cas sighed. "There's no pressure here, Dean. We can just...talk or enjoy the view."

"Or drink. And enjoy the view."

They both got out of the truck and Cas followed Dean into the squat stone building that appeared to be somewhere between a ruin and usable.

Dean lit a lantern.

"Is that a real lantern?" Castiel asked, snickering.

"As opposed to..." Dean quirked.

"I just never actually saw a real lantern that people use." He marveled at the flame enclosed in glass. Dean showed him how to make it dim and then bright. It was quite entertaining for a moment. 

Schooled in the art of lantern use, Castiel looked around the tiny dwelling. Three narrow bunk beds were set into the thick stone walls. The blankets and pillows were mismatched and some were pretty thread bare. A wooden table sat in the middle with benches on two sides and a chair at either end. No running water and no electricity. It was rustic to say the least. A wooden cupboard stood close to the only door.

"This used to be a hunting lodge they used a long time ago. It's halfway between Escalante and no where," Dean said as he opened the cupboard and pulled out a jar.

Castiel was surprised to see the cupboard was full of jars of food and liquid. 

"What is that?" Castiel asked, looking at the clear jar of liquid in Dean's hand.

"Moonshine," Dean grinned. "Home brew liquor, my friend. Higher alcohol content and better flavor than anything you can buy at the store."

Dean reached up to a shelf above the cabinet and pulled down two small glasses.

"Drink?" Dean asked sitting on one of the benches and twisting the lid off the mason jar.

"Sure," Castiel said, sitting across from him. The heat from the morning seemed to be gone from Dean. Castiel wondered if maybe it had just been a heat of the moment thing. 

Dean poured two drinks and they each downed the shots.

"It tastes like apple pie," Castiel marveled, looking at the jar in wonder. "That's incredible."

"Not all the best things come from the city," Dean said snidely.

"I know," Castiel said soberly. "I'm not like my brothers, Dean."

Dean made a slight grimace. "I know, Cas. Sorry. I'm just nervous. I say stupid things when I'm nervous."

Castiel nodded, watching Dean's tight shoulders.

"I'm sorry if I read you wrong this morning," Castiel said quietly. "But I sincerely hope I did not."

Dean licked his lips, biting his bottom one. "Cas, I spend 99% of my time in a place I don't want to be. Don't get me wrong. I love it here. I love the land. I love the horses. But I get no say. I'm just born into a family business. It's here ya go, life all planned out for ya."

"Do you want to leave?"

"Yeah! Yes, I want to leave. I want to see the world before I'm so rooted down I can't see past my own property lines. But, I don't hate it here."

"I understand," Castiel nodded, sliding his glass over for a second drink. 

"Bet you've been around," Dean said, smirking and pouring them both another shot.

"I have traveled. I go to LA a lot to see Gabriel, my brother. I travel for work. I have been very lucky."

They slid glances across each other.

"But I do not have grandparents. And I do not have parents that love me. I never did. My brothers and I were all adopted. We were 'pulled from nothing' and were 'expected to become something'." Castiel air quoted, making Dean grin.

"Stepford family," Dean asked.

"Yes. Uptight. Religious to a fault yet some of the most evil people I have ever known."

"Damn, that's pretty heavy," Dean said, sipping his shot.

"I'm not allowed to be who I want to be. I'm not allowed to work anywhere but for my family's business. I'm not allowed to be gay." Castiel put his face in his hands, heaving a sigh.

"You are an adult," Dean said gently, "Why don't you just leave?"

"I can't." Castiel knew it came out bitter and angry. There was no way he was telling Dean the reason he was so trapped. How his family controlled his life. He was ashamed, for one. And it did not seem that Dean Winchester was in this for the relationship, even if they were talking first. There was a distance to him that was not there this morning. 

He looked up to find Dean watching him closely. "It's a long story. One I am not very proud of. And I really do not want to talk about it."

"Okay," Dean shrugged.

Cas downed the rest of his shot, feeling the warm tingle down to his stomach. A heaviness sat on his shoulders and he swung his leg over the bench to stand up. He was already feeling the effects of the shots.

"Moonshine," he marveled.

"Good, isn't it," Dean said, grinning.

"Very. I love apple pie," Castiel said, grinning stupidly.

"Me too," Dean grinned back. "So, how much longer you gonna be here?"

"At Angel's Landing?" Castiel asked. He dropped onto the bench next to Dean, back against the table and elbows propped on it, legs extending into the small room. "I only booked us for a long weekend. We leave tomorrow morning."

Dean nodded, looking down at his thin layer of moonshine in his glass and drank it. "Wish you were staying longer, Cas."

Warmed by that, Castiel blushed. "Me too. Had I known the staff was so great, I would have booked a month."

Dean's green eyes squinted with his grin. "A month, huh?"

Castiel could feel his skin flush all over and his heart rate quicken. "Maybe I should look into a seasonal pass."

Both men chuckled and Dean lifted one leg over the bench so he was straddling it, facing Castiel. Castiel was feeling a warm buzz from the moonshine and a slight blush tinged Dean's cheeks.

Never before had Castiel been able to stare into someone's eyes with such intensity. Normally he had difficulty even making eye contact with someone he found attractive. 

"How's your back?" Castiel asked.

"Fine. You didn't tell anybody I was stupid enough to put you through all that this morning, did ya?"

Castiel smirked. "No, Dean. No one knows."

Dean dropped his gaze, blushing harder. "I just mean the trail ride. My dad already thinks I'm an idiot. If he found out...there'd be hell to pay."

The look of hurt that shifted across Dean's face shattered any reserve Castiel had. In that moment Dean looked so young. It reminded Castiel that he was a few years older. And what little experience he had, was more than Dean seemed to have. But he seemed eager enough this morning.

Castiel put his hand on Dean's forearm, squeezing softly.

"Do you want to take me back to the hotel now?" Castiel asked, giving Dean one last out.

His green eyes raised to his with a look of longing. "No."

"Okay," Castiel grinned. "Just...tell me to stop if you want me to."

Dean licked his lips quickly, looking a mixture of worried and determined. "Quit makin me feel like a girl."

"Sorry," Castiel laughed, knowing Dean the little he did, he understood his use of digs as nervous humor.

Castiel had never before been the one that was more forward. It was new territory to him. He sat forward, sliding his hand down to Dean's hand, squeezed it slightly, then let his hand go back to his shot glass. "One more shot, Cowboy?" Castiel grinned.

"How bout half. Don't want ya too drunk," Dean laughed nervously.

Cas nodded, watching Dean pour them each another half shot. Castiel slid his shot glass over, clinking it to Dean's. They both took a small sip.

"You never banged any chicks in here, did you?" Castiel asked, snickering.

Dean's eyes widened briefly. "No. Never brought anybody here before."

"But you have slept with someone before?" Castiel asked, knowing he was being pushy for information, but inhibitions were down and time was short.

"Yeah. Enough that people here don't think I'm, well, you know. How bout you?"

"Yes. Twice. But I have never been all the way with a guy."

Dean nodded. His confidence seemed to grow more. His shoulders relaxed and he let out a breath. 

Castiel watched as Dean's eyes darkened from grassy green to forest green. Birds and bugs made night sounds just beyond the door, but that was the only sound. 

"I never met someone who made me feel so hot in an instant," Castiel heard himself say. He blushed at his own forwardness.

Dean slid his arm over slightly, his hand dropping off the table and onto Castiel's thigh. Castiel's eyes followed the trail Dean's hand blazed onto his leg. Knee almost to crotch, his hand slid slow and steady. Castiel let out a breath, looking back up at Dean. His eyes were closed, still straddling the bench, one hand rested on his knee and a look of pure want made Castiel let out a slow breath. 

Castiel's eyes drifted shut and his head dropped back as Dean's hand kneaded the inside of his thigh from. He rolled his head slightly, looking at Dean again. His eyes were still closed. Castiel knew he needed to make a move. But what? What if he freaked him out?

He leaned closer to Dean, careful to not disturb the attention his leg was getting.

"Dean," Castiel whispered, breaking the spell, Dean's eyes flew open and his hand stopped moving. "You are so handsome. And you have beautiful eyes."

Before Dean could argue or reply, Castiel closed the small distance between them, kissing him. Dean kissed him, strong, firm, then relaxed a bit, pulling him closer.

"Come closer," Dean whispered.

Castiel stood, taking Dean's hand and pulled him up gently. "Come over here."

He led Dean to one of the more comfortable looking bunks and he crawled onto it. Dean sat, hesitated a second, then laid down, turning to face Castiel.

No words needed to be spoken. There was obvious want in both their eyes. Castiel went up on one elbow, pushing Dean down gently into the mattress. He slowly unbuttoned Dean's shirt, looking over the lines of his body. When his slow, wandering gaze returned to his mouth, he leaned down and kissed him deeply. The last button opened, he slid his hand onto Dean's warm, smooth skin. As Dean gasped at the touch, Castiel slid his tongue deeper. Dean's hands seemed to come to life all at once. He pulled Castiel deeper, his tongue fighting its way back and Castiel's slow pace unleashing Dean's pushy side. He started pulling at Castiel's shirt, 

"Take it off," he commanded.

Castiel grinned, pulling back and pulling his shirt off, pitching it to the floor. 

He shivered as Dean's rough hands slid up his sides, over his chest and down to his hips, squeezing. "You are so fuckin’ hot," Dean whispered.

Castiel dipped his head, chasing Dean's mouth to attack it. While occupying his mouth, Castiel's hand slid down to Dean's waist. He thumbed at the heavy belt and waistband of the jeans. He explored the belt and waist while plying Dean's mouth with growing heat. Dean's hands ran up and down his back, sliding into his hair.

Castiel's hand slid past the belt, finding the long, hard cock he had felt pressed into his own that morning. Finding the bulge, he grasped it soft but firm and ran his fingers up and down slowly, feeling Dean's hips rise as he slid up and sink as he slid down.

"Uh, fuck," came a small whine from Dean as he tipped his chin up, his entire body reacting to his touch.

Castiel lifted his head, watching the ecstasy grow on Dean's face. He was taut and tight. His cock felt like concrete. 

"Cas," Dean murmured.

Castiel answered with hot, wet kisses on his neck and chest. His hand tightened, making Dean start to push into him harder. He was more than ready, just from a touch. The man was starved from what he wanted. And Castiel wanted nothing more than to give him whatever he wanted.

"You gotta stop," Dean said, grabbing Castiel's wrist firmly.

"But you like it," Castiel grinned, kissing his ear.

Dean pulled up, pushing Castiel onto his back and straddling him. "I'm not gonna last long if you keep touching me."

"This isn't going to last long," Castiel said, sliding Dean's shirt off and running his hands over his well-muscled shoulders.

Dean practically growled, his hands sliding down his abdomen and onto his jeans, feeling Castiel through his the denim layer.

"Dean," Castiel murmured, hips thrusting at his touch.

"Yeah," Dean said, lips wet from kissing. His eyes were fixed on the bulge he was rubbing. 

"Dean," Castiel said low, "kiss me."

Dean's eyes returned to his, molten hot and determined. As the green disappeared under his lashes, their mouths made love. Castiel's hands went to Dean's belt, unbuckling it. Dean hesitated and Cas took a breath, pushing Dean's button open. His mouth dropped to Castiel's neck, making him arch up into Dean. He tugged the zipper and dug through the boxers, his fingers making contact with hot, silky skin.

"Uhh, fuck," Dean moaned, his mouth sliding up onto Castiel's ear. "Fuck, that feels so fucking good." 

Every word made Castiel shiver and his own cock pulse.

"Sit up, Dean," Castiel managed, foggy headed.

Dean's mouth pulled away and he sat, his hand rubbing Castiel firmer.

Castiel unbuttoned his own pants and pulled the zipper down. Dean flicked   
his hand away as he fished into Castiel's boxer briefs, his fingers finding what it sought, making Castiel jerk his hips up and grind it into Dean's hand.

Dean watched in wonder as the other man's cock moved around in his hand.

Need took over.

"Dean," Castiel said, their eyes locking. Dean leaned back down and whined into Castiel's ear when the two cocks pressed into each other. Castiel grasped them both, pumping firmly.

"Oh fuck," Dean said loudly.

"You got a dirty mouth, Dean Winchester," Castiel panted.

"You make me," Dean panted back, pumping into Castiel's hand. "Aw, Cas, you feel...you feel so good."

Castiel spit in his hand, giving them some needed lubricant as he squeezed the two cocks together, working them up and down.

Dean's forehead landed sweaty onto Castiel's.

"You feel so good," Castiel panted. "So fucking big. Can't imagine what it would feel like inside me."

"Ohhhh," Dean moaned, pumping his hips faster.

"I wanna make you come," Castiel gritted into Dean's ear.

"Fuck," Dean swore, taking Castiel's mouth and pumping hard.

Warm, wet seeped onto Castiel's hand as cum leaked from both of them, lubricating his hand to slide on their dicks. Castiel's hand flew faster, thumb running over the tips of their heads.

"I'm gonna," Dean heaved.

"Yeah, so fucking hot," Castiel moaned, pushing his hips up into Dean's and thrusting in sync. 

Dean froze momentarily, growled and ground down into Castiel. "Oh God."

"You better fuckin’ come, cowboy," Castiel gasped.

Dean roared, hips pumping fast and they were both pulsing white ropes of cum. They pumped and jerked, gasped and Dean collapsed on top of Castiel.

"Oh, Cas. I can't even think."

He ran his hand through Dean's soft hair, pulling his other hand wet with semen out from between them, wiping it on the blanket before sliding his hand into Dean's back pocket, squeezing his firm ass.

"Don't think. Just breath."

Eventually, Dean slid over, allowing Castiel to take in a full breath of air. 

They felt each other gently, not hurried. 

"Guess that doesn't quite count as sex. Sorry," Dean said.

Cas took Dean's chin in his hand, making him look him in the eyes. "It was perfect. You drive me absolutely insane."

Dean laughed, laying his head on his shoulder and settling down beside him. 

"You make me crazy too, Cas." Dean's fingers toyed lazily over Castiel's chest. "I don't ever want to move. I don't want this to end."

"Me either. I don't want to go," Cas said, kissing Dean's hair.

They laid there, touching and holding each other for over an hour before either one had the gumption to sit up and start moving. Dean crawled over top of Castiel, kissing him as he got out of bed. He buttoned his pants, catching Castiel watch him with hungry eyes.

"We gotta go," Dean said low.

Cas sat up. He stood, adjusting his own pants and fastening them. 

A chill had set in. The ride back was quiet.

"What time do you leave?" Dean asked.

"Nine," Castiel said.

"Dean, I wrote my cell number down and put it in your glove. You can call me any time."

"I don't have a cell. No reception around here."

Cas nodded.

"But I'll try to call, okay."

Cas nodded again.

The truck pulled into Angel's Landing entrance and came to a stop. 

Castiel's lips moved, but no words came out. 

"Dean," Cas whispered.

"It was awesome meeting you, Cas. Good luck in...where you from?"

"Chicago," Cas said, looking down at his hands. "If you ever want to come on vacation -"

"Ranchers don't get vacations, Cas," Dean said tightly, looking out the windshield.

Cas bit his lip and nodded. He opened the door and closed it behind him. Dean's rudeness was obviously a cover. Cas knew he was miserable. Just as miserable as he was. He walked into the lobby as the truck pulled away. It felt as though something tore away from him as the cowboy’s truck rumbled away. A cold stab of emptiness filled him. 

The doors to the resort seemed ten times heavier as he pulled one open to go inside. He looked up at the spirit horse and angel. The angel looked sad. Mournful.

Castiel left Angel's Landing the next morning at nine with the rest of his group. A new notch of defeat in his armor. A new hole in his heart. He made a mental note to never do a one night stand again. The weight was crushing.


	2. Home Again

Chapter 2. Home Again 

 

Castiel returned to Chicago with no Dean and no Gabriel. And no contact from either of them. Jimmy was the only bright spot in his life.

Four months later, Castiel was in bed when his cell phone rang. He gave it a cursory look and then saw the number was from Arizona.

He snatched the phone, swiping the screen.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Cas," came the deep, gravely voice he had longed to hear for so long.

"Dean! How are you?" He asked, blushing and immediately starting to pace around his apartment. 

"M good. Down in Arizona visiting a friend. How bout you?"

Castiel could hear bar or restaurant noise behind him. Dean sounded slow, like he had been drinking.

"I'm okay. Busy working. Ya know." He frowned at the floor. All he had wanted since he left Angel's Landing was to talk to Dean again. Now he had his chance and he was freezing up. 

"How's those asshole brothers of yours?"

"Still assholes," Cas laughed. "Are you out at a bar?"

"Yeah. Had some moonshine. Think of you every time I even smell it."

"Wish I had some right now," Cas grinned.

"Yeah? Why don't you fly over here and get some."

It was a loaded statement. Castiel palmed himself just hearing him say that.

"I will. Anytime."

Dean laughed. "You will?"

"I miss you, Dean."

"Yeah, me too."

A long silence ran between them.

"Let's make a plan. I'll come out west to see you," Cas offered.

"Yeah. Sounds good. But no. Better not."

"Why?" Cas asked, feeling tight in his chest.

"Because Cas...it's difficult. Just...never mind. I better go."

"Dean-"

"See ya round, Cas," Dean said with fake cheerfulness.

"Dean!" The line went dead. 

He called the number back, but no one answered. Then finally he got someone to pick up and they had no idea who Dean was and no one fit his description. 

Castiel dropped onto his sofa with a hollow stare. For one bright, glittering moment, he was there. Dean. Dean Winchester. Star of all his fantasies. Leading man of all his daydreams.

He had talked himself into the mindset that Dean only wanted one night from him. All his heavily hammered thoughts were now suddenly up in the air. He would not have called if he didn’t care. 

At the very least, he was still thinking of him. He had kept his number. He thought of him when he drank moonshine.

Castiel’s heart thudded in his chest as he stared at the buildings outside his living room window. All he saw were red cliffs.

A wobbly smile tipped his lips. Dean had called.

 

At Christmas, Cas called Angel's Landing. No answer. Shut down for winter. He was on the website and made a reservation for himself in May. It was the first week they were open. He put in for the time off and said not another word to anyone.


	3. Holiday

Chapter 3. Holiday 

 

Castiel jumped hurdle after hurdle to get out of work. He had to fly to LA for a meeting and then flew into Salt Lake City Utah. He rented a jeep and made the trek alone. For as lonely as Castiel often felt, he hardly ever had time to himself. At the first sight of red cliffs, a flood of memories came back to him. Dean and horseback riding, Bryce Canyon with his stuck up brothers and the other board members. Their board member trip this year was booked for a resort in the Bahamas. Per usual, he was dreading it. 

The past year without Gabriel had been daunting. He had no back up in board meetings and had no say in family matters. To make matters worse, he had not heard from Gabriel since he was last at Angel's Landing. He prayed Gabriel was out there somewhere happy. But not actually knowing was slowly wearing him down. 

He had kept himself busy with Jimmy since the last time he was in these canyons and mountains. Jimmy was three now, and Castiel had taken it upon himself to do as many activities as he could with him. One of those was horseback riding. They had to drive out of the city every two weeks so Jimmy could ride the small ponies and Castiel could learn to ride better. It was his only connection to Dean. 

Dean was never far from his thoughts. He dreamt about him sometimes. Dreams that had him bolting upright in fear, reaching out and missing as Dean would fall over the cliff edge at Perdition. Dreams that Dean hated him, scorned him, making him wake up in tears and leave a bitter self-loathing taste in his mouth for days. Dreams that woke him up hard as a board and coming with barely a touch, leaving scenes of sex in the stable or sex in his truck lingering for hours. Dean haunted his steps and his nights.

Castiel HAD to do something.

As he turned onto route 12 and began the long, winding drive toward the resort, he wondered if Dean ever thought about him. Would he be angry when he saw him? Would he refuse to speak to him? Maybe he had left. But Castiel had no other way to find out than to go to the resort. 

By the time he walked through the lobby doors, it was dark and route 12 had been a nail-biting set of long turns for over an hour. He smiled when Mary came out of the back door, stepping up to the counter.

"Hello, welcome to Angel's Landing," she smiled sweetly.

"Hello, Mary," he said, sitting his wallet on the high counter.

She studied him a little. "I see you left your large group elsewhere this year."

"Yes." He pulled out his credit card. "They did not appreciate the surroundings here as much as I did."

She took his card and busied herself at the computer. 

"Did Sam get off to college?" Castiel asked, his nerves growing ever more fidgety.

Mary beamed at that. "Yes he did! He comes home next week."  
"That's great!" Castiel took his card back. 

"Did you book some horseback riding again? If I remember correctly, you and my son Dean went on several rides."

Castiel could feel himself blushing and tried valiantly to make his blood vessels relax. "Yes. Tomorrow."

"Wonderful!" She was watching him closely. Castiel had the sinking suspicion that she knew something. 'Maybe Dean confided in his mother. Maybe she knows. Maybe I will make things worse for Dean. Maybe I should just go. If he had wanted to see me, he would have called. I should leave. In the morning. I'll leave in the morning.'

"Enjoy your stay, Mr. Novak," she smiled.

"Thank you."

 

After a long night of tossing and turning, Castiel got up early, showered, and sat on the edge of the bed. His suitcase was arguing with him on whether or not to stay when he hung his head and held his phone limply in his hands. "Gabriel, I wish you were here right now. I could really use your advice."

Finally, he stood up and got dressed. He knew what Gabriel would say. 'Go get 'em little bro!'

He put boots, jeans and a t-shirt on. It was a big move to just show up in Dean's home. But he was here and chances were, his mother may have already told him he was here. With a heavy sigh, he went down to the lobby and got a cup of coffee and headed down the back lane toward the stables. It was not quite 7:00 and there was little activity going on. As he went inside the wide open door at the end of the stable, the aisle was clear and clean. Sweet hay and horse smells filled his nose. He passed some empty stalls and stopped at a stall that had a familiar face sticking out. 

"Hey there, Chopper," Cas patted the horse and let him smell his hand. His big brown eyes were warm and he nudged Cas' hand for more petting.

Castiel's heart nearly stopped when he heard Dean's voice coming from a tack room. It was gruff and short. But Cas did not know who he was talking to.

"Dad said you would feed the cattle in the west fields!" Said a skinny kid of about 14 as he walked out of the room.

"Fine, Adam. But only this week. And tell Ash to bring the cattle in by Friday."

"Yeah, okay," the teen said, seeing Cas as he walked out of the barn.

Cas waved, still petting Chopper. Adam nodded at him and smiled. 'That must be Dean's youngest brother.'

Cas looked around as the stable grew silent. No one else seemed to be around. As the minutes ticked by, Cas grew more nervous. Finally, he took a deep breath and walked to the doorway of the tack room. Sun streamed in a window, lighting the small, cluttered room. One entire wall held at least forty saddles. Dean sat on a stool in the morning light working on a leather strap that went to a bridle. His head was bent and he was so focused on the thin strap that he didn't look up. Cas leaned in the doorway, just watching him work. 

Finishing mending the strap, Dean inspected it, tugging it to check his work. "That'll do-" his head lifted as he walked toward the door, looking straight at Cas.

He froze, green eyes widening with shock. “Cas?” It came out as barely a whisper. He stood there, mended strap in hands, frozen. 

"Hello, Dean."

"What? Why, how are you here?" He stammered, stepping toward him, strap still in his hands. "I mean..."

"I'm here. On vacation."

"You- your family business thing?"

Cas hefted his shoulder off the doorframe, standing upright as Dean neared him slowly. "No. Just me."

Dean bit his lip, his eyes, those gorgeous green eyes, raked over him making a blush burn fiercely. 

"Just you?" Dean all but whispered.

"Yeah."

They were standing face to face, only a few inches separating them. 

"I can't believe you're here," Dean said, a grin finally tugging at his shocked face.

"I said I would come. I hoped you would call." Cas dropped his head, feeling very lost and insecure. "I told you if you called I would come, so I came anyway."

Cas lifted his eyes, needing to be stronger as he confronted Dean.

The blazing green eyes that met him, took his breath, just like they always did.

"You came to see me," Dean said.

Cas half grinned and nodded.

Dean reached around him, making Castiel side step into the room as Dean pulled the tack room door shut and locked it in one quick motion. He turned on Cas, Cas having his back to a counter where papers were kept to track ride schedules.

"Cas, I'm so sorry I never called again after that one time," he said in a rush. 

Cas shrugged, not sure where Dean was going with this. 

"I just wanted to see you again. To see if.."

Dean ran a hand through his own hair, breathing out slowly. "To see if I was still interested?" Dean grinned ornery.

"Yes," Castiel breathed out.

Dean was kissing him before he even saw him come towards him. His lips were hot and heavy, his hands tight in his hair. Castiel kept up the best he could the first few seconds, pulling back and looking at the wild look in Dean's eyes. It was lust. Raw. Built up longing that made Cas shiver. 

Their eyes locked and Cas dove for him. Every hope of reciprocated want and longing matching his own. Cas crashed his mouth onto Dean's, pushing him back against the saddles and wrapping his arms around those shoulders he had dreamt of for so long.

"You fucking came back," Dean said breathlessly as Cas moved his mouth down his neck.

"Why didn't you call?" Cas asked, just as breathless.

"Cuz I knew it was no use," Dean said, grabbing Cas by the shoulders and spinning them around to pin him back against the counter. "Knew I'd never see you again," he panted, gripping him tight around the waist and lifting him, Cas wrapping his legs around Dean's waist as his ass hit the counter.

"You were wrong," Cas said, taking another steaming onslaught of kissing.

"Promised myself if I ever got the chance again that I would do everything I ever wanted to do with you."

The thrill that ran through Castiel at those words was enough to make him moan aloud.

"Dean, I,"

"Shut up, Cas, just..." Dean's hands ran up both his thighs, making him moan again. "Just-"

The doorknob jiggled. "Who locked the friggin’ door?" A male voice groused.

Dean and Cas froze, pulling apart slowly.

"It's me, Bobby," Dean answered. "Hang on, I was just changing."

"Well, do your changing in the friggin’ changing room!" He griped.

Cas stifled a snicker.

Dean rolled his eyes, touching his slightly sweaty forehead to Cas'.

"Just one quick second," Dean said, kissing the chuckle out of Cas' mouth.  
"I'll be back in ten minutes boy, quit usin’ my tack room for a backseat."

Both Dean and Cas snickered at that. The only trick would be sneaking out so no one thought it was a guy instead of a girl.

"I have a room, you know," Cas said in Dean's ear.

"That would look just great," Dean kissed him.

"What, you can't have friends either?" Cas asked, biting Dean's neck lightly.

"Guys don't hang out in hotel rooms," Dean said weakly.

"Cabins?"

Dean pulled back, looking at Cas. "I can't believe you actually came back."

Cas ran a hand down Dean's cheek. "I'll always come when you call, Dean. Always."

Dean nodded, squeezing Cas' legs as his hands ran down his thighs and he stepped back, out of Cas' encircling legs. 

Both men took a deep breath, gaining their composure, straightening shirts and shifting softening manhoods. 

Dean unlocked the door. They went out into the stable.

"Chopper looks good," Cas said, scrubbing a hand across the back of his own neck, still shaking off what had just happened.

"Oh yeah, he's in great shape. Ready for a ride today?"

"Yeah," Cas laughed, exchanging a dirty grin with Dean.

"Where'd she go?" Bobby asked, making both guys jump.

"Told 'er to get lost," Dean chuckled.

Bobby shook his head, noticing Cas standing there. "Hey," he said, nodding in greeting.

"Hello, Bobby," Cas said, shaking his hand. "I was here last year. I remember you from trail riding," Cas explained.

"Ah, yeah," Bobby grinned, slapping his shoulder. "You the boy that went out with Dean when Trigger damn near threw him over the cliff?"

Surprised any one knew that story, even part of it, Cas' eyes shifted to Dean as he answered, "Yeah."

"Smart thinkin on your part to tie a rope to the saddle."

"Well, I'd like to say I thought it all out, but it was pretty much just panic and luck," Cas grinned.

"No, no," Bobby shook his head, "takes someone with good sense to act right in a tight situation like that. Thank you for takin care of my boy like that."

Cas swallowed at the serious tone Bobby had taken. He grinned and nodded as Bobby slapped his shoulder again.

"So, you back with the work crew?" Bobby asked.

"No. Came for a real vacation. Just me."

Bobby nodded, eyes shifting to Dean. "Heard yer dad wants ya feedin’ the west end cattle for Adam this week."

"Yeah, apparently Adam has baseball games or whatever."

Bobby nodded. His eyes moved between the two men and he cleared his throat. "You take tomorrow off, okay. Enjoy some time with yer friend."

Dean's jaw moved as he stammered, "That's not necessary, Bobby."

"Bullshit, you never get a day off. Cas, get him outta my hair tomorrow, would ya?"

"Yes, sir," Cas nodded. "It'll do him good."

"See," Bobby glared at Dean. "Tomorrow. Day off."

"Thanks Bobby," Dean said.

Bobby walked into the tack room, leaving the pair alone again.

"I gotta get to work," Dean said quietly.

"I will set something up for tomorrow," Cas said, giving Dean a shy smile.

Dean nodded, "Yeah. Wanna throw hay with me later?"

"Yeah!" Cas grinned.

Dean grinned, his eyes alight with happiness that made Castiel struggle to breathe. 

"I'm trail riding in the second group this morning," Cas said, rubbing a hand down Chopper's smooth neck.

"See ya then," Dean said quietly.

 

Castiel flopped onto the bed in his room, spread eagle, fully dressed, and a grin like he may never have had in his life before.

Dean had been happy to see him. More than happy. They had even snuck in one hot kiss after the trail ride. The feel of his hands, his mouth, his smell. Castiel closed his eyes and relived the moment Dean had grabbed him and put him on that counter. He sat up, needing to focus on his plans for tomorrow. There was no where they could really go to get away from everyone. Maybe we can stay right here. Hide right under their noses.

 

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

Dean picked Cas up and drove through the gates like they had done a year ago. He was just as hot as he had been a year ago. Maybe even hotter. Those blue eyes like the sky. That look of a wounded bird still hovered beneath the surface though. In quiet moments when he wasn't melting Dean inside with his smile and crinkling corners of his eyes, there was a look that pulled at Dean deep down. A haunted look. Like something in him was broken, making Dean want to mend it. 

Last year, the whole situation had freaked him out so bad he could not bring himself to get to know him any better, but he was determined to try harder this time. As the truck rolled through the furthest gate in the west field, Cas jumped back in, having secured the gate behind them. "Last one?" Cas asked.

"Yep, all done except stopping at Ellen's for a beer," Dean grinned.

"Perfect," Cas said, dropping his head back against the headrest and pulling the work gloves off. 

The truck rolled along, following a well worn path through a long fenced off section of land. "What do you want to do tomorrow?" Cas asked.

Dean gave him a look, eyes shifting back to the path. "Don't know."

"We could stay in my room. Put up a do-not-disturb sign and just...stay."

Dean glanced over again. Cas had his head down slightly, blush coloring his cheeks. "Or we could go sight-seeing." 

Dean smirked. 

"Or that cabin."

Dean thought about it. Staying in town was probably not a good idea. Driving to his apartment in Arizona would eat up more than half the day. The cabin...maybe.

"I don't know," Dean said. "I'll think about it."

Cas smiled softly and rode quiet the rest of the way back to the stables.   
As he parked the feed truck, they switched to his own truck, heading for Ellen's.

As he turned onto route 12, Cas cleared his throat. "Does anyone know about the fall besides Bobby?"

"The time at Perdition?" Dean clarified, getting a nod from Cas.

"Yeah, Ellen. I needed help with the bandage. Tried to go without but kept bleedin on stuff. Ellen saw and got me cleaned up. So, of course she told Bobby."

"But not your dad?"

"No. Bobby's not like that. Don't get me wrong, he reamed my ass out for taking a guest on a hot trail."

"Hot trail?" Cas asked.

"Hot trail is when ya take out a horse yer training to trail ride. Plenty can go wrong."

Dean thought back to the hell Bobby had given him. How Dean just took the tirade, but Bobby still kept it quiet.

They pulled into Ellen's and walked in. "Hey, Ellen," he called, seeing her come out from behind the bar.

"Hey, babe," she smiled, kissing his cheek and looking at Cas.

"Ellen, this is Cas. I brought him in last year. Can't get enough red cliffs I guess."

Ellen nodded, smiling and hugging Cas. "Good ta see ya again," she said, Cas grinning and ducking his head. She gave Cas a look that lingered slightly. It made Dean nervous. Ellen had a way of knowing everything. 

Everything.

They took the booth in the back corner and ordered beer.

"You asked who knew ‘bout Perdition," Dean said, fiddling with a sugar packet. "I told my brother Sam." He looked up, catching Cas' eye, "everything."

Cas' eyebrows raised and he nodded. "What did he say?"

"Said I was an idiot every time I didn't call ya. Said I need to leave here, go to college, be who I want."

Cas nodded.

"He's all worldly now, made it to college and thinks he knows everything," Dean huffed.

Cas grinned, looking up as Ellen brought their beer.

Dean took a long drink. He had plenty of things to say to Cas. But not here. Not with so many ears around. "So, how have you been?"

Cas took a drink, twisting his bottle in his hands. "It was a long year." His eyes slid to Dean's with meaning. Dean nodded. "My dad died."

"Jeez," Dean said, surprised. He remembered the man. Stiff, up-tight, big white beard. "Sorry, man."

Cas shrugged a shoulder. "I thought things at the company might improve. My uncle Chuck took over as president, but he's been very absentee. It leaves the board, my brothers included, to run things. Making my life...difficult."

Dean saw some hurt in the blue depths of his eyes. "I take it you weren't close to your dad at all."

"No," Cas said. No hurt there, just cold distance. There was something going on. His brothers maybe.

"How bout your little brother?" Dean asked.

"Jimmy," Cas smiled. "Jimmy is three now. He is under my brother Luc's care, per the will, but I spend as much time with him as I can."

There it was. Haunted and hurt went through those blue eyes making Dean want to hold him til it went away.

"I started riding lessons," Cas smirked. "Jimmy and I go every two weeks. He's so cute on these little ponies." 

Dean grinned, watching Cas' face soften and his eyes light up. "Shoulda brought him," Dean said, wanting to meet someone who made Cas smile like that. "I taught both my brothers how to ride."

Cas grinned at that. "Bet that was very different than how Jimmy is learning."

"Yeah," Dean scoffed, "kinda went like, 'hang on and don't fall off'," he laughed.

"I doubt that. I've seen you with kids," Cas laughed, finishing his beer.

"Want another?" Dean asked.

"No," Cas said softly, his eyes locking briefly with his.

Dean nodded, sliding a ten on the table. "Let's get outta here."

Cas nodded, following him out into the night. They drove back toward Angel's Landing.

"I can pick you up in the morning," Dean said quietly, not wanting to take Cas back at all. But he would be missed if he didn't show up at home tonight. He pulled to a stop in front of the hotel.

"Night, Dean," Cas smiled shyly.

"Night, Cas," Dean smiled. Cas got out, shutting the door and headed into the lobby. Dean noticed he had left something on the seat. His room key. Huh.

Dean pocketed the key. Was that intentional or just an accident?

He drove the narrow, winding lane back to the house. He parked the truck and let himself in the house.

"Hey, Dean," his mother smiled.

"Hey, Mom," Dean smiled.

"Out with Castiel?"

Dean looked at her sharply. "Went for a beer."

She nodded. "He checked in yesterday and I figured you two would hang out."

"Why?" Dean was growing more and more nervous by the second.

"Well, the guy did save your life, right? Tied a rope to a horse and raised you from Perdition?"

Dean knew he was staring. But what the fuck.

"Ellen told me a long time ago." She flipped the page of the magazine she was looking at. 

Freaking Ellen. Shoulda known. But still, she seemed finished dropping bombs on him.

"Yeah. I guess." Dean tossed his hat and jacket on the peg hooks then headed for his room. "Night, Mom, love ya."

"Love you too."

Dean shut his bedroom door. Sam's bed sat empty and he picked up the phone from the hall, bringing it into his room and closing the door.

He dialed the familiar number. 

"Hey, Dean," Sam answered.

"Heya Sammy."

"What's goin on?"

"Nothin. Well, somethin’. Remember I told you about what happened up at Perdition?"

"Uh, yeah, kinda memorable," Sam laughed. "Why? Did you finally call him?"

"Naw, man. He checked in yesterday. Showed up in the stables this morning."

"What?" Oh, he had Sam's full attention now. "He's there?"

"Yeah."

"Damnit! I wish I was there!"

"Why?"

"To meet him, Dean! The guy had you a mess for a year. He obviously has a serious thing for you, if he came back to the resort to see you."

"Yeah."

"Please tell me you talked to him," Sam said sternly.

"Yes," Dean scoffed.

"Did you..."

"Shut up, Sammy." Dean heaved a sigh.

"Did you two hook up?"

Dean rubbed his forehead and glanced at the door. "No. Not really. But he left me his room key."

Sam laughed. "Dude has it bad for some cowboy action, Dean!"

"Shuddup," Dean laughed.

"Why are you talking to me when you know you should be sneakin’ off!"

"I don't know...its just so..."

"It's normal, Dean. God, you need out of there. There are gay people all over the place here. You'd have quite a pick if you were here."

"Sam," Dean sighed. He was not having the you-should-leave argument with him again. 

Sam sighed, giving up. "How's mom?"

"Good. Working half days."

"That's good."

"Yeah." 

"Well, I gotta study. Finals tomorrow."

"See you next week, Sammy," Dean said.

"Yep. It'll be good to be home." Silence filled the line. “Dean. Go hang out with him. He came all the way there to see you.”

Dean let out an uncomfortable sigh. “Yeah.”

“Yes! Quit stressing about it and just go see him!”

“Alright!” Dean cut him off.

“Go!” Sam laughed.

“Bye.”

Sam huffed. “You aren’t going, are you?”

Dean was pacing in his room now. “If I feel like it, I will!”

Sam groaned in frustration. “Jerk.”

“Bitch,” Dean grinned.

Dean hung up the phone. He felt the key in his pocket and thought about the tack room this morning. Cas could kiss like there was no tomorrow. 

"Did ya feed the west end?" A grating voice shattered his thoughts. Dean whipped around, seeing his dad in his doorway.

"Yeah. They're fed."

He nodded. "Did ya fix the watering pump out there?"

"No," Dean said. "Didn't know it was broke."

"Well, if you weren't half-assing your work, you'da noticed."

"It's not my work. It's Adam's. And if he knew it was broken, why didn't he fix it?" Dean snapped.

"Good ole Dean, blame anyone but yourself."

Dean felt his shoulders slump. It wasn't worth the fight. "I'll fix it tomorrow."

His father gave him a smirk and a head shake as if to say Dean would never do it.

When he left, Dean locked his bedroom door and opened his window. He had snuck out plenty of times, but not for several years. He slid down the porch roof and onto the side yard, taking off at a jog down the lane. Once around the initial bend, he was out of sight, hidden by the short trees and slope of the land. He pulled out a small flashlight, lighting his footing. Sam was right. He did need to get away. He needed to get away from his father. The rest was fine. 

Dean snuck through the shadows, using the key to unlock a side door to the resort. The halls were deserted with the late hour. He ducked into a stairwell, hiking four floors. This hall was clear as well. Dean took a deep breath and unlocked room 517. He shut the door quickly behind him. 

Cas stepped out of the bathroom, toothbrush poking out of his mouth and wearing a mischievous grin.

"Hi, Dean."

"Hey, Cas," Dean grinned. "You forgot this in my truck." Dean held up the key card.

"Did I?" Cas smirked, pulling the toothbrush out and smiling fully.

"You did," Dean muttered, stepping closer, Cas' smile dropping, his blue eyes locking onto his.

Dean plucked the toothbrush out of his hand and tossed it onto the counter in the bathroom. "I wasn't done," Cas said softly.

"You don't need to brush your teeth," Dean said, backing Cas into the wall, barely touching his lips with a kiss.

"No?" Cas breathed.

"Naw, cuz I'm gonna dirty that mouth up."

Dean pinned him to the wall, daring him to challenge him with his eyes. 

Cas' look of mischief melted into a hungry grin. Dean leaned in, taking his mouth the way he wanted. With total possession. Dean had both hands holding Cas by the head. He felt Cas' hands wrap around his wrists. He pulled back a tiny bit, breathing. Cas' chest heaved in and out. No words were needed. He delved in again. His mouth was minty with toothpaste until it tasted the same as his own. It was the warmest, most intoxicating place in the world. He slid one hand around to the back of Cas' hair, gently clenching his fist in it. Cas let that wrist go, coiling both arms now around his waist. 

"Dean," Cas practically whimpered.

"Yeah, Cas," he huffed back.

He felt the press of Cas' dick against his own. Memories flooded him of the last time their lengths had met, making him damn near come in his pants. 

He pulled back, breaking the contact and the kiss. Cas was panting and weak in the knees, leaning against the wall.

Dean snagged his hand pulling him over to the bed and pulling him on top of him as he laid back.

"Oh, God," Cas moaned, sliding his dick over Dean's. The press of hard flesh and denim zippers was like electricity. He clamped his hands onto Cas' hips, pushing him off and rolling partially onto him.

He kissed him gentler, shivering when Cas' hands rubbed up and down his back.

Dean pulled back, nipping Cas' bottom lip as he sat up. He pulled at Cas' shirt until he half sat up, letting Dean pull it off. He was more muscular than his small frame appeared. Dean spread his work-roughened hands across the expanse of smooth skin, rubbing softly. Their eyes met briefly, giving each other permission and encouragement for more. Dean pulled his shirt off as Cas' hand slid up his abdomen and back down. Pants and footwear came off next as they watched each other. Boxers the only barrier, they came back together kissing and touching. Cas' body was a thing of beauty. Supple, yet muscular. Dean could not keep his hands still, running them over every part. Cas' hands seemed of the same mindset, roaming and feeling. Dean palmed Cas through his briefs, watching with rapt fascination as every touch made Cas arch and move. He straddled him, going back to his delicious mouth for a moment, then crawling down his body, he pulled his briefs off, revealing what he was intent upon. Cas' hands quickly slipped the waistband of Dean's boxers down, Dean pulling them the rest of the way off. Dean reached down, grasping the hot length and stroking slowly. Cas' eyes flew shut, hands clawing lightly at his sides. Dean's mouth worked wet and slow down the body under him.

With one long, slow lick, he went from the base to the tip of Cas' dick.

"Oh, God, Dean," Cas writhed. Dean flicked his eyes up, catching a look of painful pleasure in those blue depths. Only his secret, buried dreams had Dean ever had a dick in his mouth. He slid a finger along the silky, hot skin, grinning at the way his mouth actually watered to have it. 

Dean sucked him down, sliding his mouth up and down adding pressure and swirling his tongue on the silky, hot flesh.

"Nghhh!" Cas moaned, his hands flying to Dean's hair.

Up and down, he coaxed the writhing frame under him from frantic to stiff until Cas was gone, head back, hands clutching bedding and Dean's hair and warm liquid filled Dean's mouth with a sputter and then a flood. Dean sucked and swallowed until Cas was limp everywhere. 

"Fuck," he muttered at a higher pitch than Dean had ever heard his voice, making him grin. Working his way back up, he mouthed a wet trail back to his mouth, lazily kissing him and pulling him into his arms.

They lay there several moments, Cas pulling himself back together. Dean closed his eyes, feeling Cas' finger tips make swirly circles on his back. 

The circles became steadier, then gradually turned into light clawing and Dean gasped slightly when Cas' mouth breathed hot into his ear, "I'm gonna make you lose your mind."

Cas pushed his way on top of Dean, hot lava tongue and teeth left a river of sensation from his ear, down his neck, over his chest and down his abdomen until he latched onto Dean's cock like a vacuum. Dean fought not to rock too hard, wanting to shove him down further and throw him off at the same instance, overwhelmed and powerless. He threw his head back, knowing he was writhing like Cas had been only minutes ago. 

"Oh my god, that feels so fuckin good," he croaked, mouth dry and unable to keep his hips from jerking into the blazing pace Cas was setting.

Dean watched as Cas' head rose and plummeted. Pausing, Cas lifted his chin slightly, eyes locking onto his. "Oh, fuck," Dean moaned, head falling back as the pace picked up, ruthless and making his vision explode with white stars. He grabbed Cas' head, his hair soft and sweaty. Everything spiraled into a whirlwind of explosives, sending Dean over the edge, Cas' hot mouth milking all he had until Dean was pulling him off and pulling him back into his arms. "Stop, stop," Dean mumbled, unable to feel any more.

Cas chuckled a deep, rumble in his chest, making Dean chuckle as well.

Dean had never remembered feeling so warm and comfortable. The night was late and Dean dreaded the thought of ever leaving this bed. Cas' breath evened and eventually Dean knew he was sleeping. He pulled himself out of the tangle of limbs, slipping off the bed. 

Cas' eyes blinked open, turning to look at him.

"I should go," Dean whispered, giving Cas an apologetic smile.  
Cas sat up and pulled the comforter and sheet down, crawling into bed. "Will you lay with me? Just a bit longer."

Dean shook his head, laughing. This was a blatant trap. "Cas, if I get in there, I won't get out again."

"I'll make you a deal," Cas whispered, scooting over a bit, making more room for Dean. "As soon as I fall asleep, you can go."

Dean looked at the tousled hair and pleading eyes. "Alright," he said, crawling in.

 

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

Cas watched with joy near exploding his heart as Dean climbed into bed, settling in warm and solid next to him. His arms held him just right. Cas marveled at the warmth and comfort he felt enveloped in. He had never in his life felt something so perfect. 

Cas could stay awake all night, but Dean had made a deal.

Dean ran his fingers through his hair idly while Cas smoothed his hand down Dean's side. "You aren't going back to sleep, are you?"

"Never," Cas grinned.

Dean laughed. "If I stay much longer, I won't be able to get home anyway without someone seeing me."

"You have the day off," Cas said hopefully, "I got beer and chips, peanut butter, jelly and bread, and doughnuts."

"Wow, planning to keep me hostage for a week?" Dean laughed, squeezing him.

"If only," he sighed. "But an entire night and day...I'll take it. Every second of it."

Dean smiled, propping up on one elbow. His eyes were full of calculations.  
"Maybe," he murmured.

"Maybe," Cas purred into his neck. "Maybe I'll make it worth your while."

"Huh, you already did," he laughed.

"Noooo," Cas sang, biting lightly on his neck, jaw and bottom lip.

"Cas!" Dean laughed, pulling him away. 

"Stay with me," Cas said low and rumbly. 

"Cas," Dean started to protest.

"Stay, Dean. Please," Cas said, turning and sitting up, pinning Dean down to the mattress.

"Okay," Dean laughed, laughing into a kiss and then another.

"I'm gonna buy this room from your grandparents and have food and drinks sent in."

Dean sobered somewhat, running his hand back through Cas' hair. Seeing how Dean's face changed made him stop. "What? What is it?"

Dean shook his head, closing his eyes.

Cas crawled up closer. "What?"

Dean sighed. "My grandparents died last winter."

"Oh, Dean, I'm so sorry."

"Hey, circle of life."

Cas caught his hand, bringing it to his lips. "Sorry," Cas whispered.

"My grandma, Deana died in October. She had a heart attack and by the time we got her to the hospital, she was gone."

Cas traced his fingers gently back through his hair, watching his eyes in the dim moonlight. "Were you with her?"

"I was driving. My mother and grandfather were there with us." 

"And your grandfather? Samuel, was it?" Cas prompted gently. 

"Yeah. Ole Samuel. Smart one. He just woke up dead one day in February. They said it was his heart. I'm sure the old goat made a decision he was done and his old ticker listened just like the rest of us." He grinned at his own joke and Cas smiled back politely.

"Must have been awful." Their fingers entwined.

"Well, you lost your dad, right?"

Cas swallowed. "Yes. But he was more of a stock investor than a father. When my mother died several years ago I thought things would improve. I was wrong. And now my uncle is just letting my brothers control everything."

Cas brought their hands to his mouth. "You have normal family. Makes it a very different experience."

Dean nodded. "My mom and uncle own everything here now, which ties me in just a step deeper."

Cas curled into Dean. "It's such a beautiful place Dean. And you really do a wonderful job."

"Huh, all I do is fuck things up. Just ask my dad."

"I don't need to ask him. Your uncle Bobby seems happy with you. But even more than that, the horses love you. You know how I know?" He turned, looking Dean in the eye.

"How do you know?" Dean smiled.

"Their ears tell me."

They shared a smile and a kiss, finally laying down again.

 

The next day began with sunlight streaming through the window and a knock on the door.

Cas and Dean jumped slightly, Dean got up and went into the bathroom.

"One minute," Cas called. He threw on a pair of jeans and opened the door.

A blonde woman stood there, her grin growing the longer she stared at him.

"Can I help you?" Cas squinted.

"Housekeeping?" She blushed.

Cas blinked. "Uh, I'm good. Just fresh towels and sheets please."

She quirked a grin at him, "Sure thing."

She went to her cart and returned with a fresh towel, wash cloth and set of sheets. "May I change those sheets for you?" She asked, obviously flirting.

"No, thanks," he said, taking the stack from her. 

She raised an eyebrow with a slightly disappointed grin on her face. "Name's Jo, if you need anything, give me a holler."

"Thank you, Jo," Cas smiled.

He stepped back in, shutting his door. He re-opened it and hung a 'do not disturb' sign on the knob. 

"Coast is clear," he said, opening the bathroom door.

Dean stepped out. "That was Jo, wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"She was flirting with you, wasn't she?" Dean said, grabbing Cas by the belt loops.

"Yes, she was," Cas grinned and blushed.

"No wonder, answering the door wearing nothing but jeans and I've-just-been-fucked hair." The last came out in a growl and his mouth was on Cas' neck.

He shifted the pile of sheets and towels to one hand, letting Dean push his way into his space. Dean shoved the pile right out of his hand and Cas laughed. "Hey! Now I better call her back in here."

"You leave my cousin alone," Dean growled, Cas twisting away from the mouth making him crazy. "I can't help the staff here all want me."

"Listen here, no one else-" Dean dodged, trying to catch him.

"Your uncle Bobby winked at me yesterday," Cas laughed, jumping on the bed to dodge Dean.

"You little shit!" Dean lunged, snagging him by the waist and throwing him onto the bed, straddling him. 

"And your aunt Ellen," Cas laughed.

"What about my aunt?" Dean growled tickling Cas and making him squirm.

"She gave me her number!" Cas wheezed out among fits of laughter.

"I don't think so, city boy!" Dean laughed, letting Cas catch his breath.

Cas wiped tears from his eyes, blowing a breath. "Besides, you need to take back the hair comment."

"What hair comment?" Dean giggled.

"You said I have [and he air-quoted] 'just-been-fucked hair', which is not true."

"Not true? Then I will just have to fix that." 

Cas' eyes blew wide and his grin turned eager.

Dean's playful actions turned possessive. He took his mouth, plundering for more, unfastening Cas' jeans and pushing them down.

"You got supplies?" Dean asked.

"Yeah," Cas said, pointing at the nightstand.

Dean leaned over, pulling the drawer open. 

"Ever done this?" Dean murmured.

"No, but I know what to do," Cas said, running his hand up Dean's arm.

"Me too. In theory. At least what some porn has taught me this past year."

"Oh yeah?" Cas grinned.

He pulled out a condom, tucked it under the pillow and got the bottle of lube. He sat the lube on the pillow next to Cas and focused his ministrations on the man beneath him. "First, I need you nice and bendy," Dean grinned.

"Bendy, huh?" Cas giggled. "I am pretty flexible."

"Mm, good to know," Dean murmured, kissing him again, long and hot.

After a heated make out session, Dean prompted Cas to turn over. He backed down, running his hands up and down Cas' back, hips and ass. "Your skin is so soft."

Cas laid, feeling his cock rub against the sheet. "Is this how you want it?" Dean said low into Cas' ear as he hovered over top of him.

"Yeah," Cas said.

"You want me inside you?"

"Yes."

Dean lubed his fingers and began massaging around his hole, pressing into it with one finger. "You want me right there?" Dean panted low.

"Yes." Cas breathed out as Dean slid one finger inside. 

"That is so tight, Cas."

"I'll relax," Cas breathed. "More."  
Dean worked his finger in and out, swirling and kissing Cas' neck and shoulder.

He slid a second finger in and repeated. He moaned as he pumped in and out. "That's it, Cas, if you want me, you gotta make room."

"I can, I will," Cas panted, his hips starting to move against Dean's hand. "More, Dean."

"Yeah, you like this, don't you?" Dean moaned, scissoring his fingers and pumping.

"Yeah," Cas panted.

Dean slid a third finger in and spread them, making grunting noises as he pumped.

"So good at this, Cas," Dean whispered hot in his ear.

"Dean," Cas panted, "I want you."

"I know, baby," he growled. He pulled out, put the condom on, lubed and put his fingers back in to be sure Cas was ready.

"No," Cas whined, "I'm ready, I want you."

Dean positioned Cas up higher and put his cock at the entrance. 

"Yeah," Cas panted, rocking back on the blunt end.

Dean guided himself inside with one hand, the other guiding Cas' hip. "God, Cas," Dean huffed.

Cas puffed air out, accommodating and stretching. 

Dean stopped, waiting. 

"You all in?" Cas panted.

"Not yet," Dean grinned. He pulled out and pumped in a few times, slow and steady, then pushed until his balls hit. "Now I'm in."

"God, you're so fucking big," Cas panted, taking a deep breath.

Dean rubbed Cas' ass. "You ready?"

"Yeah," Cas puffed.  
He pulled back and pushed in three slow times. "So fucking hot," Dean said. “It’s so...warm and tight in there...jus, squeezin’ me just right.” Dean’s head lolled as he sucked in a steadying breath, reeling himself in from losing his focus.

"Move, Dean, move faster," Cas said, arms starting to tremble.

"You want more?" Dean groaned, trying to move quicker. "You get more."

Dean reached down, rubbing his hands around Cas' hips, squeezing. "I'm gonna make you lose your mind now, Cas."

Cas panted and began pumping back into Dean. 

"You are so fucking good at this," Dean said louder, a slapping rhythm starting. He changed his angle and Cas widened his knees. 

"Oh, Dean, right there," he called, arms trembling, legs trembling.

"Yeah, you like it rough," Dean grinned, keeping the new angle that had him shaking apart.

"Oh! Dean!" Cas cried out.

Dean reached around, grabbing Cas' heavy, bobbing cock and pumped in rhythm as he pumped his hips.

"Uh! I'm gonna!" Cas cried out.  
"Yeah baby, that's it, you like that dick in your ass! You come!"  
With a cry and writhing buck that Dean held on for, Cas came. Dean rode him out, his orgasm blowing when Cas started writhing.

He pumped to a sputtering stop, Cas collapsed and Dean slid out. He pulled the condom off and cleaned up in the bathroom, returning to an unmoved Cas. With a warm wash cloth he turned him over and wiped him off. With the cold one, he wiped the backside.

"Feels good," Cas muttered.

Dried off, Dean crawled in bed and held Cas tight in his arms.

"That was incredible," Dean whispered, kissing the top of his head. Cas nodded in response. They drifted off to sleep, tangled together.

 

An hour later, they woke, refreshed and starved. 

"Doughnuts?" Cas asked.

"Sure," Dean nodded, stretching and pulling on his boxers.

"I need coffee," Dean said. 

"I'll be back. I'll get us some. Your mom always has coffee going in the lobby."

"Awesome," Dean grinned.

Cas slid his jeans on. An ornery grin crept on his face and he looked up at Dean.

"You aren't goin anywhere in only those jeans and your truly, truly just-been-fucked hair," Dean said, eyebrows raised in concern.

Cas grinned and backed out his door. "Cas!"

He opened the door and slipped into the hallway, Dean's face growing red and his eyes blazing. "Cas!" He barked.

Cas chuckled as he turned to walk down the hall. He heard a click and felt a soft ball hit him and fall to the floor. He turned, seeing a t-shirt of his in a ball. He laughed, picked it up and shook it out.

"You haven't gotten far this morning," Jo giggled ahead of him.

"Oh, hello, Jo," Cas said.

"Nice hair!" She giggled again.

Cas ducked his head and grinned. "Yeah, just enjoying a vacation day."

She nodded. "There's DVDs to borrow down in the lobby, just ask Mary. Or I could show you."

"Would you?" Cas asked, grinning broadly, so hoping Dean could hear.

"Sure!" She said, perking up. 

Cas pulled the shirt he was holding over his head. She stuck a pouty bottom lip out and then smiled. He laughed.

Cas returned with a carafe of coffee a mug from the gift shop and several DVDs.

"Your mother thinks I'm an idiot," Cas laughed. "She says drinking this much coffee is not good for my stomach." 

Dean laughed, shaking his head.

“And then I told her I forgot my toothbrush so she gave me a spare."

"Nice!" Dean said, snagging the packaged toothbrush and headed for the bathroom. 

"And Jo helped me pick out some movies."

Dean stopped mid brush and looked at Cas in the mirror. 

"Is she really your cousin?"

"Yesh," Dean said around the brush, eyes not blinking.

"She's pretty cute."

"Cash" Dean threatened.

"I mean, she's legal right? 18?"

Dean spit.

"She offered to come watch some movies with me."

"Shut up."

"She did!" Cas laughed.

Dean wiped his mouth with his hand, crossing his arms and turning toward Cas.

Cas fought the smile that threatened. "I told her no. She was just flipping out because I have never seen Spider-Man."

"Wait," Dean closed his eyes and furrowed his brow in consternation. "You've never seen Spider-Man?"

"No. And now I see the family resemblance," he chuckled.

"A, stop hitting on my cousin who is barely 17; B, we are watching Spider-Man."

"Fine and fine," Cas said, pouring coffee.

 

As evening set in, Dean started getting antsy. After Spider-Man, they had taken a shower together, making out and then ruining Cas' fresh sheets.  
Then they watched Last Holiday with Queen Latifa. They spent the entire day in constant contact. By the time the sun set, Dean was dressed again.

"I gotta go, Cas," Dean said, pulling him in tight.

Cas sighed. "Can I see you tomorrow?"

Dean looked at him pensively. "Yeah. What are your plans?"

Cas grinned guiltily. "I came to see you, Dean. Besides scheduling the horseback riding, I made no plans."

Dean ran his fingers back through Cas' silky hair.

"Throw hay with me?"

"Yeah! A beer at Ellen's?"

"Yeah. Then maybe we can sneak off to the old cabin if no one is around."

"Okay," Cas nodded.

Dean kissed him one last time for the night and left.

 

Cas checked his phone the next morning and found a voicemail from Jimmy. He returned the call, promising to bring him gifts. The other five voicemails were work related, taking him several hours to handle. 

Finished, he headed down to the lobby.

"Good afternoon, Cas," Mary said, warmly. "How has your stay been?"

"Wonderful," he grinned, practically glowing. "I need to buy some souvenirs, where is a good place to go?"

"Well, if you don't mind the drive, you could head down to mile marker 145 at Tropic. They have a nice big place on the left just into town."

"Sounds perfect. Thank you."

She nodded and Cas took off down route 12 to Tropic. The sweeping red cliffs made him feel relaxed. 

He bought Jimmy a Native American horse statue, a rubber band gun and a real cowboy hat. While looking around, he found a smoothed granite stone, slightly bigger than a quarter, with a handprint etched into one side. The handprint reminded him of the first time he had touched Dean. He had left a bloody handprint on his sleeve. He rubbed the smooth rock between his fingers. He dug around in the large pot of stones to find another one. A green one for himself that reminded him of Dean's eyes. He found a blue handprint stone and smiled with a warm cloud settling in his chest. In a case, he found a pocket knife with red cliffs etched and colored into the handle. He bought that too. 

Back in his room, he practiced on the green rock, carving 'Perdition' with the pocket knife. Honing his new skill slightly, he carved the word into Dean's rock. A small something to remember him by. No one else would get the reference.

He went to the stable to meet Dean at the cattle feed truck at 6:30 to throw hay. He was not there, so he milled around the nearby fences, petting the horses.

"Hey there," came Bobby's gruff voice.

"Hello, Bobby," Cas said.

"Waitin on Dean?"

"Yes. I love throwing hay for the cattle," he grinned.

Bobby laughed and shook his head. "Good clean work."

"Yes. Much, much more respectable than the work I do."

Bobby thought on that a moment and leaned on the fence next to him.

"Dean might be pretty late. He caught some hell this morning from his old man. Forgot to go fix a water pump yesterday."

Cas nodded slowly. His father seemed pretty rough.

"Know where he was yesterday?" Bobby asked quietly.

Cas drew his lips into a thin line. There was no right answer to that question. Truth or lie, it could cause problems.

"Thought so," Bobby muttered.

They stood there silently for some time listening to the gentle sounds around them. 

Eventually, a truck rumbled their way. Bobby squinted at the distant truck and twisted his mouth in thought. "You best go wait in the tack room, Cas. Might make it harder on Dean if you're out here when him and his dad pull up."

Cas nodded slowly and made his way to the tack room. 

Cas closed the tack room door just as the truck pulled up. At first, all Cas heard were closing truck doors and equipment moving. Soon enough he heard a distinct male voice. Heavy and angry. He heard Bobby and Dean add to the fray. He could not make out the words, just the tone. As the men entered the stable, their voices carried clearer.

"She's gonna notice. Guests too," Bobby snapped.

"Too fuckin bad. Guess that's part of living on a stage like we do. And if I didn't still have to babysit him, he wouldn't have a black eye." The voice must have been Dean's dad. 'Black eye?' Cas' stomach clenched.

"Quit talkin about it," came Dean's voice, sharp and brittle. "Adam can handle the guests."

"Adam's at baseball camp this week, you moron," his dad's voice yelled.

"I'll handle the guests," Bobby said. 

Some muffled voices approached the tack room door and Cas braced himself to meet John, Dean's father.

When the door opened, it was Bobby. "Better get to that feed truck or Dean will be gone."

Cas gave Bobby a double take and sprinted down the stable aisle. The truck just started to roll off when Cas smacked the passenger side window.

Dean jerked, startled and hit the breaks. Cas jumped in and Dean took off. "You might not wanna come today, Cas."

Cas looked at him closely. He could not see any marks on this side of his face.

He could feel the anger roll off Dean like a seething fire. He watched the fields go by until they got to the first gate. Cas hopped out, unlocked, opened, closed and locked, then hopped back in once Dean had passed through. He did this all seven gates without speaking a word. 

At the farthest field, Dean got out and helped throw hay. Back through each field they threw hay. Only after the last gate had been locked and Dean turned out to route 12, did Dean start talking. Cas had already seen the purple and black bruise on his left eye. His lid was swollen and Dean seemed to be favoring his ribs on his right side as well.

 

Cas had not said a word. He had no words. He wanted to find John and smite him into a smudge of dust on the ground, but Dean's family was not really his business. Cas noticed they passed Ellen's. "Are we headed to the cabin?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah," Dean said, his chin resting on his left hand as he drove with his right.

Once in the small cabin, Dean lit the lantern and sat heavily at the table. It had been a year, but nothing had changed.

Cas sat next to Dean and put an arm around him.

"I forgot to go fix a water pump out in the west field," Dean said.

"Bobby told me," Cas said. "He had me wait in the tack room to avoid making John angrier."

Dean nodded. "Dad caught on that I was with you yesterday."

Cas pulled his arm off Dean, feeling like he needed the space. "I'm so sorry, Dean."

Dean nodded. "Fuck him."

Cas watched the tiny flame in the lantern. 

Dean turned to him suddenly. "I will never be good enough for him. Never."

"Dean-"

"When I was four, Sam was just a baby, and my dad came home drunk one night and beat the shit out of me for leaving a toy fire truck on the stairs. 

My mom took Sam and me and left. Five years later, when Dad's girlfriend died, my mom and and dad got back together. And he brought his new son, Adam. By then I was almost ten. I hated him. I hated Adam too. Dumb kid stuff, ya know? But Dad, he never quite forgave me for him and my mom splitting the first time."

Cas sat quietly, listening. 

"I love it here, Cas. Love my mom. But I can't stay. I can't live under his constant bullying."

"Dean, how often does he hit you?"

"This is the first time since I was 18. I fought back pretty hard that time. Both ended up with broken bones."

"What about your mom? Or Sam and Adam?"

"Huh, he never touches Adam. Or Mom. He only ever spanked Sam. No, I'm the one. Says it's my nature. How I learn best."

"That's not true," Cas said, sliding his hand along Dean's arm. "You deserve so much better."

"He accused me of being a pansy for so long, that when I first...when I first realized I liked guys...I thought it must be his fault for always sayin it. But he knows now." Dean turned to him again. "Told him everything. Told him he's been right about me all along."

"Dean," Cas said, his heart breaking at the look of defeat on Dean's face, "you aren't weak. You aren't less than for being gay. You help run over a thousand acres of rugged land. You make this a place people want to come back to. That's you!"

Dean shook his head no.

"Yes, you are just as vital to this whole operation as your mother and Bobby. It's a legacy that you can be proud of."

Dean shook his head again, his shoulders slumping even further. It was like every compliment or positive thing he said made Dean feel worse. Cas grasped at what to say, how to make him feel better.

"You want this land? Do you want Angel's Landing to succeed?"

"Yes," Dean whispered.

"Then you take it from him, Dean. You make the business your own."

Dean's face lit up a bit. He nodded.

"You are the strongest person I know. The best person I know. And you are better than some drunk who hits one of his kids to feel better."

Dean stood up and paced the tiny room. "I can push him out again. I can."

Cas stood up, encouraged by Dean's spark. "I can do everything he does here. We don't even need him. I don't need him."

"You don't," Cas said firmly.

Dean hesitated, a heated look lighting his green eyes.

"I need you," Cas said. "And I believe in you, Dean."

Dean strode the three steps between them, taking Cas into his arms and kissing him hard and needy. Cas reciprocated, pulling his shirt off and Dean pulling off his. He needed Dean's heat, his fire. 

"God, I want you, Cas," he said against his skin with gritted teeth.

"Take me," Cas said, reaching for Dean's belt. Dean steered him by heavy kisses backwards, pulling his pants down before he pushed him onto one of the bunks.

Boots and pants came off with thuds and plops. Cas handed him a condom and the lube from his jeans pocket. "You came ready," Dean grinned.

"Like a Boy Scout," Cas grinned back.

"I got some badges you can earn, Boy Scout."

It was rougher and faster than before, but no less heated or wanting. Dean slid his third finger in, fucking him with his hand and then rolled him over. "I want to see you," Dean growled, biting and sucking first one nipple, then the other while his hand kept pumping. "I want to see those baby blues when you come, Cas."

"Now, Dean, I want you now!" Cas demanded, pushing Dean's hand away, making a greedy smile bloom on Dean's lips. 

"Oh yeah," Dean said, grabbing the condom. He sheathed and lubed in no time and pushed in with one long, slow push.

"Fuck," Cas whined, breathing and adjusting to the fullness he so craved.

"Ready?" Dean said in his ear, biting softly.

"Yes," Cas said, jolting his hips up.

Dean pulled out and pushed in. Smaller then longer and longer until Cas was falling apart in his hands. He tilted his hips slightly, finding Cas' prostate and pounded slow and steady, holding his hips tight.

Cas watched as Dean's face contorted with pleasure. "You're so good, Cas. So fucking good!"

"Harder," Cas panted.

Dean's eyes opened again, finding his. He sped up and leaned down, wrapping his arms around Cas' grinding harder. Mouths touching open and panting, eyes open and watching, Cas grabbed Dean's ass, squeezing him in further still.

"Fuck," Dean panted.

"Dean," Cas called out.

"Come on, Cas, come!" Dean begged.

Cas writhed, head thrown back and Dean could feel hot, sticky cum flood between their abdomens. He took Cas' open mouth with his own, gasping as he came. Thrusting slowing and kisses sloppy and hot, they stopped, breathing heavy.

Dean held Cas tight, Cas wrapping his arms tightly around him. 

"I didn't even know," Cas panted, "how good this could feel."

Drunk on lust, Dean giggled. "Glad I surpassed your expectations, city boy."

Cas giggled back. They cleaned up and snuggled into the bed. 

Time ticked by and Dean finally sat up, tracing a finger around a red mark he had left on Cas' chest. 

Cas lightly traced the bruise blooming on Dean's right rib cage. His eyes flicked to the black eye. "What are you going to do?"

Dean sighed heavily. "Force my dad to deal with me. The real me."

"I'm so proud of you, Dean. I wish I was as brave as you are."

Dean stood, pulling his pants on, Cas following suit.

"Cas, if this goes sideways with my dad, can I come to Chicago with you?"

Cas could tell it was hard for Dean to ask for something like that. Which made it twice as hard to refuse him.

"Dean, I can't. My family can't know. Not yet."

Dean eyed him, brow furrowing slightly as he pulled his socks on. "Why?"

"It's...complicated."

Dean stomped one of his boots on. "So uncomplicate it."

"I'm trying. I've been trying ever since my father died. My family is...powerful."

Dean nodded again, trying but failing to understand him. Anger edged into his tone. "So...you're just leaving again."

Cas pulled his shirt down over his head, surprised by the question. "Yes, Dean. I have to go home. I have to help Jimmy and get out from under my brothers."

Dean nodded. He stood, pulling his shirt on. "How long do you think it will take?"

"I have a lawyer. A cut-throat demon of a lawyer helping me. But it could take years."

"Years?" Dean stammered with a look of shock that he quickly schooled away.

Cas stood, feeling terribly guilty. He shoved his hands in his pockets, feeling the stones he had made. He pulled them out, putting the green one back and handing Dean the blue one. "I thought of you when I saw these today."

Dean took the offered stone, staring at it. "When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow," Cas said quietly.

Dean licked his lips, biting off words for a moment, his hands shaking slightly. "Damn, Cas. So, you drop into town, fuck me and leave."

All the blood drained from Cas. "No! Dean, I came to see if we still had something! And we do!"

Dean looked at him coldly. "What do we have Cas? A long distance secret relationship where we get together once a year?"

Cas stammered. He was such an ass. Why had he not thought this through? Dean was tearing his family, possibly his home and future, apart for him. And he had nothing at all to give. 

"Holy shit," Dean surmised. "So...this is it. You're headed back to city life and..."

Leaving him and his mess behind.

"Dean, I did not mean for things to happen this way."

Dean rubbed his mouth, biting back what anger was ready to spew from his mouth. "Cas, you-" Dean bit his lip again.

"I'm sorry Dean," Cas pleaded, "I just can't."

"Ya know what Cas, sorry doesn't cut it. What the fuck were you thinking?"

"I-I don't know!" Cas said deflating.

"Get in the truck, Cas," Dean ordered.

Cas looked at him, pleading him to understand something he would not explain.

Cas glanced around, tossing the blanket back over the bunk. 

"Dean -" Cas said, the word dying in his mouth as Dean walked out the door.

He blew the lantern out and closed the cabin door. He reluctantly got in the truck.

"Dean, I had no idea things would be so strong between us. I didn't think it would affect your relationship with your family either."

Dean stared straight ahead. "So the plan was to just hook up once a year in secret."

"Yes," Cas said weakly. "It was a bad plan. I'm sorry."

Dean stared straight ahead, steering absently through the curves.

Cas wanted to scream and make him pull over. He wanted him to understand what hell he was going through with his family, but he could not. And if he could not even talk about what he was dealing with at home, Dean had every right to hate him. But it crushed him to know Dean was so angry. 

"Dean," Cas said weakly, "please stop the truck."

Dean glanced at him for the first time. Hard, anger cut his green eyes. "Why?"

"Please, you have to understand -"

"I got it Cas," Dean said in a steely calm voice.

"No, you have to understand, Dean, I, I think I'm falling in love with you."

Dean gave him a look like he was crazy.

"Cas, you don't know what love is. You don't buy love. You don't pick up love when it suits you. You're like a friggin’ rock, man. Your parents fucked you up beyond repair, buying kids and making them into insurance soldiers. Taking orders like robots."

"Dean," Cas snapped. While what he was saying might be somewhat true, it was hurtful and Cas' heart broke.

"What Cas? What could your parents possibly have on you, that you can't talk about, you can't think for yourself, you can't -"

"You have no idea what I'm dealing with!" Cas yelled. "It's war there, Dean. And I am fighting a battle that I can't even legally talk about!"

"Fine," Dean snapped. "Then don't talk about it. But don't come knock on my fuckin’ door, looking for...whatever it is you think you found."

"Fine," Cas snapped back bitterly.

"Maybe booty calls are an every day thing in Chicago, Cas, but not here. And certainly not me."

"That's NOT what I meant for this to be!"

"Oh yeah? Then let's get together tomorrow and talk about it. Oh yeah, you won't fucking be here because you're what?"

"Leaving," Cas said bitterly.

"Leaving," Dean repeated angrily.

Cas held his tongue, tears running down his cheeks. How could something flare up so true and beautiful and implode so rapidly?

The truck came to an abrupt halt in front of Angel's Landing. Cas hated to move. He knew if he left this truck, it would be the end. And the end seemed so impossible.

Cas turned to Dean, who was watching him with angry expectancy.

"Dean, I don't want to end things this way. Please."

"Fine," Dean said with fake positivity. "It was nice seein’ ya again, man." The fake smile dropped, leaving only the cold stare, his voice cold along with it. "Find somewhere else to vacation."

Cas was so angry and hurt that he could not even form words in his mouth. His lips trembled and tears ran down his face. He nodded and opened the truck door. He wanted to tell Dean that he loved him. He knew he did. He wanted to say I love you. I want to be here for you and with you. I want to go get Jimmy and come right back and start a life with you. I want you!

And like so many other moments in Castiel's life, defeat filled him utterly. He wiped his cheeks, keeping his words to himself. He had ruined everything. 

Cas slid out of the truck and shut the door. Dean was staring down at the steering wheel, hands clenched and jaw muscle twitching. 

Cas stepped back, a look of stoney hollowness sliding over his face. Dean glanced at him one last time and the truck was gone.

'Today, Dean Winchester, I might be a stone. A rock. But I do know what love is. For just a moment I had it. It had me. And now...it's shattered.' He watched as the taillights disappeared. And the cowboy was gone.


	4. Homework

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is another short chapter. Hope you are enjoying this fic. The next chapter is my favorite :). For now, it's time for a little Crowley. I have a soft spot for our favorite king of hell. In this fic, he is not such a bad guy!

Chapter 4. Homework 

 

Castiel arrived home a defeated man. Only Jimmy could cheer him up. It was difficult to get time with him, making matters even harder. At home, alone in his own apartment, he was depressed. The trip had left him absolutely hollow. Life had no meaning unless Jimmy was involved. 

Castiel began bicycling in the city trails to keep himself busy. On one of these treks along Lake Michigan, his phone rang. He checked the screen and pulled off to the side of the trail. 

"Crowley," Castiel said.

"Evening Castiel," came the deep British accent of the lawyer he had hired. "I'm calling to let you know I've decided we have everything we're going to get to start the trial."

"Okay. That's good."

"Buckle up. It's going to be an ugly little ride. But never you worry. I've found exactly what I need to get little Jimmy home to you."

"Thank you, Crowley. I know you've been working hard on this for a long time. It's just...we only get one shot."

"Don't I know it. Oh, and I'm sending you a little surprise. Should be on your doorstep any moment now."

"Alright," Castiel said, figuring Crowley was sending a celebratory bottle of wine or something.

He finished his trail and loaded the bike in his car, heading home.

He unloaded the bike, bringing it inside to put away. He downed the rest of his bottle of water and checked outside his door again, thinking he might have overlooked Crowley's gift. Nothing there.

"Hey, Cassie."

Castiel whipped around, hearing a voice he had not heard in a year and a half. "Gabriel!"

Gabriel was tanner. Relaxed, with a Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts on. A sly smile smirked his handsome face.

"Gabriel!" Castiel felt like he was ten years old again. His big brother was home! His brother! His best friend.

Castiel hugged him hard, holding on tight.

"Hey, hey," Gabriel soothed, hugging him back and rubbing his back.

"Are you back?" Castiel said into his shoulder, crying.

"Yeah, for a little while. But back on the map for good." Gabriel peeled Castiel back, looking at his face. "Aw, Cassie, life not going so good? You do not look happy."

"I am so happy to see you," Castiel sniffled.

Gabriel put an arm around him, walking him into the kitchen where he had been sitting at the bar eating pie. "Look, I brought you an apple pie," he grinned.

Cas laughed. "You can't ever leave again, Gabriel. I missed you too much."

They sat side by side at the small bar in Castiel's kitchen eating a slice of pie.

"So...big stuff you got cooking with Crowley," Gabe said.

Cas nodded. "I apologize if he ruined your situation or plans, but he said he had to see you. That you were vital to the trial."

Gabe smirked. "Timing is perfect. That Crowley sure is a character though. Between what I've been busy doing this past year and what Crowley has, Jimmy should be yours in a few months."

Cas smiled. "My god, Gabriel, I missed you more than I can say."

"Yeah, I missed you too little bro. But what got you such a mess? I haven't seen you cry since you were ten and I stole all your underwear out of your suitcase before camp." Gabe smirked.

"It was a long, very difficult week, Gabriel."

"This week?" Gabe asked.

"No. Camp. No underwear under a Boy Scout uniform and you would have been crying too."

Gabriel laughed at Castiel's deadpan humor. "Aw, man. I don't know why you always came back for more. I picked on you all the time."

"It was all in good humor," Cas smiled. But a sad look shadowed his face.

"What'sa matter, Cassie?" Gabe asked, sliding his plate away.

"You and Jimmy. You are all I have. And it has been...difficult since you left."

"Raphael?" Gabe guessed.

"No. I mean, yes. He and Luc are spiraling the company into greed that rivals the devil himself. But no. I...I fell in love."

Gabriel watched his little brother closely. He had never seen him like this. Raw and edgy. He was bolder than he had ever been before. He was ruthless with what he and Crowley were getting ready to do. He was tougher, sturdier, harder and yet more open. 

Castiel told Gabriel everything that had happened between him and Dean.

"Well damn, I shoulda stuck around just a bit longer to meet this guy. Sorry things didn't work out, Cassie. Is there still any chance?"

"I have tried to call several times. It's a very remote place. I was thinking maybe after the trial, I might go back. Just to see."

Gabe nodded. "Well, the guy sounds like a douche to me. But then again, nobody is good enough for my baby bro."

Castiel grinned sadly. "He changed me, Gabe. Forever."

"Change is good," Gabe patted his knee. "You needed some change. Ole Mom and Dad had you pretty well fucked up in the emotional department. It's no wonder you have difficulty keeping a relationship going."

"I would have walked away from everything if not for Jimmy," Castiel swore. 

Gabriel nodded. "Sounds like you got an awful lot on your plate. I'm here to help. I can't really help with the Dean thing, but I can help with Jimmy."

"How have you been? You look good," Castiel asked.

"Life is good out there, Cassie. I had a poly thing goin for awhile, but I had to move on. I've been kinda drifting, honestly. And now I'm ready to play hardball with my asshole brothers."

 

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

Chopper trotted along the fence line, bringing his section of cattle into the chute. He watched across the sea of brown heads as Adam effectively brought up the rear of the herd. At fifteen, he was already a damn good cattle hand. 

Dean was proud of him. He was staying in school and was dead-set on being a rancher, which Dean was glad for. The cattle and land were Adam’s now. At first, he had insisted on quitting school to fully ranch. Dean wasn’t having it. For once, he won.

Bobby had sold his portion of the homestead to Dean. All land and animals associated with the horses on the property were his. 

The house he had grown up in, along with Angel's Landing resort, was now owned by Sam. 

This effectively divided all of Angel's Landing into three entities that worked together. 

Bobby still helped with the horses, but it was a lot for Dean to handle. Ellen had stepped up to help run Angel's Landing until Sam graduated in two more years. Dean did a lot there too. They hired help to run the cattle business, but kept Adam in the loop of all decisions. Bobby helped a lot there too. They were all stretched thin. Adam was chomping at the bit to graduate high school so he could be on the ranch, Sam was chomping at the bit to finish college to be running the hotel, and Dean, well, Dean had realized he had missed his window to leave. If he had ever truly wanted out of Utah, out of the sea of red cliffs they lived in, he had missed it. 

His mother had kicked John out after seeing he had hit Dean again. The first time in a long time had been a wake up call to his mother, but Dean was a grown man and could fight another grown man whether it was his own father or not. But when Dean had followed-up that fight with a blatant admission that he was gay and John had damn near killed Dean, she kicked him out. No one at the ranch missed his brooding, drinking presence. In fact, everything lightened. Until his mom got sick. She had died in March. She had just finalized the divorce with John, keeping custody of Adam, and she got bronchitis. That had progressed into pneumonia. Dean, Sam and Adam had all been with her in the hospital in Flagstaff. It was shocking and unthinkable to have lost her so quickly. In her will, she had left her share of Angel's Landing to all three boys. 

After many long talks around the kitchen table and at Ellen's, they divided the business into three parts, that functioned together. Bobby sold his portion to Dean for a song. Jo adamantly wanted out of the area, so Bobby and Ellen refused to tie her down to the resort.

Dean had come to terms with the fact that he may never see any more of the world than Utah and Arizona. He was happy. Happy enough.

 

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

Crowley beamed at Castiel and Gabriel. "What did I tell you boys?! Huh?! Job well done I must admit!"

Castiel shook Crowley's hand. The trial had never quite gotten as far as the courtroom. When presented with the glaring evidence of extortion and fraud, Lucifer Novak had plead guilty taking a lesser sentence. He was behind bars. Raphael had tried to run, increasing his own sentence, also in prison. Gabriel and Castiel had been expunged of all crimes of fraudulent business as they were deemed 'under duress' from their father, mother, Luc, or Raphael. Three other board members had jail time as well. Bela had slipped into the wind and was still being looked for. 

The entire insurance company was disbanded and sold, Gabriel and Castiel receiving all profits that did not go into Crowley's insane lawyer fees. 

Most importantly, Castiel had been awarded full custody of Jimmy.


	5. Angel's Landing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to meet Jimmy! He's so cute!!

Chapter 5. Angel's Landing

 

Cas put the rental in park and got out, pacing beside it.

"Cassie," Gabe said, getting out and rounding the SUV. He gripped Cas' shoulder.

Cas was shaking. He felt like he might vomit. 'What the hell am I doing? What am I going to say? I shouldn't have done this!'

"This has got to be done, Cassie. You should be here and you gotta talk to the guy."

 

"Damnit, Gabe, get outta my head!" Cas laughed, taking a deep breath.

"Little bro, I can read you like a book," Gabe grinned.

"I'm glad you're here," Cas said, hugging his brother.

"Got no where else to be just now," Gabe grinned, but Cas knew better.

 

Castiel walked through the lobby of Angel's Landing. He stopped to look at the spirit horse and angel sculpture on the wall. The angel looked determined. 

Castiel set his mouth in a firm line. He was determined. He needed to speak with Dean. He hoped beyond all hope he would be able to find him. He had no reservation. He had been afraid to make one. In fact, the resort was not open yet. Winter clung to the high cliffs, making travel too difficult to take reservations in April. But Castiel could not wait any longer. 

Lights were on and someone had to be around. He turned to the desk, his mouth dropping. Dean stood behind the counter watching him. He wore a hard look on his face. Not angry, but unreadable.

"Hello, Dean."

 

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

Dean had just hung up the phone, taking a reservation call. He saw an SUV pull up and wondered who it was. Tourists were very scarce still.

His mouth went dry when he recognized the lean frame of Cas. Son of a bitch.

What confused him more was what he carried. Cas was carrying a sleeping child. He looked young, arms hanging limply, head perched on his shoulder, legs dangling. His hair was dark brown and tousled with sleep. 

Cas stopped at the angel sculpture as if he needed to consult it before he went any further. As he stood there looking up at it, the little boy's face was turned toward him. 'What is he doing here? How does he have the fuckin’ nerve to come back here? And...who is the kid? Is that Jimmy? God...he...the hair is exactly the same as Cas'. '

The little boy wore jeans and boots similar to Cas'. His puffy coat with dangling clip on mittens hid him a little.

Cas hiked him up gently and turned toward Dean. Fuck.

"Hello, Dean," Cas said. He was obviously surprised to see him. Although he had to have come all this way to see him. Again.  
'What the fuck is he doing here? And that voice.' It pissed Dean off how Cas saying his name could make his body react in ways his mind did not agree with. He had kicked Cas out. He had told him not to come back. That he was not some yearly one night stand. 

He shifted his jaw, willing his mouth to moisten enough to get a word out.  
"Cas."

Cas looked down nervously, then walked toward him, stopping at the counter with a determined look on his face. His hair was wind blown and he looked tired. 

"It's good to see you," he said stiffly.

"What are ya doin here, Cas?" Dean asked quietly, eyeing the little sleeping boy again.

Cas rolled his eyes, hefting the boy up again.

The little boy curled his arms around Cas' neck and wrapped his legs around his side tighter. One hand came up to rub his eye as he yawned.

"Are we at Angel Land?" The little boy asked.

Dean's mouth dried out again when the boy's eyes opened fully and he looked at Dean and then Cas and then back to Dean. His eyes were blue. Not just blue. Castiel blue. The kid was the spitting image of Cas. Dean's blood ran cold. Cas had a kid.

"Jimmy, this is Dean. Dean, this is Jimmy."

"Hello, Dean," the boy smiled, waving.

"H-hi there, Jimmy," Dean said quietly.

Another man came in the door, Dean watching in a daze.

He was shorter than Cas with light brown hair and eyes.

"Hey, Jimbo! You woke up," he grinned.

"Dean, this is my brother, Gabriel. Gabe, this is Dean."

"Huh," Gabe said, giving Dean a measuring look.

Dean just stared. It was like his world flipped upside down in less than a minute.

"Uncle Gabe, I have to pee," Jimmy said.

"Come on, buck-o, let's go drain your micro-bladder." 

Cas sat Jimmy on his feet and Gabe took his tiny hand, walking him to the far side of the lobby to the restroom.

Dean tore his eyes back to Cas. "Cas, is that? Is Jimmy your kid?"

Cas shifted his mouth slightly. "Dean, can we talk?"

Dean leaned back away from the counter, trying to gain some perspective and equilibrium and air. Cas has a kid.

Talking. Cas wanted to talk. Dean crossed his arms over his chest, eyes narrowing. Cas wanted to talk. 

"Please," Cas said with an edge.

"Yeah. Sure," Dean said, at a total loss of what the hell to do. He had told himself a million stories about what a jerk Cas was. How he had ditched him to be straight in the city. How he had mistreated him and left. But never had he considered there was a child.

Dean walked out from behind the counter, heading to the empty conference room. Cas followed silently. He flipped the lights on and leaned against the wall. The air in the large room was cold. He watched as Cas walked the length of the window, looking out at the snowy canyon. He circled the entire room coming to a stop a few feet from Dean. He pulled out a chair and sat at the large wooden conference table.

"I see you are not happy to see me. I know I was not invited. But I had to come. I had to talk to you."

"You coulda called," Dean said, feeling like a jerk. He walked to the table and sat down catty-corner to Cas.

"I did. Many times. But I never left a message. I was afraid...I just had to see you in person." Cas' voice was strong but his shoulders were hunched. His trench coat still on, he looked...'he looks wounded. Well, I didn't do that. He only wanted me for a boy-toy.' But even in his head the thoughts were wavering. Dean had to admit he had been hot-headed that night. But, it was so long ago. Every time Cas showed up, his life went into a tailspin.

"I need to explain myself to you Dean." He looked at Dean, his blue eyes piercing his soul. "I did everything I could to clear the slate."

"Clear the slate?" Dean asked, sitting back. "What are you talking about? And who is that kid?"

Cas looked away, clenching his jaw then turning back. "You once asked me if you could come to Chicago. I told you no. That I could not talk about why my family had such control over me. I came to tell you everything. To start from the beginning."

"You don't owe me that, Cas," Dean said, feeling like maybe he had affected Cas' life more than he thought.

"I do, Dean." He took a deep breath. "When I was 17, I got caught making out in my car with another guy. Luc told my parents. They freaked out. They made me go to counseling through church. I went to camp. A camp to 'help cleanse your evil thoughts'. I swore to everyone that I was 'healed'. When I went to college, Luc and Raphael showed up unannounced one night and I had a friend over, studying." He looked at Dean sharply. "We really were just studying. But my brothers decided I had been lying and my parents threatened to cut me off. I didn't care. I knew I was gay. I was ready to be on my own. I suppose Luc thought that was unacceptable. He took me out the next night and put drugs in my drinks." Cas slouched back in his chair, looking at his hands. "I had sex with a girl. Two months later, she told me she was pregnant." Cas looked out the window, pain in his eyes. 

Dean felt his anger fading. His resolve to not like this man fading.

"My parents paid her to disappear. They adopted Jimmy. He was to be proof that I was not gay. And that I was a failure like my real parents. Just another dirty miscreant bringing life into the world and not being fit to parent him."

Dean could see a weight practically crushing him.

"I was so lost. So confused. I hated myself for being gay. Hated myself for making a baby. Hated my parents for...making me be his brother." Cas scrubbed a hand over his mouth, taking a deep breath. "But I never hated Jimmy. The more I was around him, the more I wanted to be his dad." 

Cas stood suddenly, walking to the window to stare out. "They used to tell him his real parents did not want him. That he was abandoned. That his real parents were evil." 

Dean had trouble accepting all this information. It was all so twisted. He watched as Cas wiped at his face. 

"They used him to control me. My work. My personal life. Any step out of line and they would threaten to put him up for closed adoption so that I would never see him again."

Dean sat forward, shocked at the story. He watched Cas' back as his shoulders lifted and his chin raised. "Then I met you."

'Met me?' 

"When I went home after we first met, I found the most ruthless lawyer I could find." He turned back to Dean, hands in his pockets. "I was a mess, Dean. Several months ago, the lawyer began dismantling my parents company. Luc and Raphael are in prison. And I finally have full custody of my own son. I'm ashamed of things I did at work. Ashamed that I was not stronger, that I didn't take my own son sooner. But I am not ashamed of being gay. And I am not too proud to show up on your doorstep for a third time. I'm sorry I was not there for you when you needed me. But I had to put my son first. And if anyone had known, it could have ruined the upper hand I had over my brothers."

Dean swallowed hard. Cas had been through hell. And he was sorry for not being there for Dean. 

Dean stared at Cas' somber stance and expression. 'What do I even do with all this? I was so busy thinking about my own problems.' 

"Cas," Dean croaked, "I just...had no idea."

"No one knew. Only my parents and my brothers."

"Gabriel?" Dean asked.

"Gabe knew. And he helped bring down my parents and my brothers. He helped me get Jimmy back too."

Dean nodded, his mouth still unable to stop hanging open.

Cas walked back to his seat, sitting. "I need you to know that I did come here to sneak away and be with you in secret. I was so used to hiding. I was terrified that if anyone knew, it would stop me from getting Jimmy back." Cas dropped his head, shaking it. "I was wrong for that. I was wrong for a lot of things. But...I just had no idea how to fix things. I had no idea how to be normal."

"Normal?" Dean scoffed, "Jesus, Cas. I don't know how you did it."

"I never meant to hurt you Dean."

"Aw, Cas," Dean slouched back, arms limp and head feeling full of cotton. "I just got so mad. So hurt. If I had known...I don't know."

"It was unfair. I wish I would have told you. I..." Cas grimaced, clenching his fist and then letting it relax. "I just needed you to know."

Dean nodded. They made brief eye contact, both looking away. 

"Look, man, it's getting late. The roads get real bad here at night. Why don't you guys stay here tonight," Dean said. 'I gotta get out of here. I need to think. I need some space. But I don't want him to go. I just need a freakin’ minute.'

"Thank you," Cas said flatly. "And thank you for letting me talk."

"Yeah," Dean said, standing, Cas copying him. "Let's get you guys a room."

Cas followed Dean out to the lobby desk.

"Daddy, look!" Jimmy said, pointing at the wall sculpture. "It's you on a horse! Can we ride the horses?"

"No, buddy," Cas said, exhaustion in his voice. "But we are staying here tonight."

"Can we ride tomorrow?" Jimmy asked, hope shining in his eyes.

Dean wanted to cry. Throw up. And maybe pick that miniature Cas up and hug him, he was so cute.

"No, Jimmy, we gotta head out in the morning." He scooped the little boy up and kissed his cheek. His brother watched Dean and Cas both. Dean had the feeling Gabe knew everything. That made Dean even edgier. All he needed was some big-brother revenge issue. He programmed two key cards for one of the suits.

"I'll get the bags," Cas said, putting Jimmy down and rubbing his little head.

"Dad!" He laughed. 

Dean watched the silent communication between the brothers. Dean put the cards on the counter and Gabe walked over, taking them. 

"Ya know," Gabe said, pinning Dean with a look, "my little brother is a lot of things. But easy isn't one of them. If you want something to work here, you're gonna have to take a step."

Dean bit his lip, looking away.

"He's taken thousands for you."

Dean swung his gaze back to Gabriel. 

The front door opened and Cas reappeared with three bags. Gabriel walked away, taking one and the three suitcases and went into the elevator. The doors slid shut, Cas never looking at him again.

Dean picked up the phone, dialing a number. "Adam, can you come watch the phones in the lobby. I need a break."

Ten minutes later, Adam walked in. He was tall and lanky at almost 16 years old.

"Phones busy?" He asked, tossing his jacket into the back office.

"A little. And we have guests in 607."

"People came? Are they crazy?"

"Yeah, well, they should be fine. I just figured they could stay the night."

Adam looked at him closer. "You okay, Dean?"

"Yeah. I just need a minute."

Dean left through the back door walking down to the stables. Every step away from the hotel cleared his thoughts. It was bitter cold. The ground crunched under his feet and he buried his chin in his coat. He slid the stable door open, coming in and closing it. The horses eyed him, always looking for treats or attention.

He stopped next to Chopper's stall, the horse stepping forward to stretch his head out. Chopper nosed his shoulder and Dean pulled his hand out of his pocket, rubbing him. "He's back again."

Chopper blinked his big brown eyes.

"That bastard just keeps coming back."

Chopper's ears swiveled.

"Yeah, I know you like him. You don't know everything though." Dean rested his head against the stall door frame.

“What don't we know," Bobby asked, making Dean jump and Chopper toss his head up.

"Jesus, Bobby!" Dean said, turning to glare at him.

"Sorry, didn't know I was interrupting a Hallmark moment with the horse."

Dean glared deeper, pacing to the other side of the aisle and back.  
"Freakin Cas showed up tonight."

"Cas?" Bobby said, surprise evident.

"Yeah. Shows up to apologize for last summer."

"Kinda late for that," Bobby furrowed his brow. "Pretty impressive he showed at all though, really."

"Huh," Dean huffed. "Showed up with his kid."

Bobby hooked the gate to the stall next to Chopper's that he had been in. "He has a kid?"

"Apparently. He has a son. Jimmy. Kid's like 4."

"So...Cas is what? Married? Straight?"

"No, no. The kid was the result of his asshole brother drugging him at a party, then his parents adopted the baby and used it as leverage to keep Cas in line."

"What?" Bobby huffed, jamming his hands in his coat pockets. "I knew those people were no good. Knew it."

"Yeah," Dean admitted, following Bobby to the stable door.

"Poor guy."

Dean screwed his mouth up.

Bobby gave him one of his appraising looks. "You had a daddy that did you wrong Dean. But that poor, dumb kid had nobody. Got tricked into havin’ a kid of his own, then they took that too."

Dean gritted his jaw. "So that gives him an excuse to come here and use me like a doormat?"

"No, Dean. I doubt he meant it that way. Sounds like his family had him by the short and curlies. Probably scared they'd git ahold of you and make your life hell too. Family like that? Coulda damaged you a lot."

Dean looked out at the setting sun as Bobby walked to his truck. "You ever think you got SO mad cuz you cared SO much?"

Dean huffed. "Maybe."

Bobby got in his truck and started it. "Lotsa people come and go here, Dean. None ever riled you up like he did. Probably means somethin."

He shut the door and drove off, leaving Dean. Dean shuffled around the parking area awhile. Maybe Bobby was right. Cas was trying to fix things. But he had a kid now. Too many maybes. He pulled at his own hair, kicking some rocks.

He walked back into the stable, calling the one person who would always look out for him.

"Heya Sammy, whatcha doin?"

"Hey, Dean! Just workin on an paper."

"You got a minute?" Dean asked, his voice sounding tight.

"Yep."

"So...Cas showed up."

"At Angel's Landing? In winter? Damn!"

"Yeah, yeah. Impressive. Whatever. He told me why he left last year. And what he's been doin. Apologized."

"Yeah, he went through hell."

Dean stopped pacing the aisle, "What? You knew?"

"Dean, it was all over the news. I tried to tell you, but you told me never to talk about him."

"What was in the news?" Dean asked.

"His parents insurance company was denying medical procedures and medications that were supposedly covered. The two older brothers and other higher ups were fraudulent as hell. Cas and another brother were expunged. Apparently there were constant death threats and other kinds of blackmail. Cas and the other brother reported all kinds of shit they dealt with growing up."

Dean paced. "You shoulda told me."

"Oh, no. I tried to bring it up. You damn near knocked my block off for talking about him."

"So, you know about the kid?"

"What kid?" Sam asked.

"His son? Cas has a son."

"What! No."

Dean told Sam all he knew about Jimmy. It had all been kept out of the news, protected as a minor.

"Dean, are you gonna talk to him?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Come on! The guy keeps coming back for you! And I know damn well that you are still in love with him."

Dean pulled the phone away, glaring, then returning it to his ear. "I never said anything like that."

"No, you didn't have to. I know you, Dean. I know he pissed you off. But you gotta let it go."

Dean stopped in front of Chopper's stall. "He's got a lot of problems, Sam."

"Yeah. So do you."

"I do not! What problems do I got?" He yelled.

"Oh, let's see. Anger issues. You hold a grudge just like dad."

"Sam."

"Dad issues, you feel trapped, let's see...struggles with sexuality."

"Alright, that's enough," Dean said weakly. He wanted to deny it. Wanted to be stronger than he was. But he just couldn't.

"You know it's true. You carry around that little stone in your pocket, Dean. You obviously still care about him."

Dean felt the stone in his pocket like a piece of hot lava. 'How the hell does he know that? He only talked about it once!'

"You get that stone out every time you get too drunk. I've heard more details about you and Cas than any brother should have to hear. Mom knew too. And Bobby. And Ellen. Hell, I bet Adam too."

Well shit.

Dean sat heavily on the floor. He had been fooling no one but himself.

"Let go of all that anger, Dean. Don't be like Dad. I think Cas made you happy. I mean, there had to be more to it than the guy was a good lay."

"Jesus, Sam!" Dean flinched.

"What? I know he hasn't always been there when you needed him, but it sounds like he wants to be now. And...the dude had his own shit to deal with. And you weren't there for him during any of that."

Guilt and anger tugged in his mind. He stewed. Maybe Sam was right. Maybe he had been so holed up in his own little world, that he had missed out.

"Dean? You still there?"

"Yeah."

"Please go talk to him. Just...try."

"Yeah. Okay, Sam."

"And, call me to tell me what happens, Jerk."

"Yeah, yeah. Bitch."

They both snickered and Dean hung up.

Dean stood up, looking at Chopper. "Fine! I'll go talk to the guy. But I'm just talkin’. And you just keep your pushy opinions to yourself."

Chopper tossed his head and Dean walked out, locking the stable.

 

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

Cas laid in bed, Jimmy tucked in beside him. Cas was reading a chapter of a Loius Lamore novel to him. Jimmy tried not to let his eyelids close but finally lost the fight, falling asleep.

"That has got to be the weirdest bedtime story I ever heard," Gabe laughed.

"What? It's a western. Jimmy loves them."

Gabe sat on the side of his bed. "Are we really leaving in the morning?"

"I guess," Cas sighed.

"We flew three hours, drove three hours, and you're just gonna leave after one conversation?"

Cas shrugged. "I told him everything. He's still angry. I mean...I show up uninvited with a kid. What was I thinking?"

Gabe shrugged. "That he was worth putting your heart out there. I don't know."

A knock on the door, drew both their gazes to the door.

"Maybe two conversations will do the trick," Gabe snickered.

Cas got up to answer the door. He frowned down at his pajama pants and t-shirt and ran a hand through his hair.

His heart rose to his throat seeing Dean standing there. "Cas, can we...talk?"

Cas turned to Gabe.

"I got this!" Gabe motioned at Jimmy. "He's so high maintenance though, it'll cost ya."

Cas smiled weakly, turning back to Dean. "Yes."

 

The hotel was empty except for them, giving it a rather eerie feel. Dean pulled out a keycard and let them into the suite next door. The room was large, with a table and chairs and small kitchenette, couch, two queen beds and a bathroom. Dean turned lights on and sat at the table.

Cas sat as well. He could not help but look at Dean, but dodged direct eye contact.

"I just needed a minute to think," Dean said.

Cas nodded.

"So," Dean rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "congratulations on Jimmy."

Cas half grinned, caught off guard. "Thanks."

"I mean, that had to be a lot to go through. All of it."

Cas nodded.

"My parents split up shortly after you left. My dad and I got into it pretty bad. But I made him understand that he could like me the way I was, or he could leave. Mom and my brothers backed me up."

Cas was watching him closely. "I'm sorry your parents got divorced. For my part, anyway."

"No, don't be. Because of you, I dealt with something that was...drowning me. And honestly, everyone was happier."

"Was?" Cas asked.

Dean nodded, clearing his throat. "Mom died last month."

"What?" Cas asked, reaching toward Dean but stopping. "Dean, I am so sorry."

Dean nodded. "Viral pneumonia, she got sick and...just could not get better and then she was just...gone."

Cas shook his head thinking of the pretty blonde. It was hard to believe she was gone. A painful look crossed Castiel's face.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Nothing. It's just...I have wished you were with me or I was with you every day since I met you. And you have been through some terrible, terrible things and I could not be there for you. I just...I just wish I could have been."

Dean nodded, making Cas' heart ache. "Me too, Cas."

They sat a moment in silence. 

"So," Dean said low, "what's it like? Being a dad?"

Cas grinned. "Tough. I had to tell Jimmy everything. And he's so little, ya know? On one hand he doesn't quite get things, and on the other hand, he just forgives and moves on."

"I heard him call you daddy."

"Yeah, when I told him, he started right away." Cas laughed, "He told me that he knew. Told me he heard it in a dream and knew it."

"Wow," Dean said, shaking his head. Silence ruled for several moments, until Dean spoke again. "It's crazy how much he looks like you."

"Yeah. I'm getting that a lot lately. He's a good kid."

"Look, Cas," Dean said, Cas locking eyes with him for the first time. "Maybe you could stick around a few days. You don't have to rush off. We can take Jimmy for a trail ride anyway."

Cas bit his lip, nodding. "That would be great Dean, thank you."

"Yeah," Dean said gruffly. 

Another minute ticked by. "Gabe knows everything about us. All I told Jimmy was that you were a friend and we had a fight. That I was coming to say I was sorry. No expectations."

Dean nodded. "Let's meet at the stable at...10:00? We can take Jimmy for a ride."

"He'll love it. I'm afraid I have given him horse fever. He can't stay away."

"Runs in your blood," Dean grinned. "You're a natural. Makes sense he would be too."

They exchanged a smile, then remembered their tension and sobered.

Cas got to his feet. "Thank you, Dean."

"You're welcome, Cas," Dean said, following suit. They went out the door and Cas went back to his room with a quick wave.

 

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

The next morning it was all Cas could do to keep away from the stable until 10:00. Jimmy was having a grand time playing with some toys Cas had picked up yesterday on their way into Escalante.

Cas sat on the floor of a large conference room, leafing through a Homes & Land magazine while Jimmy set up his trucks to race again.

"Wanna play, Daddy?" He asked.

"I do," Cas said, closing the magazine and crawling to a truck.

"What's in the book you're looking at?" Jimmy asked, eyes so blue and curious that it made Cas chuckle. 

"I was looking at places to live. I think you and me need a house."

"Oh, I want to live here!" He said jumping to his feet, eyes wide.

Cas laughed. "You want to live in a hotel?"

"Yes! We can sleep in a different room every night so we don't have to make our beds!"

Cas snagged him by the waist and bear hugged him to the floor, tickling him. "So after we sleep in and mess up over a hundred beds," Cas laughed, "then who makes them all?"

Jimmy laughed, pushing Cas' hands away then gave him a look as if he was so silly. "The maids!"

Cas laughed, hugging Jimmy tight and kissing the soft hair on top of his head. They had three truck races, then went to change for riding. 

As they walked up the lane toward the stable, Dean came through a gate on a horse.

"Wow," Jimmy said in awe.

"What?" Cas asked, sitting him on the top rail of the fence.

"That's Dean. He's a real life cowboy." 

"Yeah," Cas said, just as dreamy.

"Hey guys!" Dean called, trotting up to them. "You ready to ride?"

"Yes!" Jimmy said bouncing up and down, hands clenching into tiny, excited fists. 

Dean felt a crack in his foundation of stone he had built up. His wall of anger and stubbornness. That little face, so excited and Cas watching him, so happy. It hit him that that was what seemed so different from Cas this time. Although the two of them had baggage to deal with, the haunted, wounded looks were gone. He was smiling. Proud. Warm and loving.

"Well, let's get you saddled up," Dean said, his voice cracking slightly.

Cas and Jimmy came around to the stable, walking down the aisle of horses. Dean unsaddled the paint he had been on and put that saddle away. He brushed him off quickly and brought out Chopper.

"Wow! He's so big!" Jimmy awed from Cas' hip.

Dean laughed. "That's what your Daddy said when he met Chopper."

Cas greeted the horse fondly, impressing Jimmy very much. 

"So," Dean said, saddling Chopper, "How old is Jimmy?"

"He is 4. He rides tiny ponies in a fenced in arena at the place we rode at. His class is working on trotting."

"Excellent!" Dean said, Jimmy beaming. "Is Gabe coming?"

"No," Cas said.

"Uncle Gabe said we get you all to ourselves," Jimmy grinned and Cas blushed.

Dean caught Cas' eye briefly as he tightened the cinch.

"I think for today, he can ride with you. Unless -" 

"That would be great!" Cas grinned.

"Okay, then you two get Chopper."

"Wow!" Jimmy's excited eyes looked intimidated.

Dean laughed again. "That's exactly the face your Dad made the first time he rode Chopper, and now they're best friends."

Jimmy grinned shyly. "You ride him?"

"I have," Cas said.

Dean busied himself saddling Trigger while Cas and Jimmy wandered around the outdoor pen on Chopper, getting used to him.

Dean pulled the cinch tight, fastening it and leaned his head against Trigger's shoulder.

"I can't fucking do this, Trigger. He's so...I'm not gonna make it." 

Trigger reached around with his nose and nipped at Dean's elbow.

"I can't even look at that kid without wanting to freakin cry."

Trigger pawed the ground impatiently.

"I know. Man up. Be the good guy. I am the good guy," Dean muttered, leading the horse out to the ring. He mounted and took a quick walk around, letting Trigger stretch.

"Is that Trigger?" Cas asked, looking slightly nervous.

"Sure is. And don't let his history on trails worry you. That was two years ago, Cas. He's as sound and calm as the rest of my crew."

Cas nodded. 

"So, how far you want to go today, Cas? We could go to Perdition or on up to Angel's Throne."

"You have angel thrones?" Jimmy asked. He was seated snuggly in front of Cas, hands on his thighs.

"I have a whole angel playground here," Dean grinned, sweeping his arm out to encompass the view of the canyons.

"Do you know what Dean taught me?" Cas said quietly as they followed Dean to the trail head. "When he was a little boy, like you, his mom told him that little boys play in sandboxes building sand castles and angels played here, building these canyons."

"Wow," Jimmy said in awe, looking out at the canyons with new eyes.

Dean closed his eyes a moment. His mom would love this. She would be so excited that Cas was back. That this dear little boy was his. She would have told Dean, just like Sam had, to let go of his frustration and anger and move on. He took a deep breath. 

They walked all the way to Perdition before stopping to take in the view.

Cas and Dean relived the moment they had their two years ago, silently, in their own thoughts. 

"Whatcha think, Jimmy? Should we go on or turn back?" Dean asked, glancing at Cas.

"Go on!" Jimmy wiggled. "Daddy, can I ride with Dean?"

Cas' smile slid away as he glanced down at Jimmy. "No, buddy, he..."

"I don't mind," Dean grinned.

Cas' eyes darted to Dean. "You sure?"

"I'll be extra careful. Promise."

"Please!" Jimmy wiggled again.

"Alright, but sit still and be good."

"I will!"

Dean walked Trigger tight against Chopper and Cas lifted Jimmy's tiny frame over, Dean taking him easily to sit in front of him. As Dean's arms settled around Jimmy, Cas felt a lump in his throat but shoved it down.

"Take a picture!" Jimmy said, so excited to be with a real cowboy.

Dean walked Trigger ahead of Cas and turned him as Cas pulled his phone out. 

Cas snapped six pictures, Jimmy beaming and Dean with a gleam in his eye that made Cas' stomach flip. Dean took his hat off and put it on Jimmy for one. As Jimmy turned to look back and up at Dean, a radiant, awed smile on his little face, Dean looked down at him and grinned. Cas captured the moment and put his phone away. "Got it," he said, grinning, but his voice caught slightly.

Dean put his hat back on and turned Trigger to lead the way up the trail further. Cas watched as the deep caverns and steep cliffs passed them. Every few feet the view changed so dramatically. They reached Angel's Throne. A giant rocky formation, that looked like a massive chair, sat high on a perch overlooking the canyon. It was breath-taking.

Dean and Jimmy had been talking all the way, but Cas could not hear what they were saying. He was sure Jimmy was asking a million questions, but Dean still wore a warm grin and an easy smile. As they stood, looking at the throne, Jimmy said, "My dad is an angel."

"He is?" Dean asked, glancing at Cas, who blushed slightly.

"My uncle Luc said he is a bad angel. The angel of Thursday."

Dean's jaw clenched.

"But I don't believe him. My daddy's good."

Dean instinctively wrapped an arm around Jimmy, hugging him slightly. "I know for a fact that he is a good angel."

Jimmy nodded, smiling.  
"Alright, angels and Cowboys, it's time to head back down. It's pretty cold up here," Dean said, a strain in his voice. 

As they made their way down the trail, Cas took in the sights. This could be his last pass through here. One thing was for sure. If he left here today or tomorrow, he wasn't coming back. Ever. Unless Dean called. He knew in his heart he would always come if Dean called.

Back to the stable, Dean swung down and lifted Jimmy down as well. "There ya go, partner. You are a great rider."

"Thank you," Jimmy shivered.

Cas dismounted and led Chopper back to his stall where he unsaddled him and he and Jimmy brushed him.

"Come 'ere, Jimmy," Dean called.

Jimmy gave Cas an eager grin, eyes twinkling. "Go ahead," Cas grinned. 

Jimmy ran out to the aisle with Dean and followed him into the tack room. Cas hefted the large western saddle onto his hip and carried it into the tack room, putting it on an empty rack on the wall. 

Dean was sitting at the desk, pulling open a drawer. He pulled out a badge. "You earned one of these today. It says, Junior Ranger Rider."

"Wow!" Jimmy exclaimed, taking the shiny plastic badge.

Dean pinned it to his coat. "Now, when you ride by yourself, you get to earn one of these," Dean said, showing Jimmy a real metal badge that said Angel's Landing Stables.

"Woah," Jimmy said, eyes big. "I'm gonna earn one."

"Okay," Dean laughed, ruffling his hair. 

Dean turned back to Cas. "Would you like to come up to the house for lunch? There isn't much at the resort besides coffee and snacks."

Cas wanted to. He nodded. But he was a bit nervous about getting any kind of hopes up. And he was more nervous of how much Jimmy liked Dean. The closer they got, the harder it would be to leave.

"Adam's at school, so it's just me."

"Thank you. I should get Gabe though, he's probably starving."

Dean nodded and they walked out of the barn, Gabe coming up the lane. 

"Saw you kids come back, thought I'd check in."

"Uncle Gabe!" Jimmy hollered, running to him.

"Jim-Bob! How was the ride?" Gabe asked.

"Awesome! And look, I earned a badge!"

"Aw man, very cool! How bout I take you out for some lunch and some ice cream?"

"We're eating at Dean's house," Jimmy said, glancing back.

"Hey," Dean said, "all I got is tuna fish. And I don't have any ice cream."

"Oh," Jimmy said, glancing at his dad. 

Dean had to laugh at how polite the little guy was trying to be. He tossed Cas a look and Cas quickly caught on. "How about I eat with Dean and you eat with Gabe. That way everyone has a friend to eat with."

Jimmy hesitated, looking longingly at Dean.

Dean knelt down. "You and Gabe can come to my house for dinner, okay? And you can meet my brother, Adam. He's a cowboy too."

"Really?" Jimmy looked so excited. Dean nodded. "Okay, if you're sure."

"I'm sure," Dean said seriously.

Gabe and Cas exchanged a look. "I'll meet you back at the room later," Gabe said.

Cas nodded, watching the pair trek back to the hotel and get in the car.  
Cas and Dean exchanged a look, both turning and heading for the truck to ride up to the house.

"You live at the house with Adam then?" Cas asked.

"Yep. I'm his legal guardian since mom died. Dad just disappeared. Sam and I tracked him down. He's living in Kansas. He came to the funeral, said he was done with us. My uncle Bobby and him went rounds and Dad said he wouldn't be back. Offered to take Adam with him, but Adam ain't goin’ nowhere. He loves this land."

"Wow, so you run everything?" Cas asked.

"Well, I have hired hands to work the cattle. Bobby helps at the stable and Ellen helps at the resort. But starting next week, I need to bring in a lot of staff. They're returning from last year, but I never had to manage people before. Sam will take over when he graduates in two years, but...I don't know. It's gonna be somethin’ else."

They pulled up to a two-story adobe house. The pinkish-red smooth square outline of the structure made it look so at home in the rugged terrain.

They went inside and Cas was surprised to note the hardwood floors and tile. It was neat but cluttered in the living room.

"I haven't done much since Mom..." Dean said, heading into the kitchen.

Cas washed his hands, following Dean. Dean pulled out a container of soup and supplies for sandwiches.

"Want a bowl of beef vegetable?"

"Sure," Cas said. 

Dean sat out two bowls and Cas dished soup into them, microwaving them as Dean made a pot of coffee.

"That was a chilly ride. I'm surprised Jimmy held up as long as he did," Dean grinned.

"He would live outside if I let him," Cas laughed.

They put together tuna salad sandwiches and began eating quietly.

"Thank you for taking us out today," Cas said.

Dean nodded, looking down at his soup. "Jimmy is a great kid."

"You're good with kids," Cas grinned. "It surprises me."

Dean smirked, "Why?"

"I don't know...I guess it shouldn't."

"Maybe we can go to Ellen's for dinner instead of eating here. She'd be glad to see ya."

Cas nodded. "Sure."

Dean could see a reservation in Cas that he had not seen before. He was holding back. Keeping himself turned off. But Dean had seen glimpses of his true personality with Jimmy and Gabe. And maybe that stone should not be cracked. There would be no hooking up. No heart-breaking leaves. They could be friends. If that was possible. Or whatever Cas wanted. 

From what Dean could tell, Cas had come to make amends. And they had. Well, Cas had apologized. Thinking over their past conversations, Dean realized he had never forgiven Cas. Not out loud anyway.

"What time should we meet for dinner?" Cas asked, standing and clearing his dishes.

"Bout 5:30." Dean stood to clear his dishes.

"Did you make that soup?" Cas asked.

"No. Ellen. She keeps us fed pretty well. Although, I am learning how to cook." Dean smiled ruefully.

"I love cooking. Had I had my way, I probably would have gone into culinary." Cas said.

"Oh yeah? So, you can cook dinner tomorrow night then?" Dean grinned.

Cas stammered. "I can. But...Dean, I don't want to over stay. I know I just showed up out of nowhere."

"Yeah, you do that. Just, poof, you're here."

Cas looked down guiltily.

"Course, if I had called, you wouldn't have had to do that."

They exchanged a soft look, both dropping their gazes to the floor.

Dean took a deep breath, "I would really like it if you guys stayed a couple days. I mean, if you aren't in a rush to get anywhere."

Cas grinned, nodding and glancing up at Dean. "We are kinda floating right now. After cleaning up the mess at the company and liquidating family properties, we're just kinda winging it."

"You're not going back to Chicago?" Dean asked, leaning against the counter.

"No. There's nothing but paperwork for me there." Cas shoved his hands in his jeans pockets, leaning on the other counter.

A weighted silence sat between them, Dean looking very thoughtful.

"I should head back. Gabe and Jimmy will be back soon and Gabe won't make Jimmy take a nap." Cas said quietly.

"Sure, I'll run ya down," Dean said, grabbing his keys off the counter.

They rode down to the hotel. Dean dropped him off and left.

 

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

Cas sat in the empty lobby looking at the angel sculpture. He noted how the spirit horse perched at the edge of the cliff and could relate. He was perched at the edge of a cliff himself. A cliff of uncertainty. 'What am I doing here? Am I just pushing my way in here only to leave again?'  
He sighed heavily.

 

Dinner that night was relaxed. Ellen and Bobby were warm and welcoming. Neither seemed too surprised by Jimmy, which meant Dean had probably already talked to them both. Cas was relieved to not have to explain his presence and the back story to go with it. It was one thing to talk about, it was another to talk about it in earshot of Jimmy.

"These are the best burgers in the world," Cas said, humming with delight on his third bite. Ellen and Bobby had set up a big table, joining them for dinner.

"Well I guess that's really saying somethin’, seein’ how you've been around the world and all," Ellen beamed.

"Chicago, New York City, Memphis, nobody does burgers like you," Cas beamed back.

Ellen shook her head. "How bout you, Jimmy, have you traveled much?"

"Nope. Just Chicago. And now here. But I want to stay here. Can we stay here?" Jimmy said quietly, turning to Cas.

"Jimmy-"

"I don't want to go back to Chicago," he implored, a scared look crossing his face.

Cas put an arm around him, kissing the top of his head and pulling him close. "We aren't going back to Chicago. Ever." He tipped Jimmy's chin up, making the tearful eyes meet his. "I said we aren't going back. And we're not."

Jimmy nodded, looking back at his plate but not eating. He stayed tucked into Cas' side, arms wrapped around him.

Dean wondered what could make a four year old hate a city so much. Then he remembered Cas' brother Luc, who had had custody of Jimmy for several years. He could only guess what kind of childhood Jimmy had had so far. It made Dean cold inside. It made him think about his own dad. 

Adam nudged his elbow. "You alright?" He whispered.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good," Dean nodded, schooling his face and tuning back into the conversation Gabe was having with Ellen about managing the hotel.

"I just don't know the day to day needs of a business so big," Ellen was saying. "I been runnin' this place for years, but I have a staff of five. One of those is me and another is my husband."

Gabe nodded understandingly. "You guys might need to hire a good manager. I know it's a family business, but it gets big and complicated real quick."

"Know anyone who needs a job like that?" Dean said, glancing at Cas.

Cas' eyes widened, locking stares as he chewed and swallowed.

No one said anything for a moment.

"All I know is," Bobby cut in, "I can herd 300 head of cattle quicker than run a staff of 50. Cows and horses are better company than people for me."

Cas and Jimmy snickered. Dean could not stop watching the similarities between Cas and Jimmy. Their eyes, that quizzical look, the head tilt, the smile, even the way he held his burger. It was...endearing.

"I agree totally," Adam said, mouth full.

"Me too," Dean added, eyes back on his plate.

 

As dinner ended, Dean drove Adam and himself home, Cas, Gabe and Jimmy following in their rental.

"You thinkin’ ‘bout offering Cas a hotel manager job?" Adam asked.

Dean glanced at his youngest brother. "I don't know."

"What did he do before?"

"He has a business degree. He...I don't know exactly what he did. But it was upper management of a huge company."

"Huh," Adam said.

Dean nodded. "I'll call Sam if I really think it's an option."

Adam snickered. "Well, I think he would pick up trash or clean rooms if you asked him to."

Dean glared at him. "Cas and I have kinda a rocky past. I don't think he has any intention of staying here. There's nothing here."

"You're here, Dean," Adam said, opening the truck door as they came to a stop in front of their house. "Besides, he already has a Homes & Land magazine for the local area. I saw him reading it this morning."

Dean watched as Adam left the truck. 'Huh. Maybe he's not gonna run off.'

 

Dean showed up at the hotel at 7:30 the next morning. Jimmy was up and playing in the hall as Cas sat in a lobby seat, trying to wake up with a cup of coffee. He was studying the angel sculpture and glancing every so often at Jimmy playing.

Dean wondered what exactly was brewing behind those blue eyes. But Dean was done guessing. Today he was taking steps to figure out what he wanted. And not just his libido, which screamed like a caged animal to go ravage him. He closed the office door behind him that he had come through and two sets of identical blue eyes turned to him. It made him damn near stagger. 

"Dean!" Jimmy yelled, launching from his spot on the floor and running over to him. He skidded to a stop, looking like he wanted to hug him, but restrained, biting his lip.

'God, he bites his lip like Cas does. This kid...I just can't...'

"Hey little man, I brought you some stuff," Dean said, sitting a box on the chair next to Cas. "I went digging through the attic last night and found some old stuff of me and my brothers. Thought you could put it to good use. If that's okay with you, Cas," Dean said, giving him a grin.

"Yeah, sure," Cas grinned, spying a tiny pair of chaps.

Dean pulled them out, holding them up to Jimmy. "Nope, too big."

"Aw," Jimmy sighed.

"I got more," Dean laughed. He pulled out an even smaller pair. "Yep, let's get those on."

He handed them to Cas and the two figured out how to get Jimmy's tiny frame in them. When Cas closed the buckle at his waist, Jimmy took off galloping circles in the lobby.

"Yeehaw! I'm a real cowboy!"

Dean laughed hard, snagging Jimmy up and putting him on his shoulders for a ride. Down the hall they ran and back up, Jimmy and Dean both laughing. Cas watched, taking pictures with his phone and cracking up.  
Dean swung Jimmy down and rifled through the box some more. 

"What's that?" Jimmy asked.

Dean pulled out a small, long coat. "These are the best coats for herding. This one was Sammy's."

Jimmy tried it on, the coat touching the floor and the sleeves too long. He looked like a miniature Marlboro Man and Cas had to take another picture. "That coat might have to wait til next year," Dean laughed.

Cas wanted to laugh, wanted to enjoy the moment, but at the look of happiness in Jimmy's eyes, Cas had a growing realization that Jimmy's heart might get just as broken as his own.

"Hey, look!" Jimmy said, pulling a picture out of the pocket.

"Let me see," Dean squatted down, looking at it. Cas leaned over to see as well.

"Aw. That lady right there is, was, my mom. She's holding Adam. Adam looks like he might be about your age. And that is Sammy," Dean pointed to a boy of about 8 with darker brown hair than his and a big grin. His arm was around Dean's waist, Dean's arm around Sam's shoulder. Dean had an ornery grin on his face and looked like he had just said something to make Sam laugh.

"And that's you?" Jimmy asked, pointing at the 12 year old that already looked enough like Dean for Cas not to doubt it.

"Yep."

Jimmy handed him the picture. "I hope I'm a big brother some day," Jimmy nodded.

Cas coughed on his coffee and Dean had to laugh. Kids.

"So, Cas," Dean said, changing that subject real quick, "can we go riding or what?"

Cas cleared his throat. "I just need to go get dressed and we can go."

"Good. I'll meet you at the stables."

"Can I wear these chaps?" Jimmy asked excitedly.

"You better!" Dean said with mock seriousness. "You're riding by yourself today."

"Really? Yes!" He jumped up and down and took off for the elevator. "If that's okay," Dean asked belatedly.

"Yeah. In the ring."

"Absolutely," Dean nodded. "On a lunge line. It'll be safe. Promise."

Cas nodded, going in the elevator as Dean left.

Gabe came along this time, bored in the hotel room. 

"You gonna ride, Gabe?" Dean asked.

"Hells no," Gabe laughed. "I'm just supervising."

Dean nodded, stepping over to Cas.

"Sorry if I did too much with Jimmy, I just got kinda excited."

Cas nodded, looking down at his clasped hands resting over the top fence rail. "Yeah, be careful. He gets attached quick. He hasn't had a lot of positive interaction with adults like this."

Dean frowned at that. "I was gonna walk and trot on the line with Macey. Then I'll let him walk off the line if you're okay with that."

"Sounds good," Cas grinned, looking into those green eyes.

"Then maybe Gabe can do lunch so we can go have a beer at Ellen's or something."

Cas squinted at Dean trying to guess his intentions at that.

Dean looked at him with a slight pleading in his eyes.

"Just a beer," Cas said, standing up taller.

Dean nodded.

He walked over to Macey, tightening her cinch and checking the halter and lunge line. "Come on over, Jimmy," Dean called. 

Jimmy walked over, eyeing the big horse dubiously.

Dean lifted him up onto the saddle, getting his feet into the short stirrups.  
"I got you," Dean said firmly. "And Macey is a good girl. She loves kids. She has a couple of her own."

Jimmy grinned and nodded, looking more confident.

Gabe came to stand beside him at the fence. "How's it goin?"

"Okay," Cas admitted. "Dean wants to do lunch."

Gabe squinted. "Do you want to go do lunch?"

Cas snickered at his protective older brother. "Yes. We should talk some more."

Gabe nodded. "I like him. Wasn't too sure at first. But he's alright."

Cas grinned and shook his head. They watched as Dean coached Jimmy at walk and then through some trotting. Eventually, he took the lunge line off, walking close to Jimmy as he worked on steering, starting and stopping. Dean was full of praise and encouragement. 

They ended their session at the fence with Cas and Gabe. 

"How'd I do, Dad?" Jimmy asked.

"Fantastic!" Cas beamed.

"And who might this tall drink of water be?" Gabe asked, looking past Dean and Cas.

They all turned, seeing a tall dark-haired young man walking up the lane with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. 

"Holy shit," Dean said. "Sorry!" He winced glancing from Cas to Jimmy.

He handed Cas Macey's reigns and jumped the fence taking off and bear-hugging the guy.

"Oh shit is right," Gabe scowled. "You did ask Dean if he was seeing anyone, right?"

"What the hell are you doing here?" Dean said, pulling back from the embrace.

"Took a long weekend to come home and see you. See how things were going."

Dean shook his head, one arm still slung up around the man's shoulders. They headed arm in arm over to Cas and Gabe.

"Cas, Gabe, Jimmy," Dean pointed at each one, "this is Sammy. My brother."

Gabe immediately relaxed and smiled. "Nice to meet you again, Sam," Cas said, shaking his hand. "I've heard lots of good things about you."

Sam gave him a warm grin. "And I've heard lots of good things about you too, Cas."

Cas blushed, seeing Dean avert his eyes.

He greeted Gabe and Jimmy warmly also.

"I can clean Macey up if you two want some time together," Cas said.

"Yeah," Dean nodded, "but don't go anywhere. I'm still taking you out for that beer."

Cas nodded, hopped the fence and helped Jimmy down. They took the saddle off and brushed her. Clipping the tie across her stall door, Cas wiped down the saddle in the warmth of the big tack room while Jimmy watched and Gabe scavenged the desk for candy.

Dean and Sam came in the tack room. "So, Cas and I are going for a beer," Dean announced. "Sam is going to take you and Jimmy over to Ellen's house if that's okay. She has milkshakes and burgers started for lunch."

Everyone nodded and they went their separate ways.

In Dean's truck, Cas was back to feeling nervous. Dean, however, looked more relaxed than he had since Cas arrived.

Dean turned to him, smile edging his mouth. "Mind if we have that beer at my house?"

Cas' mouth went dry. Were his plans to talk or hook up? "Sure," Cas answered nervously.

Dean obviously saw he was nervous. He pulled out of the parking area and headed up the lane toward his house.

Once inside, Dean told him to have a seat in the living room. Cas sat at one end of the couch. He had not realized how Jimmy had actually put the two at ease with each other. Cas had feared open hostility or angry rejection before he had come. But it had turned out both of them were more relaxed with Jimmy there.

Dean handed him a bottle of beer.

Cas took it, eyes darting nervously to Dean's.

Dean sat next to him on the couch, making Cas' stomach clench with waves of hope, nervousness, fear, and absolute want.

"Cas," Dean started, then took a swig of beer. "I'm glad you came. And I'm sorry I didn't ask you to come sooner."

Cas glanced at him nervously. "I pretty much came as soon as I could get out of Chicago."

Dean nodded. "I kinda gather that you are in between places to live and out of a job."

Cas nodded. "We haven't made any plans. Still recouping from all the legal clean up from Chicago."

"So, I need a good manager to run the hotel."

Cas looked at him steadily.

"No...wait," Dean said, turning to him. "I...I'm gonna go way out on a limb here and just say that I want to see you. I want you to stay. Around here. Or right here. I don't know. I just...if you think it's worth a try, we could try dating. Or something."

A weight lifted from Cas' shoulders. His lungs expanded and his heart beat stronger. 'Dean wants to date! Me! And wants me to stay! He wants me to stay around here!'

"Look," Dean said, nerves making him antsy. He leaned back, digging into his pocket and putting something on the coffee table.

Cas looked at it. A small faded, chipped, cracked blue stone. Cas' eyes flew back to Dean's. "You kept that?"

Dean nodded. "I carried it every day." He sat quietly, looking at it. "I'd get mad some times and throw it. One time it cracked and I damn near cried and glued it back together."

Cas pulled his worn, green stone from his own pocket and sat it next to the blue one.

"Most of the time I just carried it," Dean said with a far-away expression. He looked down at his hands. "I'd pull it out from time to time and wonder where you were. What you were doing."

Dean turned his green eyes onto Cas' blues. "I should have called you a long time ago, Cas."

"I would have come, if I could," Cas said weakly.

"I know. But, let's start over." Dean said it quietly, looking at Cas with all the desire that once was there.

"I can't," Cas said.

Dean blinked and looked down at his beer.

"I mean," Cas stood up, needing some space, "I never have been able to go slow with you. It's like I have no filter. I jump from 0 to 80 in a heartbeat!"

Dean jumped up, grasping what Cas was saying. "Fine, screw dating," Dean said, closing the distance between them, halting just in front of Cas. "Just tell me you won't leave. That you'll stick around and give us a try."

"I won't leave," Cas whispered, his eyes flicking down to Dean's mouth.

Dean breathed in. The tension was static enough to strike lightening, their eyes holding each other in more than a stare.

"Dean," Cas whispered.

Their lips collided with a longing that seemed like a million years had separated them. Dean clung to Cas, powering over him. Cas fighting back with fervent effort. "Cas," Dean panted, pressing him back into a wall. "I want you."

Cas gasped, rocking his hips into Dean's forcefully.

Dean grabbed his hips tight enough to leave bruises. "You came back," he whispered, ripping Cas' shirt off.

"My heart never left, Dean. Not really." They paused, breathing and eyeing each other possessively. 

Dean stifled a pained expression, nodding, agreeing. "I love you, Cas." He looked shocked that he had said it.

"I love you, Dean," Cas said, tears welling up in his eyes.

"You-" Dean pulled back, "you don't have to say that."

"But I do!" Cas came at him fiercely, pulling his shirt off. "I do love you."

Dean took a step back, looking lost.

Cas gave him a quizzical look. "You don't think you deserve to be loved."

Dean stepped back, looking down.

Cas' chin dipped and his eyes took on a determined look. He took Dean's hand and pulled him upstairs. Dean followed in a daze.

"Where's your room?" Cas growled.

"Here," Dean pointed.

Cas stepped inside, turning Dean around and into his arms. "I love you, Dean Winchester."

"I-I love you too," he answered with a dazed look, watching Cas closely.

Cas pushed Dean back and onto the bed. Cas undid his own pants, shucking everything as Dean followed suit, eyes never leaving each other's bodies.

Dean sat on the edge of the bed, pulling Cas toward him. He slid back, dragging Cas over top of his body and wrapping his arms around him. They kissed with passion and heat that had both of them covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Dean rolled over, pinning Cas down and biting his nipple, one hand stroking Cas' length several times then venturing further rolling his balls and sliding deeper to probe his ass.

Cas panted and kissed him feverishly. Dean stopped, pulling his nightstand drawer open and pulling a bottle of lube out. He was rushing, needy and pushy. He lubed his fingers and Cas clamped a firm grip around his wrist. 

Dean pulled his mouth off of Cas', searching his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere, Dean."

Dean took a breath. "Okay."

"I'm staying here as long as you want me."

"Okay," Dean said again, the heat in his eyes losing the frantic lust.

"We're not hooking up," Cas choked out, getting tearful again.

"No. We're not," Dean said, his body relaxing. His clean hand softened and ran through Cas' hair. "I've got you, Cas," he said gently, kissing him softer with no less heat.

"Make love to me Dean, don't..."

Dean smiled, holding back tears of his own. "I will. I am." 

Cas nodded and Dean leaned into him, kissing him with a slower passion. "I love you," he whispered in his ear.

Cas relaxed and opened up. His legs widened and Dean massaged around his opening, sliding a finger in. Their mouths panted and kissed as his second finger slid in, widening a way.

"I want to be inside you," Dean moaned, Cas rocking onto his hand and biting softly at Dean's neck.

Three fingers and stretching. Cas was putty in his hands and Dean marveled at his lithe, supple frame working so hard underneath him.  
Cas reached for the lube, squeezing some into his hand and then massaging Dean's dick with each stroke Dean's fingers made.

"Uh, Dean," he called.

"I'm goin," Dean grinned, sliding his fingers out and both of them sliding his dick inside. 

Dean pushed firm and held at his full length. Cas relaxed into the fullness and precome leaked from his cock pinned between them.

Dean bit lightly at Cas' ear. "You're beautiful."

Cas blinked at the compliment and grinned. 

"And all mine," Dean grinned greedily.

"All yours," Cas said back. Dean began moving in and out gently. 

"Faster, Dean," Cas whined.

"No," Dean panted, "I'm making love to you, Castiel. And I wanna see you. Every second. I've missed so much."

Cas pushed up onto him further, his feet wrapping around to pull him in deeper.

"I love you, Dean."

Dean grinned, kissing him again. Those words were like a balm. Like a fresh shower washing a lifetime of dust off of him. He gripped Cas tight in his arms speeding up slightly and pounding firmer with each thrust. 

Their eyes locked, blowing wide with lust and need and want and love.

Cas threw his head back reeling with erotic pleasure. Dean reached down, sliding his slightly lubed hand onto Cas' dick. He stroked and thrusted together, Cas clawing at the bedding and at Dean's back.

He had him. He had him in his grasp. In his bed. In his home. He was   
his. And he was staying. Dean surged three forceful thrusts and strokes, Cas feeling warm liquid spread inside him and he was lost. Ropes of white shot between them as they rocked into a dazed stupor.

Eyes coming back into focus, Dean kissed Cas' still panting mouth. He pulled out, semen leaking everywhere.

Dean grabbed a shirt from the hamper, wiping them both off and snuggled into his waiting embrace.

Minutes ticked by and nothing moved except their breathing chests. A joy and happiness seeped into their souls. Never before had either of them felt so at home. So in the right place.

After almost an hour of just lying there, Dean sat up, running his fingers down Cas' cheek. 

Cas blinked dreamily at him.

Dean leaned down and kissed him. "Come on."

Cas sat up. "It's the middle of the day and I have chores to get done and the phones at the hotel need checked."

"And dinner at Ellen's," Cas said.

They reclaimed their clothes as they went, dressing in stages from upstairs to down.

They left the house and got into Dean's truck.

"So, what do you want to tell people?" Dean asked.

"The truth. I can't even hide it."

Dean smiled, looking over at Cas' happy grin. He was right. Happiness shined out of him like the friggin sun.

"Okay," Dean chuckled, "but what about Jimmy."

"I'll explain everything today. Kids adapt quickly. And he adores you."

Dean grinned but gave Cas a warning look. "Kids can surprise you too. He just got you for himself. He might not be ready to share."

Cas grinned at the thought. "I guess we will just have to see."

"I'm just sayin I can chill a minute to get Jimmy on board."

"Thank you, Dean."

Dean nodded. "It's important."


	6. Return Flight

Chapter 6. Return Flight. 

 

Cas sat down on the hotel bed. Jimmy handed him their book. "I need to have a talk with you, Jimmy."

Jimmy scooted up in the bed, looking very small and worried. 

"Everything is fine," Cas soothed, pulling Jimmy onto his lap. 

"I don't want to leave. I don't want to go to Chicago," he started sniffling.

"Hey," Cas said sternly, Jimmy looking up. "I promised. This has nothing to do with Chicago."

Jimmy relaxed, pouting slightly.

"This has to do with me. And you. And being here."

Jimmy sat up straighter, Castiel brushing Jimmy's hair back and chucking him softly under the chin. Cas grinned, kissing his forehead. "You know I love you, right?"

"Yep," Jimmy grinned. He had only heard Cas say it a million times.

"Well, what if I love somebody else too?" Cas asked, watching.

"Like uncle Gabe."

"I love uncle Gabe too, but this is different."

"Ooohh," Jimmy nodded, his blue eyes piercing into Cas'. "Like a girlfriend? Blek!" He stuck his tongue out.

Cas laughed. "Yeah, like that."

Jimmy nodded, his face more serious now. "Who is it?" He asked timidly.

Cas took a deep breath. "Well, it's Dean."

Jimmy's head jerked up catching his eyes.

"Daddy..." Jimmy whispered, "Dean?"

"Yes," Cas nodded, waiting.

Jimmy sat silently. 

"Is that why we came here? So you can stay with Dean?"

"Jimmy. Wherever you go, I go. Wherever I go, you go. Package deal, right?"

Jimmy nodded slowly.

"You are my son. You come first. Always."

Their blue eyes searched each other for understanding.

"I like Dean."

Cas grinned. "Me too. Like a whole, whole bunch."

Jimmy nodded. "Are we gonna stay here?"

"I think," Cas said, twisting his mouth and tweaking Jimmy's nose, "we could give it a try. If you think it's okay."

Jimmy nodded and laid his head on Cas' chest. "I think Dean likes me too. He gave me his chaps. He says I can keep them."

Cas grinned, kissing his soft hair and hugging him tight. "Dean told me he likes you very much. So much that he wants you to stay as much as me."

Jimmy giggled. "Can we sleep in different hotel beds every night?"

"No, goober," Cas laughed, tickling him.

Cas tucked him into bed. "Jimmy, if you change your mind, you have to promise to tell me. You go, I go."

Jimmy nodded, grinning. "Did you kiss him when you went to lunch?"

"Hey!" Cas laughed, "I don't kiss and tell!"

"Haha! You just said you kissed him!"

"Aw," Cas rolled his eyes, "you are way too smart for your own good."

"Daddy. Kissing is gross," Jimmy scolded.

"Well then I'll stop," Cas laughed, blushing.

"You're fibbing," he giggled, shaking his head.

"Maybe," Cas laughed. "Now, I am dying to know what happens in the next chapter of our book."

Jimmy nodded, scooting down into bed to hear more about Cowboys.

 

The next morning, Gabe strolled into the lobby where Cas and Jimmy sat with alphabet letter cards. He knew them all and they were starting to lay three together to make words. 

"Look, uncle Gabe! I made C-A-T."

"Mind blowing, munchkin," Gabe grinned, Cas rolling his eyes at his brother's humor.

"So...how'd it go?" Gabe asked quietly.

"Good. I think we're staying. And today I'm going to talk to Dean about what he mentioned yesterday about managing the hotel. I could do that."  
Gabe nodded. "Need any help?" He grinned, rather sadly.

Cas was surprised to see the look on his face. Gabe never needed anyone. But their past months together had been good. For as good as it could be when dealing with tearing a family and a company apart. 

"Gabe, you can stay here. There is so much need for help here. For once, let our family help another family do good. These people bring joy to people's lives. And..I want you to stay."

"Oh, Cassie. Always the dreamer," Gabe grinned. "I suppose I could stick around for a bit."

Cas grinned. 

 

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

Dean and Adam rounded the cattle into the far field that evening. As they made the long trek back to the stable, Dean figured now was as good a time as any to broach the subject of Cas.

"Hey," Dean called, waving Adam over. Side by side their horses walked along the long stretch of flat land.

"I wanted to run somethin past ya," Dean said.

"About Cas?" Adam asked, smirk fixed on his young face.

"Yeah, about Cas."

"Is he moving in?"

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Something like that."

Adam laughed. "Ya know, I been hearin’ about the guy for years. It's not really a surprise."

"I never talk about him!" Dean hollered into the darkening night.

"You did too. Only after three shots of Ash's apple pie moonshine."

Dean shook his head. "Fine. Well, whatever. Are you okay with it?"

Adam smirked, looking away then back at Dean. "Does it really matter?"

"Yeah, Adam. It matters. You're my brother. It's our house. And he has a little kid."

Adam nodded, his face looking more serious now. "You know I thought Dad was wrong. I know he has always given you shit for liking guys. But I don't care. You do you, man. If he makes you happy, then I'm happy."

Dean nodded. 

"And I won't be living there too much longer. I got plans."

"Oh yeah, gonna build that house you keep talking about?"

"Yes, I am. The land is perked and ours, so it will be perfect."

"But I'm not pushin’ you out. That house is our family home."

Adam nodded, looking ahead. "And it will be a good home. It'll be great."

"People might talk," Dean said.

"Fuck people."

"Hey, watch yer mouth."

"To hell with people," Adam grinned.

Dean laughed, "Yeah, fuck 'em."

 

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

The next day was Sam's last day in town before he had to go back to school. Ellen planned a big dinner at her house, which Cas insisted on helping with. The house was full. Cas and Ellen were busy in the kitchen, Bobby claiming he was helping. Sam and Gabe were sitting in the dining room talking endlessly, keeping an eye on Jimmy, who was out in the yard, playing with the dogs. Dean sat down in the living room to watch the game with Adam and Jo.

"So, Mom says you are having Cas move in with you," Jo said, fixing him with a look.

"Yeah," Dean said, glancing at her. If anyone was going to harass him, it was Jo. Not because she was homophobic, but because she was 18 and his cousin. It's just what she always did.

"Mom says I can't give you any shit about it." She grinned, eyeing him.

"Oh, really," Dean said.

"Yeah. I just feel bad for all my friends."

"Your friends?" Dean asked, looking at her.

"Yeah, all my friends that come around and say 'is Dean your cousin? He's sooo hot!' Now I gotta break all their little hearts and tell 'em you play for the other team." She sighed and pouted.

"Your friends are children," Dean smirked.

"Uh, we're graduating!" She groused, swatting him with a couch pillow.

"You're children," Dean said, stone serious, hitting her back.

"Well I guess you're an old man then," she spat, throwing the pillow back and rocking the lamp next to Dean.

"Joanna Beth!" Ellen hollered.

Dean laughed and Jo glared at him. "Jerk," she said, half laughing.

"Bitch," Dean mouthed back.

"Mom! Dean called me a bitch!" She smirked at Dean.

"Well then quit actin like one," Bobby yelled.

"Uh! Dad!" She glared out at him. "I swear, this family!"

Dean and Bobby laughed, Bobby swatting a pillow down that sailed out of the living room and straight for his head.

"Joanna Beth! Dean Michael! I swear, you two," Ellen hollered, hand on her hip. "You too Robert," she said, pointing a finger at Bobby.

They all laughed, Cas throwing a much amused look over his shoulder at Dean.

Dean got up, coming into the kitchen. "Aw, we're just messin, Aunt Ellen," Dean laughed, kissing her cheek.

She grinned, going back to her biscuits. Dean stepped up behind Cas, who was stirring a big pot of beans. "Smells good," he said, putting an arm around Cas and inspecting the pot.

"They do. Ellen's teaching me your favorites," he grinned.

Dean grinned, watching a blush grow on Cas' face. He leaned over, kissing him on the mouth.

Sufficiently embarrassing Cas, Dean got out of the tight kitchen and sat down with Sam and Gabe, who were already sitting at the dining room table, still open to the kitchen. "And just what are you two all camped up about?"

Sam grinned eagerly. "Gabe has some great ideas about managing the hotel. He says he and Cas can streamline some of the systems Mom and Grandma had in place."

"Good," Dean said, taking a drink of his beer. "Change can be good."

Gabe grinned.

"So, you gonna stick around awhile then, Gabe?" Dean asked.

"Well, Cas and I will help get you guys rolling. When Sam gets home in a month, we can plan more then. But we won't make changes without consulting you and Sam."

Dean nodded, seeing how on board Sam was. "Sounds good to me. I'm relieved. Honestly, we were all feeling pretty unprepared for the season to start in a few weeks."

"It's gonna be a piece of cake," Gabe grinned, patting Sam's shoulder. "Speaking of cake, Cassie, how's my cake lookin?"

Cas opened the oven. "Not yet."

Gabe nodded.

"You like to bake?" Dean asked, standing up.

"He's an awesome baker!" Sam said, "He made us these apple turnovers yesterday -"

"Where was I?" Dean laughed, "I never saw any apple turnovers!"

"I don't know," Sam grinned, staring at him. "You kinda disappeared for awhile there at lunch time. Where were ya?"

Dean blushed, glaring at Sam, who knew damn well he was 'having a beer' with Cas.

"Yeah," Gabe added, brow furrowed in question, "Where did you go?"

Dean leaned down on the table, looking the pair in their eyes. "You really want to know where I was and what I was doing?"

"No," they both answered adamantly.

"That's what I thought," Dean snickered.

"Dean," Cas warned.

"What? Just chatting with our brothers!" He defended.

"Go play with Jimmy," Bobby scoffed, shooing Dean out the door.

"I was just answering their question!" He defended, letting himself be steered out the door.

Dean's laugh died out as he took in Jimmy's small frame, perched on the top rail of the fence, looking out at the field beyond Ellen and Bobby's house. He walked over, leaning his arms over the top rail.

"What's up, Jimmy?" Dean asked.

"Nothin," he said, looking at Dean.

"You doin okay?"

"Yep."

Dean stood awhile, the quiet evening chirping around them.

"Dean?" Jimmy asked.

"Yeah?"

"You really like my daddy, right?"

Dean bit his lip. "I sure do."

Jimmy nodded. 

"You okay with that?" Dean asked.

"My uncle Luc was nice to Dad too, but when Dad wasn't around he said really bad stuff about him."

Dean clenched his jaw at the look of worry he had for his dad.

"Jimmy," Dean said gently, "I'm nothing like your uncles Luc or Raphael. If I say I like someone, I like them. If I don't like them, you'll know." He grinned, gripping Jimmy's slender shoulder.

"Uncle Luc said Dad was an abomolation. That he had evil thoughts -"

"Jimmy," Dean said, stopping Jimmy's frenzied memories. "Your dad is a good man. And I love him very much."

Jimmy's blue eyes shined. "Oh."

"Everything you heard from them in Chicago, I want you to put in a bubble. All those nasty words and names. Put 'em in a bubble."

Jimmy nodded slowly.

"Go ahead, put 'em all in a big nasty bubble," Dean said.

Jimmy squeezed his eyes shut. "Okay," he said, opening his eyes.

"Now, blow it away. Go ahead, I'll help," Dean nodded.

Jimmy looked out into the field dotted with scrub bushes. He took a deep breath and blew really hard. Dean got beside him, blowing into the wind just as hard.

Jimmy stopped, grinning at Dean.

"Whew," Dean said, "that was a big bubble for such a little guy."

Jimmy nodded.

"Now, we don't have to think about all those nasty memories," Dean said, lifting Jimmy off the rail and carrying him toward the house. "And if any float back, because sometimes those memories can be sneaky and sneak back in here," Dean said, tapping Jimmy's head, "you just put 'em in another bubble and blow 'em away."

"Okay," Jimmy grinned, hugging him tight.

"Aw," Dean sighed, hugging him back.

"Thanks, Dean."

"Any time, kiddo. Anytime. Now, your head seems kinda empty with all that space," Jimmy giggled, "so let's go fill it up with new memories, alright?"

"Alright!" Jimmy giggled.

"I'm gonna start by going in here and giving your dad a big bear hug."

"Yeah! Let's squish him!"

"Now, we're talkin!" Dean cheered, pulling the back door open. 

They came in quietly, sneaking up behind Cas at the stove. "Ready?" Dean whispered, "1, 2, 3!" They launched a hug onto Cas, making him laugh and turn into both of them. They growled and hugged, half lifting Cas off his feet, making Cas lose his stirring spoon. Dean laughed, kissing Cas, then kissing Jimmy on the head. Jimmy hugged both men tightly, kissing them both on the cheek. Cas, not to be left out, kissed Dean on the mouth and then snatched Jimmy up, lifting him high.

"Are you attacking me while I'm cooking?" Cas teased.

"I'm a bear!" Jimmy laughed.

"A bear? I love bear meat! Mmmm!" Cas growled back biting at Jimmy's still-coat covered belly.

"Ahhh!" Jimmy laughed harder than Cas had ever heard him.

"Get this bear mess out of my kitchen!" Ellen laughed, swatting at all three of them with a towel. 

 

All nine squeezed around the dinner table to enjoy a big meal together.


	7. Home Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter. It’s a short timestamp.  
> I hope you enjoyed!

Chapter 7. Home Sweet Home

 

Cas strode across the parking area by the stable, finding Dean. Dean watched as his husband made his way across, grinning and hunger increasing with each step he took. Cas' eyes were strikingly blue today and he knew why.

"It's done," Cas grinned, stopping in front of him.

"Done," Dean clarified, fighting to not get his hopes up too high. 

"We sign at the lawyers office tomorrow. And it's over. She's ours."

Dean bit his lip grinning. He launched a hug on Cas, lifting him up and spinning him around. They kissed, laughing and hugging each other tightly.

"What's goin on?" Jimmy asked, loping over on the horse he rode.

"Can we tell him now?" Dean asked in Cas' ear.

"Yeah!" Cas laughed, both men turning at the fence to talk to Jimmy.

"So, ya know how we talked about adopting Emma?" Dean said.

"Yeah?" Jimmy said, leaning forward expectantly.

"Well, the adoption is finalized tomorrow. Congratulations, buddy! You're a big brother!"

"Yes!" Jimmy cheered, the horse dancing and Jimmy took off around the ring. "I'm a big brother!"

Dean and Cas laughed. They had known Jimmy was pulling for Emma's adoption to go through.

"Dad, guess what!" Jimmy called, trotting back to them.

"What?" Dean and Cas asked.

"I'm a brother! Ha!"

Dean laughed. "Being a big brother isn't always easy, Jimmy. It can be pretty tough sometimes."

Jimmy nodded. "I'm gonna teach her how to ride."

Dean and Cas nodded, grinning. Emma had come to them at a year and half old. She would be three in a few months. She was the daughter of a classmate of Jo's who was single and had died. As friend's of hers, they took Emma right away. Dean and Cas had talked about having another child some day and Jimmy had always wanted to be a big brother. She made their family feel perfect.

"Ellen is gonna cry," Dean said. "She was so worried things would fall through."

Cas nodded, Dean turning to hold him in his arms again. "Congratulations, you're a dad again!" Cas grinned, kissing him.

"I love you. Like just ridiculous amounts of love," Dean laughed.

"And I love you back. Ridiculously so."

Dean turned to Jimmy. "Time to come in, bud. We gotta go pick up Emma at Ellen's and then Sam wants to meet for dinner."

"Okay," Jimmy said, turning toward the stable. At the age of 8, Jimmy could ride like a pro. Dean and Cas would not let him herd cattle yet, but he was already bugging to help.

When Cas and Jimmy moved in with Dean and Adam four years ago, they had become a family overnight. Jimmy had said many times that he did not remember Chicago at all. The memories were just gone. Dean would smile proudly every time he said it.   
When Sam graduated from college, Adam graduated high school. They ran the resort fully family staffed for the first time since their mother had passed. When that season ended, Cas took Dean and Jimmy for a road trip across the country. Dean had insisted on driving an Impala he had bought and fixed up. 

They spent three weeks in Florida, Dean never having seen the ocean before. He quickly learned Dean was a mountain man and not a beach boy. But both men were just as much of a kid as Jimmy when they spent a week at Disney World. 

They met up with Gabe and Sam for some night clubbing in New York City. Dean was more at home with random small town fun and Route 66 anomalies. Sights seen, cities visited, trails hiked, pictures taken, Dean had gotten his travel bug out and the pair had even more time to bond.   
Arriving home to their nest in the red rock cliffs had them all feeling content. 

The next year Cas and Dean went to England and Scotland. They had fun going on pub tours and sight-seeing. 

Then Emma came along, and Winchester home went into family mode double time. While it felt like a natural fit, Ellen and Bobby were amazing help. The stucco home was full and loud and busy. 

Gabe opened a small bakery in Tropic and managed the kitchen at the resort. Cas and Sam ran the hotel, Dean and Bobby ran the stable and trail riding, and Adam managed the cattle. Ellen was still running the bar, but preferred babysitting her grandkids, Jimmy and Emma. 

Their customers often returned, loving the family feel and having more sights to see within a drive than most could fit into a single vacation. 

 

Cas pulled Dean into a hug before Jimmy came out of the stable. "I think this calls for a celebration, cowboy," he said low into Dean's ear.

"Yeah?" Dean smiled eagerly. "We can go out for dinner with Sam and celebrate with the kids. Then maybe he can bring them home so I could take you out for a beer."

"God, I love when you take me out for a beer," Cas grinned, a low, rumbling laugh was muffled by Dean kissing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Escalante, Utah is a real place. Go visit if you can. In my opinion, it is even better than the Grand Canyon. I hope you all enjoyed this fic. I never did the dad!cas thing before and did not want to tag it and give it away. Hope you guys liked Jimmy. He was fun to write!


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